Trauma Support Community Check-in: Thursday 18 March 2021

@Fireskye13 Hey Skye :) I feel for you - I do the same thing tbh. Go until I can't and basically passout from exhaustion and then there must be some sleep walking because I end up finding myself in weird places

Hopefully it will get better for both of us eventually

Take care of yourself

@Fireskye13

Heya Skye ❤️ I'm doing great, thank you for asking ❤️

Oh my, that does sound like a really inconvenient and unhelpful sleep pattern. It's good to see that it hasn't affected your sense of humour 😄 Well, rest doesn't necessarily have to mean sleep, you can do lots of other things while waiting until you're tired enough to pass out. If you can't sleep, might as well do something that makes you happy ❤️

Thank you for checking in with us today, Skye. Stay pawsome ❤️ 🔥

@DinaElwy

Hey there ❤️

I'm really sorry to hear about your awful headache ❤️ I can tell that this experience really really hurt *offers a gentle hug* It's okay to feel awful and ashamed of yourself after something like this. I know it must have been a really hard several months for you, but I want you to know that it's okay. We cannot change the things that have already happened, only what we do next. There are opportunities and places to learn and grow out there waiting for you if you're willing to give yourself another chance.

Did you know that you can change yourself? It's true, many studies have been done on people and how they react to really awful and discouraging events. They found that no matter how badly you were affected at first, or how many obstacles you found yourself up against, the people who focused on improving and giving themselves space to learn were the ones who were happiest. They weren't necessarily the most successful at first, because the challenges that life threw at them were truly horrible. But they chose to live life looking towards the things they could do, not the things they couldn't. They focused on the things they could still change, not the things that they had no control over.

It's normal beat yourself up over something like this, but you are capable of so much more, if you choose to allow yourself to try. You really can trust yourself, because you're the one who knows yourself best, and you really can help yourself feel better, even if it feels imporssible at first. You are not useless and your life matters ❤️

No matter how bad things are today, you get to choose. We can start small, with things like taking a good shower, or cleaning up your room, or walking a few laps around the house. The steps you take don't have to be big, as long as they take you in the right direction. We do what we can with what we have ❤️

Thank you for checking in with us today, and I hope you'll have a peaceful day ❤️

@mytwistedsoul

Hey there ❤️ It's good to hear that you're feeling okay ❤️ It sounds like you've been able to keep all of your negative emotions at bay, but they're still there and that doesn't feel good. I understand that feeling ❤️ If you think it would help, you could try finding a time to sit down and let the emotions be, and maybe try out some mindfulness ❤️ I've often found that letting myself feel these emotions actually helps me to process them better and they go away faster

I relate to having those messages internalised to some degree. It can just be difficult to forget them ❤️ I want you to know that I believe in you ❤️ It might not be easy, but you're capable of doing it. You're no longer the same person you once were when these things were being told to you, and you can decide and judge for yourself what helps you and what doesn't. Keep going, my friend, we'll get there together ❤️

Hooray for weighted blankets! I'm happy for you ❤️

Thank you for checking in with us today ❤️ Take care too, and I hope you'll have a restful day ❤️

@purpleWheel873

Hey there ❤️ I'm so glad to hear that you've been good! That's amazing ❤️

Ah yes, I compeltely relate to that, especially when it comes to math. Having negative self talk when we can't learn something as quickly or as well as we'd like to is really common, and there are lots of good tips out there for dealing with them ❤️ Something that works for me is thought challenging (cognitive restructuring), which is a part of cognitive behavioural therapy. It's about learning to notice when you have negative thought patterns and disrupting them when they show up. You can learn about how to do that at this link: https://www.healthline.com/health/cognitive-restructuring

