Ending a 5 year relationship
I know before I start this thread that nobody is going to give me the answer but me.... But, how do you know when it is time to end a relationship? I feel like that might be the age old question but got me, I feel so down and unhappy all of the time. In fact, I haven't been happy in years. I no longer get excited by life.. Nothing about our potential future together gets me excited and i know this could be either down to depression or actually unhappiness with my boyfriend...
Ive told him already I'm unhappy and unsure but he still holds on tight to me. I just, don't feel that enthusiastic about anything to do with our relationship (including physical) anymore and haven't for a long time.
I've put on a lot of weight too... I'm basically eating my troubles away.
I wish someone I know would recognise I'm struggling but maybe it's only me that can decide that.
I dunno.. Any help would be nice anyways. Thanks guys
@BeeOKay I am sorry you are feeling so unhappy. That must be so difficult to continue on in that relationship.
I think one of the aha moments in my life was when I realized that my happiness was not going to come from another person. I had to find it in myself. I had to look at what I wanted to do in life, I volunteered and helped other people and surprisingly I helped myself.
I had to do daily exercise, cut out junk food, eat more protein and veggies and less carbs. I started a gratitude journal. My first entry was I am alive. I can breathe. I have food. It took off from there. If you want to post on the gratitude post, it is here https://www.7cups.com/forum/therapy/ReflectionCorner_2175/TheGratitudeProjectList3ThingsThatYouAreGratefulFor_243106/
I started posting in replies to other people and found they liked it and they felt better and I felt better. Your way may be different but it takes a change of attitude.
Notice I have not mentioned your relationship. I do not think that is the problem, but your own situation that you can work on. After you start a road to well being, then you can look at the relationship and see if you can work around it.
It sounds like the person depends on you for their sense of happiness. Do they ever abuse you physically, mentally or emotionally? Do they try to make you feel worthless and beholden to them? If so you have what might develop into a serious problem and should seek professional help.
If not, you may just have a needy partner. Make a list of everything you have due to being in this relationship. One side for the positive benefits and one side for the negative results and how that affects you.
sometimes relationships turn into situations like roommates. With rents and housing inflation so high, living with someone can be financially beneficial. After you get your wellness program going like I mentioned above, you might be in a better position to see if the relationship is an insurmountable problem.
In the meantime see if you can get a new lease on life working on yourself. Or if you need professional help, then that is probably a good investment in you. You are worth it. Your life is salvageable.
Hope you get the support you are looking for.
