Nicotine
Unfortunately I’ve reached a point of financial struggle where I’m having to choose between my addiction to nicotine and necessities like food, bills and/or gas for the car. I never thought it would come to this point, but I also never expected the lengths to which my addiction would fight for its continuation to be this strong. For the past four days I have been going through nicotine cravings that could only originate in the depths of ***. I can’t focus on tasks, and that’s assuming that I can find the motivation to do anything at all. I’m behind on my schoolwork, my home is starting to become cluttered and messy; and I’m noticing a lingering smell coming from places. All I want is a Zyn, a cigarette, a dip of chew, nicotine gum, a patch, ANYTHING to satisfy this cravings I’m having; I just want this itching feeling like I’m hungry or thirsty or tired. I have moments where it’s all I can focus on. My addiction to nicotine is the strongest addiction I’ve experienced in my life, if I had a time machine, I’d go back to when I was eighteen and had my first cigarette because my ex-wife had started smoking, and I wanted to “see what it was all about.” I would stop myself from ever smoking that first cigarette. If I had a time machine I would go back and stop myself from ever trying cigars. I would remind myself that all I was doing was signing my body up for a lifelong subscription of nicotine addiction. I would stop myself from being bound to a substance. I was able to stop alcohol and am two years sober, however I’ve been trying to quit smoking for the past twelve years and it’s winning.
@RickestRick86 I'm so sorry that you're feeling the way you do and have hit the point you have to choose between 🚬 or taking care of the necessities of life. I bet when you really sit and think about it-- you know what the responsible choice should be. But even with knowing, it doesn't make it any easier. On the positive side, it's just a thought. You have not yet acted on your "addiction" and thoughts and this let's me believe that there is hope. Channel on that.
Statements like "My addiction to nicotine is the strongest addiction I’ve experienced in my life..." gives power to these words. Can you maybe find other powerful words about you and not about nicotine addiction? I don't know no where of all the things you may have experienced in life, but I have no doubt that you have it in you to overcome it all. You did it with alcohol and that's freakin' gigantic! That's a big big accomplishment and win. I'm rooting for you for the same when it comes to nicotine addiction.
Here is where I will be honest with you. This is the part where I may sound like a hypocrite simply because I'm trying to offer support but, in reality, I have no idea what it's like to be on the addiction side. I'm "predisposed" to drugs/alcohol. It's all I seen from my parents and I see how it did them. Because of that, it was what made me steer away from it. For you, you said it was 18 trying 🚬 for the first time with your ex. For me, I was 12-13 years old with my cousin. That one exposure of actually taking it in was enough to never "try" it again. That's why of everything I ever gone through, my mental strength was one I prided myself in. I share all this to say this... really think.
@RickestRick86 Are you sure it's really nicotine that is your addiction? Or could it be the way you feel after 🚬? When you get these urges to smoke, then quit, or smoke again, and go through the cycle-- are you aware of what's going on in your life? Are you experiencing stress or anxiety? I don't know. I don't know about nicotine. I googled it for you and how long it says in your system and blood. So I'm wondering if it could be more than just 🚬. Just thinking and throwing things out here.
At the end of the day, you have to live with the choices you make. And your choices may affect or indirectly affect those people closest to you that you love. I know you're strong! I've read posts by you to see it and I just want to encourage you. I believe you know what you have to do. I believe making this post and reaching for support was so brave of you and I'm proud of you. I'm just Desiree over here rooting for you. I believe in you.
@RickestRick86 I felt it on my heart to revisit your post and let you know you and your family are in my thoughts. I hope that today was one of those days you made it through. I hope you are doing ok. Take care. 🌟
I’m doing better today. My wife got her paycheck today, so I was able to get some Nicotine Replacement Therapy stuffs. Thank you so much for your support. I truly appreciate it.