After feeling triggered
Hi:
Earlier in the week, while putting together some nametags for a conference. During this time, I stumbled upon a name that happened to be triggering. That named happened to also be the name of a former job coach who "Supported me" at a job back in my 20's. However, I had forgotten all about her since I finally was able to let go of what happened while working at that job. Long story short, she was very toxic and would often make my blood boil.
Anyway, I felt very nervous about her possibly attending the conference. Luckily though, it turns out that it wasn't her who registered. It turned out to be a guy who happened to have the same name. In fact, he had a different spelling and so I felt relieved.
In the meantime, some former memories of this woman and my experiences of this woman came up. So I spent some time working on letting go through journaling which helped me get to the root of the problem. Basically, one of my her colleagues attended the same conference as a vendor 7 years ago. Although she was not mean or rude, she and I didn't see eye to eye on things. I ended up crying because that agency seem to underestimate what people with disabilities can do and they don't really empower their clients.
@Summershy
I can only imagine how shocking it felt for you to read the name on the list and how painful the memories were. Glad that journaling helped you to get to the root of it!
Underestimating people because of disabilities is not right, one can be very strong whether without or with disability!
@amiablePeace77
Thank you so much for your support. Again I was so happy that she didn't register for the conference because I feel that it would have been a disaster. Again, this woman not only did she underestimate people with disabilities but she was also very toxic and negative across the board. She also wasn't supportive and never did anything for me. Rather, it seemed like she came to visit her clients because it was part of her job.
@Summershy it's sad when people only see the disability and not the ability. I'm sorry you had such a bad day, it's unreal how even years later things can trigger us in the moment and we are reliving it all over again, sending you hugs and best wishes 💜🥰
@Amanda84
I had a bad day when I was stumbled upon that person's name tag. Yes she underestimated me and that was a problem. The bigger issue is that she was a negative influence who was incredibly toxic and a bully.
@Summershy Im glad you are free of her now 💜🥰
@Amanda84
Thank you for your kind words and support. I broke free from this woman 14 years ago but it took a while because I really got hurt when she she worked with me. However, it's most likely that she was a hurting person as you could hear it in her voice.
1. Whenever I updated on what I wanted to do, the woman always have a "The sky is going to fall and there is no hope" response.
2. She cut a few clients down
While I didn't know her, she seemed like she was more of an animal person than a people person.
@Summershy you deserve to be around people that see the wonderful and kind qualities that you possess 🥰💜
@Amanda84
Oh for sure. In fact, she was not the only reason why I wanted to leave. That workplace also happened to be incredibly toxic for other reasons. They also really didn't support or do anything for me. Rather, they provided me a place to work and that was it.
