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secretFriend2402
9 58,744 M Confident Walk 6
PathStep 24 Compassion hearts7,009 Forum posts145 Forum upvotes293 Current upvotes293 Age GroupAdult Last activeSeptember, 2026 Member sinceJune 28, 2021
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He’s coming very soon ✝️🙏🏼🤍

Recent forum posts
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Needing input
The Church Cares / by secretFriend2402
Last post
 August 20th
...See more I feel anxious around these individuals. Especially around my “friend” Jane. I’ll say Jane, started off kind and continues to be kind. But, to me it seems like an act, or she has a double side. I always hear about, people saying the moment, they realized someone was a wolf in sheep’s clothing if not a witch in disguise at church and I believe this is the case for her. I feel so suffocated, at this place with clueless people, breathing down my neck. Among other individuals, being in appropriate or just plain stupid. What I hate most, is that I keep running into them outside of church and they almost force their nature onto me. Rushing over to hug and kiss me on the cheek, etc. Can’t stand these people! Or the fact, that I either find overbearing people, or extremely cold people. What’s the alternative! Being lonely. Please I have no one, to speak speak to. My family is emotionally distant. I’ve already spoken, to some people about this, but I think, I need to have one final conversation fully renouncing and distancing myself from the church and everyone. And going back to my friend Jane, she’s made I’ll times jokes in the past. Like one comment, about not caring if someone were to join a satanic church. And she’s, also a prominent member and worker for this church. Last, that I spoke to her, was a message as she, was in the hospital due to needing bed rest for her pregnancy. She did, thank me and say with “god nothing is impossible.” I truly hope, she’s changed but I can’t ignore certain things. Like her eyes. Especially when, feigning affection, towards the child of another member. More so, making an insensitive comment regarding my dog and a neighbor’s small son, kicking my dog. Feigned concern, until making a joke less than a minute later. Never apologizing nor trying to make things right. This, church is composed of mostly Spanish speakers, and I would volunteer there. And many, upon knowing my background and hearing me speak Spanish choose to overstep and force their overbearing nature onto me. With the inappropriate greetings, being too friendly, etc. I get it many people, don’t get it, I feel uncomfortable but all the times, I’ve felt uncomfortable just ask, “are you okay?” And continue to do it
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Just a rant
The Church Cares / by secretFriend2402
Last post
 August 9th
...See more I’m exhausted…. Slowly cutting out some people. Feel awful for letting things get, to far with someone I didn’t know too well. But things, just got carried away. Before this, I barely had much interactions with guys, aside from platonic settings. I know, we are to be pure. And this was prior, to me being convicted by the Holy Spirit and coming to faith. But, I need balance. I want to date, but can’t get out of my head, how far to go and not. I’m too scared, I’m too withdrawn. Easily convinced to go farther. Even, when I may regret it later on. What should I wear? I’ve been dressing more modestly and feel not only more comfortable. But, i get scared if I can’t stick to it, does it also mean I can’t too concerned with fashion. I’ve always loved fashion, styling an outfit. Looking at books, and prints. Am I too worldly? Where’s the limit? Sorry it’s more of a rant. But I like, to make these from time to time. My faith has brought me much clarity. But it’s good, to come across like minded people, whom can understand.
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Rant
The Church Cares / by secretFriend2402
Last post
 July 18th
...See more Why are some people so, angry and emotionally abusive towards others. Before, coming to faith, I’ve encountered the most anger from certain people. I know, I need to forgive, but it’s hard when I’m overcome by the awful things they’ve said, the belittling, etc. I really hope, to live on my own one day. But how can I? When my family is helpless. So many thing I can say, I’d rather not. Too much mental strife. Pills and miserable therapists aren’t going to fix it. Truly felt like most, of those therapists not only made me feel worse but lacked joy in their lives. It’s been a few years, I’ve gotten physically better and mentally better. But as much, as I was pushed to get help and whatnot. My problem was I couldn’t stay awake and alert. Just fatigue that’s it. Truly think, we are run by fools or miserable souls. Poor miserable soul, who can not see the truth. Please pray, my energy levels can get better so, that I can move out and live on my own. More so, for my family to respect my choices and let me be and learn to live on their own like many other parents with adults should. Not force, their children to be their, caretakers without need. To learn, the language not allow relatives to belittle them.
