advice please 🙏

@dilemma27 You do not need to know your life path at 18 Most people change majors, interests, career goals, or entire directions multiple times. The students who seem “ahead” because they landed one internship are not guaranteed clarity or success long term. You still have time and it's okay to slow down. You shouldn't focus on your other peers' success.  while trying to develop your own.  You'll do just as great <3 

@dilemma27 It seems you're facing a lot of pressure and are comparing yourself to other students. I would firstly like to share that this is normal to feel and that you're not alone in this. These are issues many people face in your situation. I'm hearing that your high school is competitive, which makes it seem like students already having internships or research programs lined up closer to the end of high school is common. It seems like while you're just trying to get through exams, other students are one step ahead. Sometimes it is good to take things one step at a time, especially when faced with overwhelming or challenging situations.

It's not easy knowing what to do for the rest of your life. It's understandable to take time to discover what you really want to do in life. While some people seem to have their whole life figured out, many people really don't (even people who seem to have it figured out). Most times, choosing something to do next in life is done blindly because you are doing something you haven't done before. After graduating high school, you are removed from the routine you had for several years. You are left with endless possibilities of what to do in life, which can feel overwhelming. Sometimes it's good to take one step at a time, because we live in the present, not the past or future. We can make plans based on what we know now, and often times what we want to do changes over the course of life.

@dilemma27

@dilemma27
hey dilemma, welcome to the 7 cups, sounds like you are feeling overwhelmed watching your peers seem so certain about their future while you are still trying to figure out your own path. that uncertainty along with the pressure of college decisions, seems to be leaving you feel lost and anxious. Many people experience these feelings, even if that doesn't that way from the outside.
from what you have shared it seems that you are looking for clarity more then anything else. In my opinion clarity often comes from understanding yourself, your values strengths and what truly matters to you rather then comparing yourself to others or trying to explore every possible option.
You can check out some self reflection resources and values exercises that you might find useful.

@dilemma27

Hello! First, I want to say that you are very brave for reaching out for help. I can sense the overwhelm and stress from what you share, and it’s completely valid to feel that way. Comparing yourself with your friends and peers after seeing how they seem to “know what they want” can make you feel insecure and frustrated for not being the same way. Not knowing where you want to apply and want to do with your life is perfectly fine. You’re still young and don’t need all the answers now. I hope you take things slowly and give yourself the kindness you deserve. You got this, and good luck in your studies!

Hi! I'm also a rising senior, so I can understand the stress. One thing that helped me was remembering that there isn't one "right" path to college or a career.

My mom took a pretty unconventional path. She started at community college, transferred to Cal Poly Pomona, and changed her major five times before eventually deciding on kinesiology. She worked really hard during undergrad and was eventually accepted into USC for PT school. Now, she is a home health physical therapist and has a stable career.

I'm not a big quote person, but one that really stuck with me is, “A thought spent on comparison is a thought wasted on improvement.” Comparing ourselves requires a lot of energy and leaves us with less to invest in ourselves. Since we’re seniors, I also think it’s important to recognize what we can and can’t change. We can't go back and redo things we had done differently, but we can start focusing on exploring different career fields and finding colleges that are a good fit. Even if it doesn't feel as significant as getting an internship or joining a research program, I'm sure you've grown in ways that you might be overlooking. Maybe you've improved in a difficult subject or learned a new hobby. Those things still count!

As for choosing colleges, it can help to think about what you're looking for and which factors are most important to you. One thing that narrowed things down for me was deciding if I wanted to apply in state, out of state, or study abroad. Other things you could consider are campus environment, family budget for college, clubs and student organizations, diversity, Greek life, arts/athletics programs, and what degrees you want to pursue.

Prestigious colleges definitely have their benefits, but every college has different strengths. A school that is highly ranked overall might not be the best fit for the major or career you're interested in. If you're consider graduate school, saving money on your undergraduate degree could also give you more flexibility later.

Ultimately, it’s okay not to have everything figured out. School aside, being a teenager isn’t easy. There are hormones to deal with, relationships with family and friends, body image, and so much more. The fact that you care about your future already puts you on a path toward success. You're making progress, and I think you should be proud of how far you've come!