Am i wrong about feeling this way
I have been experiencing deppression for some time now but i put on a smile in front of my family as the perfect good daughter but i feel nothing towards life or goals i don't feel the drive to achieve my dreams i feel like i failed but even after that i still try to get out of this cycle by trying harder in uni after i got into medicine my grades got worse due to my mental health issues but this year i tried beating the cycle and actually trying i still procrastinate and mess up but i try and even though it's not perfect i think i improved truth be told i don't feel that happy towards those wins but i try to celebrate them however my mother tells me to try more to look for scholarships abroad i did get one but i rejected it a years ago because it didn't match with what i wanted eversince my mom has been anxious telling me to try harder to be the first like i was before to be more like my little sister and to try truth to be told i love my mom so much and i tried telling her i m not well and that i m feeling a detachment towards life feelingless but she said it's because i m living a good life if i was poor i wouldn't have time to think about being deppressed she doesn't believe in mental illnesses and says i m just feeling disappointed in myself for not doing well in uni so i stopped talking i don't know why i thought this time would be different but i didn't cry or react i simply stood silent i know i won't probably be opening up for a loooong time but am i wrong for feeling this way ?i have no reason to be like this she is right and i have a good life too but i can't help it i really can't what would it take to find someone who d just listen for once and guide me
@wisteria28 that sucks. Hope you feel better soon 👍🏼.
Sorry, i’m bad at giving support :(
It's alright your kind wishes are enough for me thank you 😊
@wisteria28 Thank you for opening up and sharing something so personal. What you’re feeling is not wrong at all; it’s deeply human. Even if life on the outside seems “good,” your emotions are valid. Depression doesn’t care how much someone has or doesn’t have. It affects people for many reasons, and sometimes for no obvious reason at all. The pain you’re carrying is real, and just because others don’t see it or understand it, doesn’t make it any less important.
It sounds like you’re trying so hard to push through school, to meet expectations, to keep showing up even when you feel empty inside. That’s not failure. That’s strength, even if it doesn’t feel like it. The fact that you keep trying to get out of that cycle, that you still try to celebrate small wins, even without joy, that says a lot about your resilience.
And it hurts when someone you love, especially your mom, doesn’t understand what you’re going through. You tried to open up and got shut down, and I can imagine how heavy that silence must feel. No, you are not wrong for needing support or for feeling what you're feeling. Wanting to be heard, to not have to pretend all the time, that’s a basic need, not a weakness.
If no one else has said this to you lately, you matter. You're not alone in this. And just by speaking your truth here, you’ve taken a huge, powerful step forward. If you’d like, I’m here to keep listening. No judgment. No "you shoulds." Just space for you.
Thank you so much your words came in a moment where I was feeling really anxious and self blaming however it feels lighter now eversince I got into this community I ve been told things like I matter and I m important more than i did in my entire life i ve never honestly felt important to anyone unlike my sister i m not likeable or naturally wins friends and people's hearts and there was a moment when i was a child when an adult (who had a problem with my parents) told me something like that though i didn't believe it i couldn't help but admit it was right but hearing those comforting words even if they are from strangers i don't even know make me feel like crying whenever i hear them thank you