Lost

Yeah.

That’s pretty likely too. I know it’s the same with my parents, if I can’t bring myself to do things anymore… suddenly it’s ‘laziness’ and lack of effort. It doesn’t automatically mean it’s true, you know.

Parents often don’t know what’s going on or what’s the actual harmful thing either many times.

And you’re not required to know what you want if nothing comes to mind yet.

I know I got aware of a few things (you might like telling someone about those little things or write it to yourself somewhere just to remind yourself of it in the worst moments) that I wanted with time.

Simple stuff like your food preferences or beverages or whatever unique things of yours. Even a past thing that right now you can’t feel anymore because of all the heaviness and anxiety and tiredness.

However, don’t get too discouraged if you can’t think of anything, not even small wants. It’s usually visible when you are not applying further pressure to it.

Right now, you could ask yourself more practical things. No need to find the goal or direction of your dreams yet.

Just look at perhaps what you managed best in your past years, a certain homework or a certain subject. See if you can choose something that is neutral. You can always shift once you find out it isn’t for you.

I say this also because once you place that weight somewhere, once you make some choices however wrong or else and you don’t hold onto the weight of what you can’t control (ex. you can’t know if you’ll pick the right direction already), you can gradually feel lighter and have that space to truly figure out what you want.

Or what you don’t want! That’s probably what you can figure out first. Seeing what makes you feel the most dread is the first step towards your unique direction.

These are a bunch of thoughts, I don’t know if any of these points intrigue you or resonate.

You don’t have to do all those things or even any of it, maybe you just needed someone to hear you out because none of what you have said so far feels unfamiliar to me.