Options/Suggestions Appreciated
This happened to me at work fairly recently. First off, I don't do well with conflict. I have a tendency to panic. I was trying to finish a report at work and one of the leads got upset because I was taking too long. I was trying to get the totals to match but the lead was telling me it wasn't important. To me, when dealing with financial information, totals are always important. He perceived me as being argumentative and told me to go into the manager's office. Another manager came in and just added fuel to the fire. I tried to stop when my voice was shaking from anxiety I suppose. But the situation was tense and all I could think about was retreat, which I did.
Sometime the next week I was called into the office to be informed that I was written up for insubordination and I was placed on monitoring. Then I was told to accept the leads decisions no matter what because they have been at the job longer. This is true. I have been with the company for a little over a year once my position of nearly ten years was eliminated due to cutbacks as a result of Covid. And a job I'd found in-between the two positions was not quite what I expected. I have never been in trouble at my previous job but none of these people knew me then so I guess I can sort of understand why I was reported to HR. There had been a similar incident (me reacting poorly to confrontation) but that was at least five months ago. I am always at work early, I never call in, and I do my best to stay out of trouble (which unfortunately, did not work out so well).
But here's the problem. On one hand, I'm to accept the leads decisions unconditionally but on the other hand, I was told that rules are constantly changing. They encourage questions but yet again, they don't because when I have tried to ask questions, I get the feeling like I'm imposing. And, if I'm supposed to accept decisions unconditionally, then I should have no questions, right? And there's no point in asking questions after they review my reports because once I get the review, the report has already been submitted with the changes the leads make. So again, the question aspect is a moot point. Then there's the large amount of small talk that goes on. The leads talk about being constantly behind but they wouldn't be if they stopped chatting. Our receptionist has made the observation on the large amount of talking that goes on in my department. Yet I'm the unprofessional one.
I want to take advantage of the tuition reimbursement programs they have and get some certification that would help my resume then put in an interest profile with another company which is unfortunately much farther away from home than where I currently work. The other location is in the middle of the city which also would mean more stress due to traffic.
I would like to stay where I'm currently at but I don't think that will be possible. My question is this: Since I'm on monitoring, I can't afford any more infractions--not if I want to use their reimbursement program. So, what would be the best way to deal with problems that may arise? If I question something, it could be seen as confrontational but if I don't question anything, that could be seen as potentially causing trouble as well. I feel like it's a catch-22 situation and since my job is on the line here and I have nothing to fall back on (I'm still trying to get back on track from losing my job of nearly ten years), I want to mitigate any potential bad situations but I'm not quite sure how to do that.
@Enthenia
Thank you so much for sharing. I would say do what you feel is right, if you have questions I would ask for clarification. You seem to be doing everything right!
@Josh3889
Thank you! I actually hadn't realized someone responded until now. Actually, things have gotten a little worse. I requested a meeting with the director of our HR. I wasn't going to but our receptionist pushed me into doing it. I've seen what happens to people who say something to HR. I said something once at a long ago job and got in trouble for it.
I explained what lead up to the situation to the director and explained my reasons for walking out of the office the way I did. I was starting to feel trapped. I had three people talking at me and I was starting to feel like what I was trying to say wasn't being paid attention to and anxiety started up...and apologized and left while one manager was still talking. The door was wide open so anyone close by could hear the conversation. The director agreed that the door should have been closed.
I was in with the director for about an hour. I left later than I normally do but today I found out from the receptionist that one of my managers was visibly shaken when he learned that I was in the HR director's office. Later today, I had to sign a form (something I haven't had to do in years) and then I looked at the allegations made against me. Much of it was untrue or incidents that happened two or three months ago. I sent the form to the HR director along with a breakdown of what actually happened. Like it said I intentionally left someone off of emails because I didn't think he was qualified. I did leave the person off of emails because I thought he had been on vacation. I didn't see the point in sending off emails if the person was on vacation and I didn't want to add to the inevitable overloaded inbox when the person returned. When I saw the person in the office again, I included him on relevant emails. I did mention to HR that it should be common courtesy to inform people in the office when leads are out of the office.
And there were more things on the form like that. That I'm not open to change, that I don't work with others, I'm against feedback etc. I gave HR examples of how I have helped the department and the company as a whole. When I have free time, I do online courses from our employment platform. I've done 70 hours in a couple of months with topics ranging from business writing to blockchain technology. I cover for another girl when she leaves early or do transactions for a location she's not licensed for. I took the time to convert some spreadsheets to readable graphs (I actually took the initiative to learn that) because for some people, a graph is much easier to make sense out of than a long spreadsheet. The HR person was out or at another location so I haven't had a response back from her but it seems like I'm being targeted for no apparent reason.
But here's the thing, the place I was sort of entertaining has some employee reviews that mention similar things as what I've recently experienced. I think I may update my job profiles on a couple of sites but I'm hesitant to start looking for something else. It seems like no matter what company I'm with, there's always an issue. Granted, my current experience is brand new (or perhaps it has been too long that I can't remember) but it is really making me reserved to look at my options.
@Enthenia
Thank you so much for the update & I am sorry to hear that things are still not working out. I really do believe that you are doing everything right by going to HR & asking questions. Don't let this stop you from applying to another job in the future. If you ever need a chat just click on my profile!
