Alternative thinking
The holiday season can create an immense amount of pressure for people by feeling that they have to be in a happy mood, have to cook a very special meal or have to buy gifts. It all can feel like a must and a chore and can lead to resentment and the inability to manage stress. Cognitive reframing which is taught in cognitive therapy can help with challenging negative thoughts during the holidays to prevent the downward spiral of depression.
The goal of cognitive reframing is to identify a negative thought and to create a more realistic way to see something. Let’s look at an example:
Thought: “I have to go the the X-Mas dinner in the club”
Alternative: “I don’t have to just because I was invited”
Thought: “I have to mix with friends during the holidays”
Alternative: “It’s okay to stay on my own, it does not make me a weird person”
Can you share some challenging thoughts and alternative ways to see the situation?
@amiablePeace77
This is so important. Learning to be ok doing what is best for ourselves can feel uncomfortable, but also empowering at the same time once you start doing it more often.
Thought: "I'll feel guilty if I don't....."
Alternative: "I an say no and do what is best for my own mental health"
@halcyonCloud2036
I like your answer about saying no at times. Our mental health always comes first.
Thought " maybe I should help with taking care of my sibling even though their mom is there laying around on a couch "
Alternative " I dont need to feel like I have to because i am not the parent and I have other chores to do"
@bubblyMusic8287
I hope your mom will be able to give them the attention they need soon.
@amiablePeace77 yes, i hope so :)
@amiablePeace77 "I have to drive 4 hours to see my mom - I will be exhausted."
"I am going to get to see my mom. It might be the last time. I am going to really appreciate it."
@soulsings
We never know how long we have with others. Nice way to see it soul.
Thought: “My semester is over for break which means less excuses to avoid leaving the house and socializing”
Alternative: I’ll have more time to myself during break without having to stress over class work, and I don’t have to force myself to interact too much with anyone if I don’t want to and feel like I can’t
@SarahX00
Your alternative sounds like much less pressure to me.
Sometimes I feel like all I want to do is skip the holidays. Thanksgiving. Christmas. They don't feel the same to me anymore. Ever since I lost my dog right before my wife's birthday, a few weeks before Thanksgiving, nothing has felt the same ever since. That was over 3 years ago and it still hurts so much today. That year we didn't celebrate Christmas. We went to a casino and had a good time, not thinking about Christmas, trying to hold on. It was rough. It still is. Every single day. Our little girl was everything to us. It's just so hard sometimes. On top of that I have other things on my mind as well so I'm just feeling a bit overwhelmed right now and would love to just skip right over Christmas this year.
@littleDog8604
My heart goes out to you for the loss of your little girl even if years ago. Grief can stay with us for a long time. What kind of dog was she?
7cups will be open for the holidays, so you can come anything to be with friends and relax or chat to a listener o join support 24/7 if you feel it could help.
@amiablePeace77 Thanks. I appreciate your response. She was what we called a mini-lab. She was a rescue so we weren't entirely sure what she was but she basically looked like a yellow lab, but a miniature one.
@littleDog8604
She must have been adorable.
@amiablePeace77.
Thought: “I have to eat my friend’s cooking, because I feel guilty telling her I don’t like it”
Alternative: “it’s okay to be honest with your friend, because they can learn from your criticism”
@Desmynn6789
Good point about learning from criticism. I believe being open is also bonding.
Hey, ik was laatst wat over stress en ontspanning aan het lezen en kwam toevallig tegen, en wat me meteen opviel was dat ze speciale bonussen bieden voor spelers uit België. Ik probeerde een paar gokkasten uit en na een korte reeks kleine verliezen had ik ineens een flinke winst, wat echt een kick gaf. De spellen draaiden soepel en eerlijk, en het voelde leuk om zo mijn vrije tijd door te brengen. Sindsdien speel ik er regelmatig en kan het zeker aanraden aan iedereen die van casino-spanning houdt.