Fear of becoming obsessed? Irrational or not?
So I have a Fearful Avoidant Attachment style. I have anxious thoughts, as well as avoidant ones. So one day I could be extremely anxious and worrying about every little thing, and the next I'll feel anxious and I'll wanna run away. I also have OCD, just wanna throw that out there.
So I've been talking to these two people for the past maybe week, and we've been hitting it off amazingly. Today, I had a very vulnerable chat with them (which was terrifying), but it went very well. They told me they could relate to things I said, and we had an amazing chat. I really feel like I've bonded with them today. But I'm starting to worry about things, things that might be irrational.
I worry, what if I become too attached and I become obsessed? What if I really start to like these people and I become obsessed with them and it makes my anxious/aviodant thoughts act up more? What if I push them away by being too obsessed with them? I don't know if these are anxious thoughts that I'm feeling that might be irrational.. or if it's not? I know anxiously attached people can become co-dependent or obsessive with people they really like, and I don't want that. Part of me is worrying about this, and thinking "maybe I'll ask them to chat with me less?", but is that self sabotaging behavior? Is this whole thought a self sabotaging thought? I don't really wanna chat less, I like our schedule now, but idk?
What do you think? If you are someone who has a fearful Avoidant Attachment, and you can help me with this, please do. If I do end up becoming obsessive, what should I do to stop that? How can I prevent that? I'm having thoughts of wanting to be avoidant and run away, which I don't wanna do, because I don't wanna become obsessed and hurt them. Is this worry just normal fearful Avoidant Attachment self sabotaging? I don't know, pls give your advice! 🩷
@lemontea113
Thank you for being here and sharing. It must be hard to worry whether your bond to those people is okay and if there is a risk that you become obsessed with them. I believe many of us fear to loose people which enrich our lives but of course it is about the degree of our fear, the ability to let go and accept that life and people constantly change. Living in a constant fear of trusting others despite the desire to do so (fearful avoidant attachment style) along with ocd is emotionally exhausting.
Something I believe is helpful is not to let your guards down immediately when you meet someone.
If you fear that sharing too much about yourself in a relationship too quickly will lead you to withdraw, slow things down. (set boundaries for yourself)
Learn to regulate your emotions.
These are some self help guides which might be helpful https://www.7cups.com/help-managing-emotions/, ocd https://www.7cups.com/ocd/
I hope this helps and that you can continue to enjoy the bond your have with those 2 people without having to fear that it might turn into an unhealthy relationship.