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Expressing my exhaustion (choppy)
Friendship Support / by secretFriend2402
Last post
 April 20th
...See more Not sure where to go. Came here. Can’t breathe normally. So it affects me. I just need to express myself. I can’t have a normal life, my parents are very oblivious, my elder sister resents me; those who are supposed to be my friends just always say the worst things. Who isn’t, mean or just oblivious? Can a person be wise and kind at the same time? I just want, my awful mother to leave me alone! Because right now, I struggle to steady my breathe. Little stuff, strains me physically and thus emotionally. Overall, I just feel like shouting and would love for someone to say it! “Please get, away, I don’t like you, or just no!” Nothing in another language. I’m exhausted and no one listens or can help me. And this come out choppy, as I struggle to control my breathing but need to express myself. Overall, I can’t help but be overcome by painful recent memories. And fear, running into them, I just want to scream get away or you are an awful person! Truly I don’t want to be Christian! It hasn’t helped me, but prevented me from asserting boundaries, when I needed someone to tell me it’s “okay to take a break,” how can one say to someone, he who doesn’t work, doesn’t eat!” I haven’t worked for a year, but still feel exhausted!” Tell me that! i don’t want to deal anymore with pushy people nor with foolish ones. I’ve exhausted myself, beyond repair, and want to scream for it to stop. The exhaustion and inability to be normal. Because that sleep and rest will never come; he’s not there.
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Exhausted
The Church Cares / by secretFriend2402
Last post
 March 14th
...See more Where do I begin. Raised all my life, Catholic. But have become born again in my faith, since accepting our lord Jesus Christ. So, many things are becoming clearer. But I feel so appalled for, some trying to drag me back into deception. Already exhibiting depression, I tried hiding my failing mental state. Because, my family is very set in their ways and I knew they wouldn’t allow me to grow. Seven years later, and what I’m still translating for them. I hate speaking Spanish. I hate having to learn more false idols, than of our lord. Looking back, it seems many of us, have been taught to idolize even our culture above him. I can’t stay awake for too long, so I have to settle for the nearby church. Yes, I hold many people there dear. But I really wish and need to find a sound church. Not, one we I need to once again go back and forth between two languages. Alright, I need to learn more about him and his teachings. No I want to. I don’t want to hear anything about things, unrelated to him at church. More so, I know as learn more of his word, the path will become clearer too, which will bring much relief. So many people, forcing and have forced me against my will; to partake in things against the lord. I don’t want to ever encounter them again. I can endure being screamed at, mocked and scoffed; but don’t let me deceived again. You pulled me out in time; but I fear encountering some of these individuals. What if I can’t forgive them for their nastiness or follow suit in their paths. While, it’s awful being left to rot as a guinea pig. I would do it all again; if the alternative kept away from the truth. My pain doesn’t seem so strong compared his on the cross. And lord I need you, to just sit in your presence now.
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Tired 😪
Motivation & Accountability / by secretFriend2402
Last post
 February 23rd
...See more I’m sick of needing to be patient with others. But also myself, I suffer with all these things, that cause me stress. What good, has being patient gotten me. Looking back, there are times, I wish I could have screamed at some people. Those times, I did speak up not scream but say what was on my mind; others acted cowardly and tried to deny their wrongs. While, I admit, I should have kept some unkind, vulgar words to myself, I don’t think it was wrong to tell the truth. I’ve never gotten violent with others and have repented so many times for wrong doings; even trying to get along and apologize to people, I don’t even like. It hasn’t been enough, I am still exhausted and unable to function. I’m 27, unable to be do so many things without getting exhausted. I want shout “don’t you think, I’m exhausted too!” “You keep complaining about everything, but atleast you have your health and don’t tire and zone out. No I don’t miss, that friend nor that one. Seem to have made new friends and found support in women’s ministry. While, I don’t go to church, maybe at times. My faith has grown but I cry out “why am I still in so much pain,” just a question. 🤍
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Wuthering heights 1939
TV & Movies / by secretFriend2402
Last post
 February 18th
...See more Just finished watching the first wuthering heights. As toxic as, they both are. Can’t help but think, how devoid we’ve of emotion we (mostly me), can be. I’m gonna head back, to wallowing 🫠 * https://youtube.com/watch?v=3EAbYjIGNGw&si=cD7V88fGLSBF6UX5
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Please grant me this father
General Support / by secretFriend2402
Last post
 December 26th, 2025
...See more All I need is peace I think. Due to my faith, I know our father decides in the end. Doesn’t matter anymore what others say about me nor even to me. Nor, mending things or cleaning my name. Don’t need justification for wrongdoings nor any apologies. But please, those who refuse to leave me alone, please just stay away. I hope to forgive maybe not forget but move on. But this just a hope. And I won’t wish anyone ill anymore or atleast try not to.
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