Girl/friends anxiety

I'm LDS or Mormon, (spare me lol) and I used to share a ward with a girl I really like and plenty of friends. We hung out at youth events and only really that because I was pretty consistently scared to invite them over. They are all really great including the girl I like, and then our ward split in May of last year, I was the only one out of all my friends to be split up. That basically killed the only interactions I had with them and I hardly see them in school. And so over time I slowly became more and more awkward around them convincing myself that none of them actually cared that I was gone, especially because the only who really expressed genuine care about me leaving was the girl I liked (which only made me like her more). I've barely talked to any of them sense then, and the girl was the only person who consistently talked to me till October, when I finally became way to awkward around her and started avoiding her, she still showed genuine excitement when seeing me for a bit, but I quickly killed that off and now I can barely get a hi. My sister however is in this way stronger than me and she invited the girl and her brother over to hang out with us, my sister doesn't know I like her though. That got me pretty excited though, the girl said that her and her brother are pretty busy RN and she'd get back to us later but that was in December. My stepmom is still trying to set it up but realistically, I don't think she wants to hang out with me. Which makes sense, I don't really participate in any of the humor my generation likes and I mostly thrive off of dad jokes, which makes me feel really out of place and weird. I need advice on how to get past the freaking fear and anxiety that takes over me when I see her, I don't know how to stop it because I'm basically paralyzed whenever she's around me, and all I'm doing is beating myself up about it.