Stressed about school
Pretty much what the title says, I just started year 11 in the UK, and everything feels so overwhelming. I have school intervention from 3pm to 4pm every weekday now, and on top of that, my dad wants me to revise more. He wants another hour every weekday, and he makes me revise and take a test in front of him to prove that I studied. I feel like my mom and dad have too many expectations of me. They want a grade 9 in every subject I take (which is the highest grade), and didn't listen when I told them that's near impossible for an average person like me. They say that I promised them I would get these results, but I made that promise 4 years ago when I was afraid of them taking my phone away. When I try to reason with them, they just bulldoze over me and tell me that 'The only thing we want from you is grades'. My parents immigrated to this country so I could have a better life, and I'm grateful for that, but whatever they ask just feels like too much. I've started avoiding my dad because every interaction turns into a discussion about my studies.
They want me to be the best of the best, but I just want to be a regular guy with a social life, not cooped up indoors all day. I want to finish school and get an average job, with an average car and rent a house. I have online friends across the world too, and staying up to talk to them feels like my only freedom. I stay up late at night because it's the only time nobody bothers me. What should I do?
@thechiefhjojo
I'm sorry that you feel so pressured and that you cannot talk to your parents freely.
They want the best for you and sometimes we need that push to reach our full potential.
But it's equally ok to just give your best.
Your feelings and dreams are valid.
It feels like alot right now but trust me, I'm glad you have your online friends as an outlet , time will fly by so quick and dreams change 💛
@thechiefhjojo
It sounds really difficult to have your family constantly pressuring you to be the best. It's really good that you have an outlet like friends to cope with your stress. Honestly, I don't know your situation, and I don't want to give bad advice. What do you feel like might help, even a little? Is there anything with your parents you haven't tried yet, or does that feel like a closed door for you right now?
I haven't been able to think of anything that I could try with my parents. They want me to be the absolute best and I just want to be normal, so there's a conflict of interest that I don't think can really be resolved
@thechiefhjojo
It sounds like you’re under a lot of pressure, not only from school but also from your parents’ expectations. It must be exhausting to feel like your grades are the main thing they care about, while you also want to have a normal social life and some time for yourself. I can understand why staying up late feels like the only time you can have some freedom. What do you wish your parents understood about how all this pressure is affecting you?
@thechiefhjojo How do you feel now? After reading your post, I felt like it must be extremely overwhelming and painful, to not be appreciated for what you are already doing. Even if your parents want „better” for you - it is not the reason to dismiss your desires and feelings, they are all so important and valid. Do you think there is something that could change their minds?
No, I don't think anything rlly could change their minds. They don't just want me to be better than they were, they want me to be the best, and won't accept anything less than that. Thanks for understanding though, I appreciate it
