Stress and anxiety due to starting college soon
I'm starting college soon and it's making me feel really anxious and stressed. I feel childish writing this as I'm supposed to be a mature adult who's not afraid of life or anything and has dreams that keep me going. I do have dreams, I am working towards them slowly, but I feel like I'm not fit to be adult.
I'm also figuring out my dorm situation as the room I got assigned is awful and made me not want to go there at all, even if I get another room. I wanted to stay at dorm from the start, it would make my schedule a bit light as I wouldn't have to travel for over an hour, but I will miss my privacy and my home. I will also miss the calls I had with my long distance partner as I don't know if I'll be able to call with her much at dorm. The whole situation got worse as my parents are pressuring me into staying at the dorm so I have social life. I already know a few people at the college who I believe might become my friends eventually and I think they just want me to be busy enough so I also don't have time for my partner as they're very against our relationship due to homophobia. I can't seem to be able to stand up to them, as I start crying whenever we argue. I can't help it and it's annoying and makes me feel like I'm just a pathetic excuse of a human who has no way of succeeding in life.
I am perfectly capable of commuting and I would prefer to do that because of my mental health too. I don't like new places and it just takes me a really long while to get used to new places. I'm also very socially awkward and fear I'd become a burden or a nuisance to my future roommates and that I'll get left out by them.
I am afraid I will be tired and won't be able to study well enough to pass no matter if I stay at dorms or commute. I am afraid of moving, I am afraid of classes, I am afraid of what comes after this all, I am afraid I won't last in this fast paced world, I am afraid and anxious about this all and wish I could just go back a few years so I'm still just a child that doesn't have to deal with the world yet. I'm just simply afraid and don't know how to deal with that. I can't wait for the future, yet I am so afraid of what comes next.
@wittyCar8428
It sounds quite dreadful to dislike doing so many things because of fear..
I'm wondering if these issues are going to harm your future as well.
Depending on just how severe this is.. talking to the college counselor could benefit you..
We're here to further support you, Good luck..🌲
@AsherTree
I am planning on reaching out to my college counsellor about this eventually. I try to not let this all affect my life too much, I feel hope and excitement for the future just as much as I fear it. I don't want to let it affect my life and want to work on that somehow
@wittyCar8428
You have reasurred me, at this moment I feel your going to meet these challenges. As long as this situation doesn't become cumbersome I think you'll get by ok. I'm sure they'll be up's and downs you'll have to deal with but you seem to have alot of heart, besides you contacted us! You are smart enough to reach out for support..🌲
@wittyCar8428 It seems like you are going through a lot lately, I am sorry it feels this way. You are so not childish for writing it here - in my view, it is such an adult behaviour to seek help and do not be afraid of that. Growing up sometimes does make you question each and every thing in your life, I am going through this myself, so I know what you mean. It might feel like everything just got wrong at the same time - but you can take just one step at a time and it will be more than enough.
I read your reply about reaching out a counsellor, if you’d like to share - how did it go? was it a hard decision for you?
