Who wants to be a cop or CO or military ? [TW: Abuse]

I've been through alot of shit my my life, drugs every abuse there is, deaths , homeless, streets, everything. My mother wasn't a good parent, she was when I was a lil girl , but when I turned, 10 years old, I didn't know what just happened, my mom stabbed my dad, she pushed my to a glass window , scar 12 inches on my back, abused me and my lilbrother .my dad didnt want that , so he wanted to separate , do we did. I wanted to live with my mom to help her with her problems ! I don't know what started for her to change. My mother started to use drugs , prositute, and more abuse. My mother was very wrong in alotof ways . My father wanted me to live with him, things started to change with him "drinking" he became verbal, and aggressive. I didn't want that, so I went to my mother and live with her . Things gotten worse . Drugs , abuse, raped, gangs, shot at, homeless, stabbed, neglect, and all !! But I couldn't handle it any more so I tryed to kill myself . But it didnt work because of police and hospitals I didn't want to accept the help that was given to me. I went to go back and live with my father, he changed alil bit, I was do scared of everybody, no trust, no hugs, no words, nothing, my father tryed to help me hard as he can , and I didn't accept it. I started to use drugs and got into fights and suspended from school, I didn't care about my life , but when I get in trouble , cops where always there for me , trying to get help, I've been into 8 mental facility's, but one of them worked, before that treatment I had a lil brother and he was innocent and shy, he was the best brother there was, but I was stupid and done things to him that changed his life, drugs, and fights, I went to a long term treatment my father abandoned me and moved to a different state, I was sad depressed and worried. But I wanted my lilbrother to stop with drugs. I got out of treatment and went to a foster home, I made a Facebook and my lil brother found me, he was happy I got a hold of my dad :) he was better, he was happy that I got help , my dad abandoned me because he didnt know how to help me, so I went to treatment , he left. Months later my lil brother changed, he got into so many things, drugs, gangs, and dealing. My father tryed to help him, I tryed to help him by Facebook and phone. On November of last year my lil brother called crying and hurt I couldn't understand him, all I heard was have a good life, I thought that he was talking about never seeing me again, I called the police, they didntdo anything to help him!! And I was hurt, my lil brothers last words to me was I love you but need to take time, a month later he killed himself that was on January 8th of last year. If the police helped my lil brother he wouldn't kill himself :'( my brother killed himself because he couldn't stop using and dealing, the police didnt stop him!! My lil brother got shot at and robbed he was scared but damn it the police didnt do shit !!! My brother was also depressed , because of the break up of the family. So he's gone I lost my best friend :'( . My father saw him die in his on eyes , he's tramuatized, he's going to back where I live so I can take care of him. The point is , the police didnt stop what there suppose to stop they didnt help anyone so I am wanting to be a police women and help young kids to stay away from drugs I'm wanting to help them because of the lost of my lil brother I'm doing it for him because I love him