Struggling with addiction and guilt
I am a 25 year old male, I am struggling with addiction to nudity(not craving porn). I use *** and numerous apps to get *** of girls and collect them. I have been doing this for the past 4 years and I think the reason I do this is because I am an introvert and have a very low self esteem and I am not able to talk to girls and have very low confidence. I talk to stranger girls on *** and pretend to be someone else by lying about my age and location and try to get *** from them, lately I have been feeling very *** about it and wanna end this but I am not able to do it I am very addicted to this and yes this definitely is affecting my personal life, infact I have no social life, I have friends but noone that I can call a best friend. I am worried that I am never going to fall in love, I have never fallen in love with anyone in my life(not that I can think of), it has always been lust and attraction no real connection.
I dont know what to do anymore I really need help and I feel guilt all the time!
@littleNerd1997
You started something that became addictive and stopping takes facing what did you get out of this experience besides photos or whatever ...
you lied about who you were / are tricked some one most likely lonely and vulnerable too to do that.... and if they found out your truth .... you would be seen as a pervert or creepy... Of course a normal person would feel guilt ..... stopping cold turkey and maybe even telling your prey what you did... would be you facing rock bottom.
i think you need to work on YOU for a while before worrying about friends because most people would not like to know what you have been up to. but once you find your way out of this you will be in a better frame of mind to meet people.
Why do you do it because you find the other people attractive i’ve found out my partner is an addict and i have such low self esteem atm.
@littleNerd1997
In reply to.....Struggling with guilt.....
Your addiction to nudity appears to be borne out of isolation, loneliness and a deep desire to have people share intimate parts of their lives with you....Just as would happen in a relationship.
Unfortunately. Deep underneath, you already know this is an activity that merely sates a desire and nothing more can ever come of it.
Resorting to lies to acquire these photos means you a now willing to go a deeper level as the addiction becomes more intense.
The deceit. The desire. The very brief thrill. Soon. You're going to get into trouble.
Lies are a bad start to any form of relationship, whether it be personal or otherwise because the trust becomes permanently broken.
There's no easy way to deal with this....Just stop what you are doing today.
Some counselling may help to address your feelings of loneliness and self-imposed isolation.
You lack the self-confidence to meet new people, perhaps due to your own past experiences and this became further entrenched as part of your life's journey.
It's the personal feeling....The intimacy you crave....As if the photos are just for you....This defines your real and deeper addiction because it is those things in life you really desire but feel you cannot achieve.
They represent a feeling of being special and unique....Something that pornography doesn't do as porn is more for entertainment of a sexual nature....A sexual thrill that cannot be achieved for many therefore using porn as a medium for the lack of sexual adventure in their lives.
Pornography is very addictive and takes over many lives.
However. Your addiction is about the intimacy and personal, special contact and it is specifically that in itself which underlies your real addiction - rather than it just being about nudity.
Look at ways to grow and develop your confidence by getting out more and trying new activities.
Focus on the counselling and use the sessions to address your feelings with regard to your loneliness and the isolation you experience.
Exploring your need for personal validation (by receiving these intmate photos) will help you to understand deeper as to why you are doing this.
In hopefully a short time, you'll realize this isn't a lifestyle that'll work for you.
There's a risk of hurting others, a risk of hurting yourself.....One important aspect of any relationship (of any kind) is the avoidance of anyone getting hurt.
Paul........
@littleNerd1997
I am inviting you to join me int Sharing Circle chat room ! 😊
@littleNerd1997 I'm sorry to hear about your challenges. It's a positive step that you're acknowledging your struggles and seeking help.
Meanwhile, delete (permanently) such data/pictures/videos you have. Delete all such accounts or web browser's history.
Most importantly, avoid such situations or feelings that make you do that. Go out, even for a long walk. I don't know about your religious beliefs, but you can try to get connected to the GOD and seek repentance. You will find peace in your personality. But therapy is a must.
@littleNerd1997 I agree with the other comments. Loneliness and maybe boredom are probably what brought you to this point so I think that investing time in your hobbies and things you like, try new hobbies, meditation, sports, and working on yourself can be an improvment for your self esteem and heal you, and distance you from your addiction.
Recongnizing this is very strong of you, It is the first step and you already did it. Knowing that you want to stop is the second step. Looking for help is the third. So, you are already starting your path, and step by step you will heal and be a better version of yourself. It may be difficult but never forget that a little step is better than nothing. Keep motivation and work to love yourself as you are. Your mistakes/addictions don't define you, but the way you deal with them may give you a better life.
Maybe just talking to people online about other things even here about your problem i would say it's a good start with honesty with yourself and others. Reveal your true self.
I wish you the best. Good luck :)
