struggling with drugs and life
I have struggled with drugs for 15 years , it started with weed, than pills, than, cocaine , and now im still dabing in cocaine and smoking but , smoking helps me cope with life, and cocaine helps me forget and just be numb , i have a hard time dealing with life and accepting that thngs will get better, i know i need councling and im scared to take that step because i feel like my mind will not let me !!!!
thank you for listening
moved from Daily Check in to Drug Addiction by Forum Mentor @JovialOne
@carefulCurrent8337
What would help look like for you? Ideally.
@UntilThen I dont know thats what i need to figure i dont know how to get help i just know i need it for my mind and body , i cant control my mind for some reason and i suffer from clinical depression so its hard to decide what is right for me or wrong
@carefulCurrent8337
I see, taking the first step into recovery is always a difficult one. Maybe for you the first step could be working on that feeling of being out of control. Do you have any access to therapy? I can show you some other kinds of options if money is an issue.
@carefulCurrent8337 Hello there and welcome to addiction support. Thank you so much for sharing your story and for reaching out for help. We're here glad you're here and we're here to support you. You're not alone in fighting this battle <3
Addiction can be an especially difficult thing to kick because, as you said, it's a way of coping and numbing yourself. When you've been doing it for a long time, it kind of becomes your new reality and your brain will do everything it can to stop you from breaking free from the new reality that drugs have created for you.
It's completely understandable why you'd be having a hard time accepting that things can change for the better. Recovery isn't an easy thing and it takes work and dedication to get there. It can be scary to think of stepping out of what's been your life for many years and learn how to live differently.
It sounds like you're very insightful though and you have a good idea of steps you need to take to help yourself. That's a good thing and shows a lot of strength and courage. Reaching out for help on here is a great first step forward on your journey. The next thing to do by the sounds of it is to make that next step of reaching out for professional help.
Have you ever tried reaching out to a counselor for help? Do you know of any local resources or support groups that are available to you? A family doctor may also be able to help with getting you referred to an addiction counselor.
@VinylFly no i have never tryed to get help , i have never seen a counsler therapist nothing
my boyfriend of 6 years recently came clean about his use. he said the past two months hes been using less than 1/2 a gram of meth a day. im nervous because i dont know what to expect when he detoxes. he hasnt had anything for over 24 hours and is doing well so far. can anyone help me understand what detox will be like? online ive read many things but thats all for heavy users.
@goldenStrings2698
He may become very irritable and grumpy, just remember not to take anything he says personal. Stay strong, you got this!
@Averyisheretohelp thank you! im hoping since he weined himself a little that maybe it wont be so bad. everything online is for heavy users.
@carefulCurrent8337
I would say that the first step is acknowledging that you need help, so this is a great start! You can do this!
@Averyisheretohelp thank you i am tryng
@carefulCurrent8337 sorry to hear your struggling I'm going through sometthing similar with a relapse but I'm not going to let it beat me you shouldn't either keep going get some help stay strong xx
@Dazzle87 its so f#cking hard , i suffer from clinical depression so it just makes it even tougher to decide what is right and wrong for me because i am already battling myself in my head
Hi careful,
I don't understand addiction that much because I've never have been through it or know that someone has been but I can tell you your not on your own as if you were on your own, no one would be here for you and willing to help.
Can I ask, when did you start having a form of addiction? Tell me how it happened and when it started? There must of been a time you felt ok before this.
The depression may or may not have anything to do with it. You can't be sure. It's whether if you know the addiction follows through after. It maybe you might have this also because you found that it helps you cope and feel less worried. This can be different for everyone.
It's not easy which I understand. However, you need to remember that this is a slow process and how you feel will make you do what your mind tells you and only way to change that is to do something about it but it has to come from you and times you will feel you need it and won't but that's ok cuz your trying and your still trying to find a way. You got to try anything to see improvement. I know you might be feeling I really can't do it only remember the person you are, what your positives and what are your negatives and ask yourself is it other people around you what helps you daily or is it just being there for you only get you feeling yourself again. If you can try and explore this. There are places who can help, call centres who are willing to listen and offer you advice or organisations who can put you in touch with group support classes whether they think you benefit from that more.
Just keep trying and keep reaching out to us.
Hope that helps
@TreaureSeekers3 , thank you so much for telling this it does help, i started doing drugs when i was 12 it was just smoking weed and drinking , and i did it because i wanted something that would keep me calm and make me not think about all the abuse i was going through and that helped , but the drinking also made me more angry and upset sad , emotional when i did think about these awful events that happen to me , well when by the time i was 15 my brother had passed away he was 20 when he died ,and i got on cocaine really bad for about 8 years , within those 8 years i had a boyfriend that was really abusive to me so i was really heavy on cocaine because in my head it numbed my pain and i was a heavy drinker , well by the time i was 25 I had stopped and became clean i chose to live , i got away from my abuser , but i was back at my moms, and my stepdad also did awful things to me , and now im 27 , i have almost got all the way back on my feet , im just waiting to get a place , but i eneded up withdrawl after being clen for 2 years because i got back in my depression stage really bad hit rock bottom and now im trying to fix myself
I suffered from really bad bad depression , i still do to this day , i have cut myself before within the 15 years ive been dealing with this , i have a couple of cuts on my leg and my wrist is cut , i dont like to tell people theses things ,but its really hard for me to cope with life , i fight everyday to stay alive because the thoughts in my head make me think that i dont deservwe to be here ,so its more than just drugs
I guess I just really need help with , my drug problem and i need help with my mental disorder because i feel like im going crazy in my head, I just want to get out of the dark room and go to the light im tired of battling myself , i really am guys im tired of being my own worst enemy , i just want to be free
@carefulCurrent8337, I just want you to know that recovery is possible. I had a very bad addiction too, and it was the hardest thing I ever did, ut I got clean. after almost 10 years clean, I relapsed for a couple months, but I stopped again, and it's been almost 4 years now.
the most important thing to remember is that a relapse is not a failure - it is a temporary thing, and all you have to do is start over! it doesn't mean you are weak or worthless or stupid - it just means you are human.
hang in there, friend - you got this, and you can do it! I am praying for you.
@fatmousiegirl thank you so much
@careful current I know it hasn't been easy and you have seemed to have suffered alot over the years. I'm glad your dealing with this problem and looking for help. Any help would be great. Does anything inspire you? What you looking for towards the future? Have you got any goals? Now it's a new year maybe you can planning what you want and where you want your life to be. Maybe start with a journal and put your feelings and thoughts down everyday and read through and see if anything you pick up on makes sense and if you can challenge that. Have you looked into something like CBT? I'm starting it up and heard good stuff. CBT is a kind of therapy what looks into your way of thinking and behaviour with how you respond to certain situations when a negative thought comes in your head to see how you deal with it and if it's the right approach what's helping you or it's not. Works alot with you and your mind. Where do you live? There maybe some numbers you can ring in your country to help you get counselling. It's up to you. Just an idea but look forward to hearing from you soon and please keep in touch and take each day as it is.
It's important you talk to someone. Whoever that is. Were always here and you know you can talk to us anytime but remember there are people who can help you also.
thanks you guys I am going to look into and see who can help me far as with counsling and therapy , thanks for all the support