Trauma Support Community Check-in: 6-7 May 2021
Hey community ❤️
How are you all?
Today, I faced a painful reminder of some of my past hurts. As a soon-to-be adult, many things about my childhood continue to shock me, mostly because I believed as a child that there was nothing wrong with them. Perhaps you too have been in a scenario where your sincere trust was taken advantage of. Maybe you were once led to believe that something was okay when it wasn't. Maybe you've been lied to, manipulated, abused, or betrayed. Chances are, it hurt when you eventually understood the truth
I want you to know that your pain is justified, and it's okay to grieve for the person or child who lived through that experience. It's okay to feel angry and disgusted. It's okay to feel scared and lost. And I'm so sorry that it happened ❤️ Sometimes it feels easier to try to forget, or to try to take the blame. It's normal to try to rewrite or bury the truth to establish some control over the pain, and it's normal to hide the emotions away in order to keep going with life.
But you deserve to untie the knot in your heart. You deserve to be free from the strain of carrying all of this inside you. It doesn't have to be this way. Your healing and your heart are in your hands. You don't need someone else to pay back what they owe for you to move on. You have the choice to grieve, ponder, walk through, and let go. You have an entire life ahead of you, and you get to choose the kind of person you want to become ❤️ We're here for you - you are not alone in this ❤️
Questions:
1. How are you?
2. Are there things in your heart that you're struggling to process and heal from?
3. What can you do for yourself this week to take care of yourself?
Tagging: @adaptableLake3534 @adequatelyInadequate @adventurousBranch3786 @Amelia2324 @AstronomySkies @AveryLove @BeenAKiwi @BillyJoeBobb @blueScarf9326 @BrokenDreamsPalace @BrokenMedic @CaptainTrev @CaringBrit @clare7199 @Colorfulcatsofhope @communicativeYard2325 @CoolBeans29 @crimsonLime6525 @crxxtvfl0w @depressedsatellite1452 @DinaElwy @domesticEmerald50s @emylly @Feathersfall @FigureskatingEquestrian @Fireskye13 @Fleggles @Gagaintheroom @gentleLand5245 @Ghxstie @goldenSpruce1512 @Grandmaof10 @gregariousBeing5071 @Grits1910 @hillsideblues @honestpanda81 @HonestWarrior6624 @HopeNChayil @HumanPersonThingy @Hydrangea03 @InfinityandBeyond23 @Itisbailey @jovialButterfly6752 @jr50 @jupitermatilde @JustSmilingThruHell @Kekesea11 @Kickiree @Kimmkimm @LightofWorld @Lilly28 @littleHuman9247 @littleOtter1342 @lovehummingbirdsCindy @LovelyOrangeJuice @lowkeyem1001 @Lubo123 @Luchelle @maya6548 @Mellietronx @mkaitx @MVObserver @mytwistedsoul @navyMango2804 @neatBlueberry3608 @neonDog3649 @neonOwl3442 @NevaehRose @Nolanhm @NoneTheWiser @nonethewiser @notmyselftoday @npos25 @oceancruiser48 @OffDutySeraph @OneWithSugar @ottersngiggles @Parvlakin @pencilmarks @Pidgeymon @PinkestOctopus @politeBunny7572 @purpleWheel873 @QuietLotus @rainbow3140 @Randomperson453 @RansviewTheWizard @ReallyRuth @Rebekahwriter13 @Redhawk6547 @redmark @Rosa9570 @SarahAlaina15 @scarletPear1945 @selfdisciplinedTiger5523 @sensitiveShade5337 @shiningDay80 @Silverviolets @sleepingd0gg0 @SnippyHam @sofiamartino18 @SoulSupporter102 @stickercollection @Summer899 @SynSavory @Taylorz27 @tealOak8933 @The0Vetoed0System @TheFisherKing @ThisIsLogan @ThreadbareThinker @TransparentPuzzle @Turtlegrrrl8 @u1146 @Understandingempath @UndomesticGoddess @uniqueDaisy @WarriorHeartsSystem @weepingwillow5489 @WelcomeToChat @Worrior22Warrior @Writersworld
1. I am feeling complete. I am whole for the first time since I can remember. 2. There's alot in my heart which I struggle to process and heal from. We did something as a whole which is going to take alot of sacrifice to come back from and we only get there together. 3. Rest and let go for a little while. We just have to know when we let go it's in good hands from there.
@Understandingempath
Hey there ❤️ It's so good to hear that you're doing so well, I'm really happy for you ❤️ No matter what lies ahead, we're here for you. You're absolutely right about resting and letting - sounds like a plan. Take care, and I hope this week goes well for you ❤️
Hi. I am good today. How are you?
I accept what has happened, but I struggle with accepting how I am now because of it. I don't like that I'm scared of people, even if I can eventually talk myself through things. I don't like how alert I am of things, but sometimes it's a good thing maybe. I don't like having a thin skin sometimes. My partner tells me there are good things about me being that way though. They say it makes me more caring toward them and other people.
I will try to participate more here this week, write, and enjoy some everyday things.
