Staying in Control
When strong emotions take over we say and do things we later regret.
- How can people improve their self-control of emotions and speech?
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@soulsings It's a huge progress you need to practice every day. Your emotions will be better at least a decade, then everything will be easier for controlling it. Blind anger when it's come to an emergency event will make you forget everything.
@HealingwithMinionn
Thank you for your advice HealingwithMinionn. I shall take this into account but I have been trying to "control" this process for something like 23 years now.
Namaste,
D.
I think it is something that takes practice, a lot of people can't control themselves in that situation and straight away answer, but I think it's a matter of self training and thinking, to take a few breaths calm down think of the correct answer and then respond. It took me a lot of practice to get to this point because the instinct of human nature is to automatically respond
@caringWhisper82
Thank you for your thoughts caringWhisper, I shall take this into account.
I have been trying to rid myself of this for some 23 years and it is happening, recently, more frequently. If it is indeed "human nature" to respond immediately rather than analyse and control the feelings I'm afraid I am guilty and, more so, it has been happening more frequently lately. I am at a loss as to where to go from here.
Namaste,
D.
@DireWolf62 do not control the feelings as much as I avert them by being aware of my mental processes and alerting myself when trouble is brewing.
@soulsings
And therein, my dear soulsings, lies the problem. The "trouble" does not "brew", I have no warning, I have no time to avert, nor prepare even with all the cognitive behavioural and dialectical behavioural therapy tools I have learned. I am currently reading a book entitled "Calming the Emotional Storm", much of it makes sense... in theory, however I am afraid I have a lot of theory behind me but putting it into practice is the problem I face. I need to try and develop an "off" switch to counter the "on" switch.
Thank you for your reply.
Namaste,
D.
@DireWolf62 Marshall Rosenberg developed Nonviolent Communication. He has talks on Youtube and a book of that nae. His approach is to change the words we use to communicate and this can help avert emotions through training our responses to situations.
@soulsings
My dear soulsings, thank you.
I will look into that and see if I can learn from it. If I can learn a method to "control" my triggers then I might be in with a chance at stopping that instant "switch" from being flipped.
Namaste,
D.
@DireWolf62 I take a breath and that helps me not instantly react but it takes a very long time and I am still working on it.
@soulsings
I appreciate what you are suggesting soulsings but when that "switch" is flipped there is no time to take a breath, think, avert, choose words or "activate any defence protocols" LOL
As I mentioned, I think, it comes, instantly, out of left field, hits me like a tidal wave and completely overwhelms any rational thought or manner. It's not even a one second process, it's like milliseconds and I go from quiet and composed to "rage".
Sometimes I think, afterwards, that I'm lucky my clothes don't rip apart and I turn green - a la Hulk!!!
I'm working on it and it used to be better, less frequent, I don't really know what's happened now, lately, to change that. I can't quite put my finger on it and that frustrates me because I used to be better. I know I can change it back, I just have to "identify" the reason/s behind it.
In appreciation of your kind attention.
Namaste,
D.
