Needing input
I feel anxious around these individuals. Especially around my “friend” Jane. I’ll say Jane, started off kind and continues to be kind. But, to me it seems like an act, or she has a double side. I always hear about, people saying the moment, they realized someone was a wolf in sheep’s clothing if not a witch in disguise at church and I believe this is the case for her. I feel so suffocated, at this place with clueless people, breathing down my neck. Among other individuals, being in appropriate or just plain stupid. What I hate most, is that I keep running into them outside of church and they almost force their nature onto me. Rushing over to hug and kiss me on the cheek, etc. Can’t stand these people! Or the fact, that I either find overbearing people, or extremely cold people. What’s the alternative! Being lonely. Please I have no one, to speak speak to. My family is emotionally distant. I’ve already spoken, to some people about this, but I think, I need to have one final conversation fully renouncing and distancing myself from the church and everyone. And going back to my friend Jane, she’s made I’ll times jokes in the past. Like one comment, about not caring if someone were to join a satanic church. And she’s, also a prominent member and worker for this church. Last, that I spoke to her, was a message as she, was in the hospital due to needing bed rest for her pregnancy. She did, thank me and say with “god nothing is impossible.” I truly hope, she’s changed but I can’t ignore certain things. Like her eyes. Especially when, feigning affection, towards the child of another member. More so, making an insensitive comment regarding my dog and a neighbor’s small son, kicking my dog. Feigned concern, until making a joke less than a minute later. Never apologizing nor trying to make things right. This, church is composed of mostly Spanish speakers, and I would volunteer there. And many, upon knowing my background and hearing me speak Spanish choose to overstep and force their overbearing nature onto me. With the inappropriate greetings, being too friendly, etc. I get it many people, don’t get it, I feel uncomfortable but all the times, I’ve felt uncomfortable just ask, “are you okay?” And continue to do it
@secretFriend2402
Sometimes people just don't get it.
Stick to your own personal boundaries and never feel any guilt for doing so, regardless of people's opinions 💛
Thanks. It’s not just my inution. But I’ve, had encounters and had to speak to the pastors about it. I feel conflicted, as if I’m overthinking and am thankful the pastors stepped in, when I spoke to them. But, that man was beyond creepy and still lurks around. The fact, a room of people, didn’t blink an eye, expect for the lady next to me, wanting me to translate the gossip. Overall, other people I don’t feel well around. My own, parents never reassured about my own concerns, etc and lanauge barriers. While my sister and I, needed to step up and speak for them due to it. It’s hard, and makes you not only question your sanity at times but frustrated nonetheless. Many, members there remind me of my parents due to this. And I have already spoken, to a member or two explaining my absence. But sometimes, attended here and there. To sum it, I feel like cutting off completely due to my, own feelings