@shellofashell
Hey there ❤️ It's great to hear that you're doing good. I'm doing pretty well today too, thank you for asking ❤️
I can understand that feeling. It doesn't quite feel fair, does it? It's okay to not like the way you've changed because of what happened, that wasn't something you could control. I feel it's healthy to recognise that what happened did affect us, and there are some habits or traits that we still have as an automatic defense mechanism. Maybe not all of them are helpful, but you're in a better position now to identify them and work towards a better mindset. Trauma changes us, but it doesn't define us. We get to decide what kind of person we're going to work towards being.
Your partner is right that these traits have their own benefits, that's why you developed them in the first place. But it never hurts to find healthier ways to handle emotions and situations. No matter what, know that you are loved and worth loving. You are someone who is capable of being courageous and resilient, compassionate and kind ❤️
That sounds like a great idea ❤️ I'm looking forward to hearing more from you here ❤️ Take care, and I hope you'll have a good day ahead
@hopebeyondpain Hi again. Thankyou for the welcome and being so nice and thoughtful in your reply. I saw some of your posts around, and you are a very sweet person, understanding of many things. You are appreciated.
@hopebeyondpain Hey :) I can really relate to this post. I'm sorry you had to go through what ever it was that hurt you - I don't think childhood is supposed to be so painful - but it is :(
There are many many things that weigh on my heart - things I didn't understand - things I don't want to know and there are days when the weight of it all makes me wish this heart would just stop - crushed by the weight. Days when I'm so angry at the world - at everything and everyone and I am at war with myself. Days when things are so raw and exposed - I just hide. I know everyone says - we're not alone. But it sure feels that way sometimes doesn't it?
Been spending alot of time outside - when the weather isn't rainy. Got the garden growing and added on again to the green house. I've been trying to cut myself some slack and not be so hard on myself about things. I'm trying to find my voice again and give myself permission to speak - to write - to talk about things but yet - Idk - baby steps I guess
Thank you - for the checkin - for giving people a safe place here - I'm grateful
@mytwistedsoul
Hey ❤️ Thank you for your kindness, it made my heart feel warm and safer ❤️ You might not be able to see or feel it from the other side of this screen, but the things you say really do help me, and you've had a very positive influence in my life- just through the words you write here. I'm truly grateful for the encouragement and experiences you've shared here ❤️
I understand those kinds of days. It can feel so confusing and exhausting and painful to honestly not know what you're supposed to do with all these feelings, especially when you keep swinging between what feels like opposite ends of a spectrum. Yes, it really does feel so lonely sometimes. It can be so easy to lose yourself in the middle of those days. All I can say is, I'm proud of you for holding on even through all of this. It isn't easy, but you keep going anyway ❤️
Those are great ideas. Small steps are enough, you'll get there ❤️ The steps don't have to be big, as long as they take you in the right direction ❤️ Take care, and I hope you'll have a gentle day ❤️
@hopebeyondpain Thank you for your kind words. You help me and so many others here feel heard. I'm not sure if some people understand how important that is. It's nice to hear that I may have been a positive influence - even if I don't quite believe it
Sometimes I wonder about those steps - how do we know for sure it is the right direction? Like right according to who? What if those steps take you farther from who you wanted to be? Then you're stuck I guess - sorry - thinking out loud sort of
Thank you again - I hope you have a good week - take care
I think it's only natural to doubt yourself, but your own judgement can actually be a really valuable resource. You're the one who knows yourself the best, who understands what you've been through, and who knows what works for you and what doesn't Even if you turn out to be wrong, you'll have learnt something important from it, which will help you the next time you face something similar. It's okay to get things wrong - everyone messes up somehow. The more important thing is to feel deep in your heart for what you really need, and trust that something good will come out of it
In Buddism there is a saying: 苦海 边，回头是岸。It means that when you find yourself facing a hopelessly endless ocean of bitterness, turn back and you'll see the shore. No matter what happens, you can always turn back, face the consequences, and start again ❤ Thank you for all the encouraging words you wrote too ❤ I hope you'll have a good week too, take care ❤
@hopebeyondpain That's a beautiful saying - thank you for sharing it with me. I still have the bitterness and I've faced the consequences but I've been dwelling on those - focused on the unfairness of life - I forgot to start to try again. I need to do better. Thank you for listening and showing me some light in the darkness ❤
@hopebeyondpain
1. How are you?
Not too great. How bout you? 
2. Are there things in your heart that you're struggling to process and heal from?
Many. Sometimes the past hurts so much, but I know that someday it will all be much much better.
3. What can you do for yourself this week to take care of yourself?
Ew self-care (joking). Hmmmmm I could try to take proper care of the body I've been given
@EmJayyy
Hey there ❤️ I'm sorry to hear things haven't been that great ❤️ I'm doing pretty okay, thank you for asking. I admire your spirit and hope - you're absolutely right that someday things will get better ❤️ We can't change what's already happened, but we can still choose to live and to appreciate the little things in life that matter to us
Haha, I get it - I sometimes find myself rolling my eyes when someone tells me to practice self-care too. Easier said than done, right? Yes, that's a good place to start - there are many little things you can do to take better care of your body. All the best, my friend, and I hope you'll have a restful day ahead ❤️
Been a good week actually. The first in about two months. A lot of drama
@Ts90
Glad to hear ❤️ Thank you for sharing, and take care. I hope you'll have a good day ahead too ❤️
