Jealousy

@wisteria28

You are enough as you.

The key to happiness and success is trying your best and embracing your own gifts and talents and not wasting time comparing yourself.

Yes, it's human and we all do it 

But it's better to celebrate, that we all have different strengths 💜💕

Try to compete with yourself not with others. Try to get more marks then you get earlier. Comparing with others will never make you happy. Because there is always someone who is better than you and we can't always be perfect. 

Everyone is different. Some people get better marks even if they study only just before exam. And some people don't get better marks even preparing for whole year. So just do your best and leave the rest on God. 🫂@wisteria28

Hi @wisteria28

Thanks for bearing yourself so openly here. So may suffer from jealousy or covetousness but they don’t recognise it as a problem. So you are one step ahead here!

I would highly recommend one of Jordan Paterson’s advice - Rules for living - “compare yourself to who you were yesterday, not to who someone else is today”

This small adjustment created wonders in my life. I have lost a lot of years due to my Bipolar disorder and all my peers have a better earning, family with kids and the whole nine yards. I could have never improved if I compared myself with them given the years I lost I could never catch up.

What I did instead was just focus on me and try to be a tiny bit better that what I was yesterday.

1. Did I take care of myself better than yesterday

2. Did I forgive myself more today

3. Did I get enough sleep today

4. Did I walk more today

5. Did I eat better than yesterday

6. Was I more kind today than yesterday

7. Did I learn something new today

8. Did I apply something I learnt today which I ignored yesterday

9. Did I count my blessings more today.

10. Did I tell more of my loved ones how much they mean to me today.

These things really helped me grow so much I can’t describe in words. Small baby steps will soon start compounding. It’s really the 8th wonder of the world - Compounding. Keep doing small incremental good things just see the momentum you gain and see how it helps you!!

I wish you all the best and let me know how this goes for you.

@wisteria28 Good morning, let me just first point out that you have to get rid of the "perfectionism" mindset. Perfectionism doesn't exist, and I too, had to go through this. I was constantly comparing myself, constantly striving to do way more, and never reaching what I wanted to, and it became and endless cycle of misery, why? Because it doesn't exist, it's like trying to catch that perfect one-time high, that will never be achieved. We have to just do our best and accept that we've done the best we can, there's no more afterwards. As long as we're okay with ourselves doing what we can, that should replace the negative thought process. It's not easy at first, but it becomes easier, and way less stressful. You'll feel better mentally. It's not good to compare yourself to someone else, because, honestly, why would you want to be like someone else? Be YOU, your own unique self! Who cares if someone's doing more than you, that doesn't mean you're any less! You're just as good as her! Nobody is underneath or above anyone else! Look at yourself the same way you look at her, and if she's negative towards you, she's not for you! Never let someone tell you otherwise. Regardless of what you may think, you always matter! If someone does tell you otherwise, ignore them and move on about your day. Nothing negative is worth your time & energy!!! But you have to let that "perfect" mindset go, regardless of how you were raised, what you were conditioned to, etc. You can always replace the negative thought process with positive reinforcement. Replace negative words with positive ones. I used to be just like you with the perfectionism, and slowly but surely grew out of it, and it feels so much lighter! I simply don't care what others think of me or how they view me, I know who I am and know what I'm capable of. I'm a rare gem and will do whatever I want, regardless of what anyone has to say about me! I don't live for others, I live for myself! Live for yourself too! I hope you have a better day!

I used to feel this way. Then one day i just sat down and desperately told myself, "it's okay if he's better than me , I'm not him and he's not me. It's okay if he's perfect, i am allowed to be imperfect. It's okay if he's the best, but I'm not the best and it's fine. I'm fine and I don't need to compare. " And trust that one day changed my perspective for him because all the words that i said i was really understanding them and I meant them. Do this and meant it.