Working on letting go
Hi:
I most recently posted about leaving a synagogue which has a very toxic environment. All the while, I found a better fit. In the meantime, I have holding onto some resentment towards one of the leaders. The main reason why is because he did some things that I did not like. Yet, other people did some of the same things that were irritable as well. However, I found that I had been the most offended at him and wondered why.
Earlier today, I felt offended and decided to use the "4-7-8" while in commute and then journal. It was through journaling that I came to a conclusion.
1. I am a woman living on the autistic spectrum
2. He has worked very closely with children on the spectrum
In my case, I often run into people like him who approach me with a know it all attitude. Yet, they never take an interest in getting to know me. Instead, they let their inflated ego get in their way
@Summershy hi I hear you - people affect us in different ways according to gender, attitude, appearance and personality. There may be other ways too but you may know inside what especially irritates you.
@soulsings
Hi:
I had a chance to think things through. The biggest issue is that I do tend to get offended easily and that's because I have autism. I keep setting these expectations that I will finally find people who will see me as a whole person. However, a lot of them tend talk to me like I am a little kid or do other things like give me high fives and fist bumps and I don't like it. Most of the time I find it really offensive because these people barely know me. I also tend to get offended because I feel like a lot of people have very little expectations and I keep running in it over and over again. That's really bothering me.
However, what are some other great strategies to letting go?
@Summershy my expectations are usually unrealistic and so they lead me to disappointment and dissatisfaction.
One thing you could do is recognize that those people do not have a clue how to relate to you and they are doing the best they can so maybe just play along with them and make them feel better about how they relate to you.
Women are often faced with this discrimination by young men who judge a woman by here appearance. A person is so much more than this body.
I also try to not base my self esteem on how others react to me. They are just projecting their own values and beliefs on me.
I am running out of ideas but I am open to talking about in a 1-1 send me a message https://www.7cups.com/@soulsings
This is a great question about letting go. We do discussions in mindfulness about letting go only this one is labelled forgiveness but it is really about letting go
| May | 22 | Thursday | 5:00 PM | Mindfulness Group Support Room | Guided Discussion | amiablePeace77 | adventurousBranch3786 | The power of forgiveness Letting GO |
@soulsings
I never thought about being dismissed because of being woman. Actually, I am neurodivergent and these people don't know to interact with me. Yet, what often offends me is that these people never bother to get to know me or really make any effort.
@Summershy welcome to the group of misunderstood people. 99 percent of more of people who do not study or validate mental health issues only think of advancing their own happiness and are mainly interested in themselves.
@soulsings
Thank you. By the way, I found a new way to let go by journaling in a more structured way. For instance, this new structure has 20 prompted questions that seemed to reframe my thinking.
For instance, the first question asked if this congregation serve me anymore. Another question is whether I feel safe
@Summershy those sound like good questions to focus on.
@soulsings
They stump you but pretty much reframe your thinking
@Summershy those are the best questions - the ones there are no simple answers to!
Shrink their image to tiny man, squeaky silly voice and everything black/white
@dancingJoy75
That is funny
@dancingJoy75 here is an advertisement where they shrunk a massive football player to Tom Thumb size https://youtu.be/Kja46NfmB1o?feature=shared