Never fix myself !!! I'm just worthless... 😔
Why do I feel like I’m falling apart even when I’m barely trying to crawl forward?
Why am I constantly distracted, unmotivated, and disoriented?
Is it laziness? Am I not worth it? Why do I keep breaking down over the smallest steps?
I genuinely love my studies. I admire learning.
But the moment I even think about studying, fear takes over.
Fear of what? Failure? Expectations? Shame?
Will I ever make it?
Will my parents ever be proud of me?
Will shame ever loosen its grip on me?
I’m not asking for pity — I’m trying to understand myself.
Also… can anyone share practical tips on how to start small and stay consistent?
@Ailuraphilelove8tear9
Hello there, thanks so much for having the courage to share what you're going through and being so honest and open, it's not easy to do at all. Fear and anxiety are huge blockers to motivation and focus, even when we want to.
Back when I was a student, I also found it really hard to motivate myself and I would procrastinate a lot because there was so much to do and it felt unmanageable. What really helped was having someone as an accountability partner, like a mentor or buddy, to help me plan my week, break tasks down and talk to about why I was procrastinating. Breaking a big project, like an essay or an exam, down into its constituent steps and starting with the smallest possible thing, like printing off the syllabus or putting together a reading list - telling myself I didn't have to write the essay, I just had to open the textbook made me a lot more likely to start!
I'd be really happy to chat further, please do reach out if it'd be helpful.
@Lyra
Hey hi Lyra ❤️
Sry fo late response, I've been caught up into few things, NVM.
Thank you for all that support n tips... I'm so grateful for you.
Idk... what's going on with me, idk.. why I'm not taking up any small step ahead, even tho ik it's not going to that hard.
I'm constantly worried of procrastinating, i did the same last year's n ended up completely ruining myself. I'm worried of myself what i am now, Ik stuffs what could help me but still I'm refusing it n ended worring for being lazy.
I've no idea why I'm so stubborn? i see my life just messing up due to my laziness, I'm being degraded for this... yet I'm not taking any steps.
I really need support but I'm not into 1-1 chat's Lyra. I'm not comfortable with it, but i do neen help, Would be helpful if u can help me coming out of this lazyness 💝.
Hugs 🤗
@Ailuraphilelove8tear9 Completely get it, really happy to talk in the forum if you're not comfortable 1:1. I think with procrastination, there tends to be a fear that sits under it, do you think you might be able to identify yours?
@Lyra
Hey hi Lyra ❤️
Appreciate ur understanding!! thank you <3
So, yeah..!! I'm apprehensive, I'm afraid of the outcome...
When i gave my best once, it doesn't matter in the End, I've been blamed, mocked, compared, criticised... eventually i lost interest, I'm despaired when all my efforts was never mattered.
I'm afraid even to think of starting, there's something in my chest pulling back... I'm afraid what if can't make it, I'm afraid of the judgement.
But i do regret... everything messing up, i feel restless, i dont even know why couldn't i even take any step forward, not even a tiny step.
@Ailuraphilelove8tear9
Heya, really sorry to hear how you've been treated, that's so unkind and horrible. I think we need a mix of internal and external motivation to do the hard things and when you're so lacking in validation from people around you, that's going to make things so much harder. Maybe we could think together about a goal that you'd like to work towards and think about breaking it down a little and looking at those big feelings which threaten to overwhelm you?