Stress Disorder

Hello everyone of 7cups and the outside world, I want to share something that I've never told anyone before and I think I will be taking a break, so if you don't know me or if u have seen me in the other rooms I am Callum, I am 23 years old and I sadly have alot of issues when it comes to my mental health, I think what has started it is when people had passed away I'm not sure but I found things to cope and in ways it worked and others around me had thought it was unhealthy when I would sit in my room and come home from school and eat my meals up in my room and isolate myself from society and that's normally what kids do at like 13 14 and 15 but not all children, u see I think I have traumatised myself by things I've seen in life and what I found out so young things I wasn't supposed to know or see until a right age, i became more quiet in life and wanted no human communication but I kind of did want communication in a way I wanted to feel I was wanted, I would make scenarios in my head of a perfect life with people I wanted and felt shy around mostly anyway, and it made me feel lonely so when I heard songs I never heard before I would feel my heart sink bcuz it was like my soul knew I was hurting and it was kind of a way of showing me new ways of what can touch and understand your feelings like relating to words or just hearing the song general but by 20/21 I kinda understood when I got the same feelings I had as a teenager oddly enough and it made me fully understand the feelings of that time. But in this past year I've been getting worse and worse with everything and I'm getting triggered alot and thinking very hardly and deeply into my future and it isn't looking good, I know I have a trauma disorder of some sort and recently picked up a traumatic stress disorder where sometimes I pace around the room and hear voices and thoughts in my head and I'm getting worse. I don't really wanna tell people about how my living situation is like bcuz it's on thier minds and then it adds to thier battles they face so I would rather not let nobody worry about me bcuz I care for my cups friends mental wellbeing. I just get so angry with myself over how I feel and take it out on myself by building and building more thoughts on to my brain and then I belive what my brain tells me, im sorry for venting so much and taking up space but I really wanted to leave this here while I am on a break so people can know where I have gone. If any of my friends here ask where i am just tag them here so they know and they are not worried. I'm sorry but I have to do this and look after myself first and get those steps in to get better, take care and merry Christmas, hope to see you soon hope those have an amazing 2024 and be well with yourself. ♥️🙏