@Josh3889
Thank you! I noticed yesterday that one of the managers just "happens" to be close by when I come back from the restroom or a break. It happened again today. The manager came out of the office when I and the receptionist were discussing language and I went back into the office. Not even five minutes later, the manager appeared from the other entrance and went back to his office. No one else gets this sort of treatment, just me.
And aside from the incident which came from a failure to communicate, I've done nothing wrong.
I have updated my profile with the temp agency that got me the job to begin with. There are positions out there that pay more than what I'm getting now--providing I have the correct certifications. That's going to be my next step but I have to keep the waters calm where I'm currently at because they offer reimbursement for education.
@Enthenia
Thanks for the update, you are doing great with all of this. Keep up the great work!
Hello,
This sounds like a handful coming from your leads, manager and director! Hearing all that is happening is making even me anxious. I'm also not someone who likes any type of confrontation, and I stay away things that will cause conflict. It sounds like a good choice would be doing the tuition reimbursement courses, get a better position and hopefully away front these people. In the meantime, aside from the higher upside that have spoken to you, is there yet another person who overlooks your department that you can speak with? Someone who isn't biased for boss vs employee? Finance and numbers, I would think that it's definitely important that you checked they matched. I have a feeling that with people like us (don't like confrontations), makes us easy targets for people who wants to release their own stresses and anxiety on us. So, try and see each confrontation as someone who is acting towards the situation at hand, and not specifically at you. I think for now, you just need to do your part and let the others talk.
It sounds like you're doing everything in the proper ways, so to have them complain about your work, it only sounds like they are upset that you're doing things right. I know there are some people (in any kind of job/company), that when someone with less seniority is always doing a good job, following all the rules and best practices, it may look like a threat to those more senior than them. To them, because they have been in the company for so long, they have their own ways to do things, probably developed a habit and can get away with mistakes. So when someone new comes along, does everything by the book and better than them, it may seem like a threat, and that we're being arrogant and a know-it-all. I've been targeted a few times in my current position too, but luckily, someone encouraged me to stand up for myself and things were eventually resolved because in the end, I did nothing wrong.
With the other position in the middle of the city, is there anything you can so to lessen the anxiety for the traffic? That seems like another option for you, if you can find alternative ways to deal with the anxiety, this is something you can think of too. For me, I'm not really into driving, but since Covid, I don't want to be taking public transit for work. Although my work is very short distance, the moment I start my car, I get nervous. For me, it helps when I chew gum and play music from my favorite Playlist and sing along. At tines where I'm needing to drive for more than an hour, I still do all those things, keep changing out my gum, and I'm still nervous because I notice I end up gripping the steering wheel tightly. When I'm 45mins into the drive, my fingers start to feel a bit numb.
For now, just be you.
@Jaeteuk
Well I found out I'm eligible for the reimbursement program but the one I was looking at starts at the beginning of next month. The problem is, my rent is due at about the same time. I could probably ask family members for help but I'm hesitant to do so. I would get the money back once the course is over in December. The good thing is, what I want to focus on is something that pays well, is in demand, and can be used in almost any sort of industry. But I don't exactly know how this entire thing will play out. I've basically been given a month to improve myself with check-ins with management once a week. My first one is tomorrow. I'm going to do my best to be reserved.
Part of the problem is, the company got bought out April of last year. I started as a temp. worker in May. Many of the people there now really haven't been there that long. Like the manager I'm having difficulties with. Turns out his main experience before starting as a temporary worker (like I did) was working in a coffee shop. But, he's a smooth talker and the other lead I supposedly have a problem with has the same traits (talks a good game). In reality, there are very few who have any sort of managerial experience at least in my area. The department head I guess has experience but she's new to this company.
As for the traffic problem with the other company, I go by bus and getting around by bus down there is just a pain. The place is further down the street from my old job of nearly ten years. I sort of like being able to get home half and hour to and hour after my shift ends. I would not have that luxury with that other company. It could easily take an hour or two to get home. Of course, if I took on a temporary job, I could still have the same transportation problem. But, the pay would be a lot better if I got a certificate or two.
I guess right now all I can do is wait and see how tomorrow plays out.
So I had my meeting today. It was with the new director. Turns out talking to HR wasn't the best idea. It even got to the higher up in my department. Many of my perceptions were wrong and things I said was making the environment difficult for others--something I thought would never happen.
So apparently I talk too much but I don't say enough. The director said I was a good worker, I just need to take criticism better and need to be more amiable. I don't do small talk. I suppose I can depending on the situation. I can talk fine with my bus drivers or a neighbor but not really in the office. I sort of learned long ago that saying nothing was the best since my attempts to be sociable have ended up as extremely awkward in the past. Now I have to make an effort if I want to keep this job.
I have to make an attempt because I get the feeling this might be an issue no matter where I go. But, wouldn't it be odd for me to try and talk to people all of a sudden? I tried saying something to the guy who works on the other side of me once last week I think and got no response. I chided myself for attempting to be friendly.
And, it seems that that's the nexus of the entire incident. I feel bad for getting HR involved and upper management in my department and I do feel bad for upsetting others. That wasn't my intent. Sometimes I wish I could work a late shift so that I could just do my job and not deal with anyone but that's not possible.
I know I can attempt to be placid when getting feedback but the other thing will be much more difficult. I think it would have just been much easier if I had said absolutely nothing in the past but I can't change the fact these events happened.