I want you to know that you're the same person you were before you started learning this new thing. Not being able to get it right that easily doesn't mean you're any less strong or smart or hardworking. It just means you'll need more time and effort to learn this. Remember that it's okay to make mistakes and to struggle, it happens to everyone ❤️ You're not alone in this. It's okay to give yourself a short mental break when things get frustrating too ❤️ It might not be easy, but the fact that you're continuing to try and to counter the bad thoughts shows me that you're strong and courageous ❤️

Yay! I'm glad things worked out well for the thing you asked for. It can be scary to ask for things, but you chose to be courageous and you did an amazing job! I'm proud of you ❤️

Thank you for checking in with us today, and I hope you'll have a good day ahead ❤️

@ReallyRuth

Hey there ❤️ I'm really glad it helped ❤️ I completely agree with what you said about how easy it is to feel bad about resting, and I love the expression you used about letting rest feel like a gift. We all forget sometimes, but rest truly is something we're meant to enjoy and lean into regularly, so we can have the strength to keep going. Life may have been a little stressful for you, but you'll get through this ❤️ We do what we can with what we have ❤️

Thank you for checking in with us today, it's been good to see you around ❤️ Take care and have a good day ❤️

@Rebekahwriter13

Hey there ❤️ I'm so happy to hear that you were doing better than you were the past few days ❤️ You're doing it, one step at a time! I'm proud of your progress ❤️

I see, I'll be praying for you, if that's okay ❤️ These all sound like things you have no control over, so it's okay to set them down and leave them be too ❤️ No amount of worrying could change the way these things turn out, so it's okay to simply let yourself rest and heal. It sounds like a frustrating situation, but we'll get through this together ❤️

The feeling of finishing all of your tasks for the weekend is amazing ❤️ Time to get some well-earned rest then 😄

Thank you for checking in with us today ❤️ Take care, and I hope you'll have a restful day ahead

@SnippyHam

Hey there ❤️ I completely agree! It's so good to hear that you're doing great! ❤️ I'm so happy for you. It probably wasn't easy getting to this point, but you persevered and you did it and I'm so proud of how far you've come ❤️

I'm sorry this affected you so badly ❤️ I'm glad you're not watching it anymore, it can be so tempting sometimes, even though we know it'll only make us feel bad.

Awesome! I've always loved playing video games, even though my parents never let me when I was young 😆

Thank you for checking in with us today, it was really nice to see you ❤️ Take care, and I hope you'll have a good day

@Mashedpotato364

Hey there ❤️ I can tell that you must be feeling horrible lately, because you brought up these feelings in another forum post you made. I'm sorry ❤️ C-PTSD isn't something that's easy to understand in the first place, and even though these are your closest friends, they can't rewally understand what's going on for you. They might feel like they're getting tricked somehow, because your condition has been so awful that they don't know what to do or how to help. I know Ted-Ed made a good video explaining PTSD that might help them understood what you're going through: https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=b_n9qegR7C4

If they truly are your closest friends, chances are they really want to understand what's going on in your life and how bad things really are. Otherwise, it's okay to let go of them and focus on helping yourself recover first ❤️

One step at a time ❤️ We focus on the next biggest problem first. Take the thing that bothers you the most and let the rest fall to the side for a while, as you work on putting things back to together piece by piece ❤️ You're not alone in all of this ❤️ Many of us hear have experienced some form of PTSD, and if you ever need to talk about it, you can write a forum post here ❤️

Thank you for checking in with us today, and I hope you'll have a restful day ❤️

Hi @Mashedpotato364 - sorry to hear you've been having a hard time lately, and you don't have the support you need from your closest friends. That sounds really hurtful that they don't validate the experiences you have. It could be that they're trying to help in their own way, but their way of helping isn't exactly helpful to you (and infact is making things worse). Dealing with triggers and CPTSD is very tough, and you deserve patience, understanding, care, empathy, and validation. It's not something that someone can 'just get over', as it takes time and support to process.

I hope you can do a few things to take care of yourself today, whether that's rest and give yourself a break, or doing something you enjoy. You deserve it.