CLOSED AMA with Therapist Ashley Flewellan

@amusingPerson1883 Hello! I am happy to answer your question.

Hi, I would like to know how can we differentiate between fear triggered by past trauma and actual thoughts/facts? Thank you.

Great question! Fear from past trauma is often emotional and automatic, triggered by past experiences, while actual thoughts/facts are based on present reality and evidence. A good way to differentiate is to ask: Is there concrete evidence for this fear, or is it a reaction to something that reminds me of the past? Mindfulness and self-reflection can help in distinguishing the two.

@Tracey Hello! I am happy to answer your question.

What are some steps to take to start me on my healing process from a mental and verbal abusive ex husband?

I'm sorry you're going through this. Healing takes time, but some first steps include setting boundaries, seeking therapy or support groups, practicing self-care, and surrounding yourself with positive influences. 

@understandingTree5725 Hello! I am happy to answer your question. 

How do you speak out about your mental health struggles with someone close and when do you decide that it's time when dating or meeting someone new?

Being open about your mental health is a personal choice. With close ones, choose a calm moment and express your feelings honestly. In dating, share when trust is built and you feel safe. The right person will listen with understanding.

@priscella Hi! I am happy to answer your question.

How can someone with bpd learn to not get so attached to people easily?

Building healthy attachments takes practice. Focus on self-awareness, set emotional boundaries, and develop a strong sense of self outside of relationships. Therapy, mindfulness, and coping strategies can help manage intense emotions.

@Warmheartedmango3898 Hi! I am happy to answer your question.

Im an Older individual that has realized im on the autistic spectrum. Im currently a journey of getting formally diagnosed. Surprisingly its has proven to be more complicated and costly then I had predicted. my motivation was to justify my challenges to myself and to others. My question is when would it really be appropriate to share this information with family, friends, work colleagues… despite my initial desire just picturing myself sharing this with most people now seems actually inappropriate and uncomfortable.

Thank you for sharing your experience. It's understandable that this journey can feel overwhelming, both personally and socially. Deciding when to share this information is a deeply personal choice, and it's okay to take your time. You might choose to share it with people who are supportive and understanding when you feel ready. It's important to prioritize your comfort and emotional well-being throughout this process. If you ever need someone to talk to or guidance along the way, feel free to reach out.

@hardworkingNest6491 Hello! Thanks for reaching out. I am happy to answer your question.

How do I survive student life and school stress.How do I control my anger issues and stop harming my self to vent our emotions. How do I  not unconsciously suppress negative emotions. HOW DO I STOP SEEKING ATTENTION. How do I  stop feeling envious of all my friends.

These are really important questions, and I appreciate you sharing them. Navigating student life and stress can be tough, but building healthy coping strategies—like time management, self-care, and seeking support—can make a big difference.

For anger and self-harm, it’s important to find safer outlets for your emotions, like journaling, deep breathing, or talking to someone you trust. Suppressing emotions can happen without us realizing it, but practicing self-awareness and allowing yourself to process feelings in a safe space can help.

Seeking attention often comes from a deeper need for connection or validation—it's important to explore what’s underneath that and find ways to meet those needs in a way that feels healthy. And envy is natural, but shifting focus to gratitude and self-compassion can help you feel more content with your own journey.

Hi! I am happy to answer your question.

@Aurastorm What psychological strategies can help cultivate hope and resilience, and mental strength while witnessing ongoing suffering?

A few key strategies include practicing mindfulness to stay grounded, focusing on what you can control, engaging in acts of kindness, seeking social support, and reframing challenges as opportunities for growth. Setting small, meaningful goals and maintaining a sense of purpose can also help build resilience and mental strength.

Hi! I am happy to answer your question.

@unicornqueen89 How do I become financially independent with limited college education because I need to get away from home?

Focus on high-income skill development, such as tech support, sales, or skilled trades. Gain experience through apprenticeships, certifications, or freelancing. Work multiple jobs if needed, save aggressively, and build credit. Look for affordable housing options and network for better opportunities. Financial independence starts with steady income, smart budgeting, and strategic career moves.

 Get your questions in before 7PM EDT Friday 3-28. That is today!

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@NobleSeeker Hi! I am happy to answer your question.

Hello. when you have a great yearning for adventure but can't do much about it; how to fulfill this wanting? How can cope with it? what coping skill/habit will help to calm this adventures spirit? is it normal? will ever feel fulfilled? What helps? Thank you.

Your yearning for adventure is completely normal—it reflects curiosity and a deep desire for growth. When big adventures aren’t possible, channel that spirit into small, everyday explorations: try new hobbies, take different routes, immerse yourself in books, films, or learning about new places. Setting future travel goals, even if distant, can provide excitement and motivation. Fulfillment comes from embracing both big and small adventures while appreciating the present moment.