A Challenging Day
Today has been a challenging day. From the ages of 8-16 I was abused physically, sexually, and verbally by my own father. I am now an adult, and live on my own, and about a week ago, I was over for a visit. I asked a simple question, and got snapped/yelled at. This triggered some trauma response. I felt fear, guilt, and sadness. I know I did absolutely nothing wrong, but I felt as if I did. I also went straight into defense mode. I told him that that was not okay what he did. This just got him angrier, and he yelled at me more. I've now been struggling with trauma symptoms for the past week. Today has been the worst. I feel like no one cares. I'm also afraid to ask people for help when I need it for some reason. I feel lost. It hurts today.
@MrDrumz16424 I'm sorry to hear you're going through something like that. I can only imagine how it's like... It's understandable that you're scared of asking for help. After having gone through something like that... it's hard. I know that there are some people in 7 cups who can help you and support you through this. Maybe begin by trying to talk about it with someone you trust? Also maybe try and find some coping mechanisms to deal with possible attacks and try to identify what triggers you and what doesn't? I'm not really an expert on stuff like this, but I hope you feel better and get the help you need and deserve. Take care and Stay safe. Stay Strong. I believe you can get through this. Hang on over there.
@HappyLily291125 Thank you for the kind words. ❤ They are honestly incredibly helpful.
@MrDrumz16424
That sounds awful and I'm so sorry that you're going through that. I feel like all of your reactions to that visit are really understandable. I'd probably feel very scared/nervous to begin with just to be visiting them. Then to get yelled at, it would feel like I was back in some past memory repeating all of the past situations where I was stuck/helpless. And to have things escalate further as a result of you trying to protect yourself while you're already in the midst of this emotional flashback and feeling really unsafe/overwhelmed... it's just too much.
I could understand not wanting to ask for help or reach out if there's any chance at all that someone might respond in that sort of way. I hope you'll continue writing if you find it helpful. Appreciate your courage in sharing.