Trauma Support Community Check-in: Tuesday-Wednesday 13-14 April 2021
Hello community ❤️
How are you? Today, we'll be talking about the stress and disappointment that can come with expectations. As usual, the check-in is optional, and you can just tell us about how you've been ❤️
One aspect of trauma that is not often talked about is the disappointment that comes with the recovery process and relapses. When we are healing from trauma, it's easy to fluctuate between good and bad days. On some days, we find the strength to get up and do some basic tasks, while we are trapped amidst the thoughts, triggers, and flashbacks on others. Other people have gotten better and moving on, why can't we do the same?
If you find yourself feeling guilty or ashamed because you didn't manage to finish your homework or get something important done today, it might be because you're placing some expectations on yourself that your recovering self isn't fully ready to meet❤️ Recovery is a process that takes time, so it is normal to need frequent breaks while you are working through the pain. You do not need to meet any of those expectations just yet. We do what we can with what we have, and that is enough for today ❤️
If today you are feeling stressed or overwhelmed over all the things you want to get done, take a moment to breathe in deeply, and breathe out gently ❤️ Look at the trees, they do not rush or strain, but simply grow big and tall in their own time. Feel the warmth of sunlight, or the cool of evening air. Take a deep breath. You are going to get through today. Just focus on today, tomorrow will worry about itself. Perhaps try giving yourself permission to take things one step at a time. You're going to be okay ❤️
Questions:
1. How are you?
2. What expectations have you been putting on yourself lately? Are there any that you can let go off today?
3. What is one good thing that happened in the past week?
Tagging: @adaptableLake3534 @adequatelyInadequate @adventurousBranch3786 @Amelia2324 @AstronomySkies @AveryLove @BeenAKiwi @BillyJoeBobb @blueScarf9326 @BrokenDreamsPalace @BrokenMedic @CaptainTrev @CaringBrit @clare7199 @Colorfulcatsofhope @communicativeYard2325 @CoolBeans29 @crimsonLime6525 @crxxtvfl0w @depressedsatellite1452 @DinaElwy @domesticEmerald50s @emylly @Feathersfall @FigureskatingEquestrian @Fireskye13 @Fleggles @Gagaintheroom @gentleLand5245 @Ghxstie @goldenSpruce1512 @Grandmaof10 @gregariousBeing5071 @hillsideblues @honestpanda81 @HonestWarrior6624 @HopeNChayil @HumanPersonThingy @Hydrangea03 @InfinityandBeyond23 @Itisbailey @jovialButterfly6752 @jr50 @jupitermatilde @JustSmilingThruHell @Kekesea11 @Kickiree @Kimmkimm @LightofWorld @Lilly28 @littleHuman9247 @littleOtter1342 @lovehummingbirdsCindy @LovelyOrangeJuice @lowkeyem1001 @Lubo123 @Luchelle @maya6548 @Mellietronx @mkaitx @MVObserver @mytwistedsoul @navyMango2804 @neatBlueberry3608 @neonDog3649 @neonOwl3442 @NevaehRose @Nolanhm @nonethewiser @NoneTheWiser @notmyselftoday @npos25 @oceancruiser48 @OffDutySeraph @OneWithSugar @ottersngiggles @Parvlakin @pencilmarks @Pidgeymon @PinkestOctopus @politeBunny7572 @purpleWheel873 @QuietLotus @rainbow3140 @Randomperson453 @ReallyRuth @Rebekahwriter13 @Redhawk6547 @redmark @Rosa9570 @SarahAlaina15 @scarletPear1945 @sensitiveShade5337 @shiningDay80 @Silverviolets @sleepingd0gg0 @SnippyHam @sofiamartino18 @SoulSupporter102 @stickercollection @Summer899 @SynSavory @Taylorz27 @tealOak8933 @The0Vetoed0System @TheFisherKing @ThisIsLogan @ThreadbareThinker @TransparentPuzzle @Turtlegrrrl8 @u1146 @Understandingempath @UndomesticGoddess @uniqueDaisy @WarriorHeartsSystem @weepingwillow5489 @WelcomeToChat @Worrior22Warrior @Writersworld
I’m overwhelmed and stressed out today, however, this post makes me feel better. Thank you hopebeyondpain!
@likewatersw
Hey there ❤️ I'm glad to hear it helped ❤️ I'm sending you some gentle vibes and offering hugs ❤️
@hopebeyondpain
Dear Hope. I relate so much to this thread. Just when I think I'm doing better, I fall again to the same pit and it is too disappointing, and tiring.
My mom was with me this past weekend and I was feeling better. She is an angel and she always make me feel better. But the moment she leaves, I slip and fall again. I'm disappointed about not being able to be fine by myself, and I feel angry and defeated.
And this is neverending.
@Kimmkimm
Hey Kimm ❤️ I'm sending you the warmest of hugs ❤️ I understand. Remember that you can hold onto the fact that it is not your fault that this is happening. It is not your fault. It can feel disappointing, but I want you to know how proud I am of you for continuing to survive. You choose everyday to keep going, and that is courage and strength ❤️
I'm glad to hear your mom helped you feel better ❤️ Kimm, there are many things in this world that are imperfect. Would you be disappointed in little bird for having an injured wing? Or blame them for not being able to fly again fast enough? You are in the process of recovery, it is okay to take a long time to heal ❤️
Instead of focusing on what you haven't been able to do, why not focus on all the things you have been able to do? I've watched as you slowly learned to manage your triggers better, and offer other people support and encouragement based on your shared experiences ❤️ Every little victory matters ❤️
Take care and rest well, my friend ❤️ My PMs are always open
@hopebeyondpain
Thank you so much. I liked the comparison with the bird and I loved it. Thank you so much for putting things in perspective for me. It encourages me a lot.
I love you so much 💖💖💖 Thank you, thank you, thank you.
1. How are you? I'm feeling a bit frustrated as I'm getting stuck with learning something new.
2. What expectations have you been putting on yourself lately? Are there any that you can let go off today? I guess I have the expectation of myself that I'll figure things out easily on my own, but that's not really the case. This expectation makes it harder for me to reach out for help, which is what I need to do.
3. What is one good thing that happened in the past week? weather has been good which makes me feel happy
@purpleWheel873
Hey there ❤️ It's good to hear from you ❤️ I'm sorry to hear this new thing has been a challenge. I can tell that you've really been trying your best and working hard to learn this, so good job for stretching that resilience muscle!
What an insightful observation! You are absolutely right ❤️ Reaching out for help a great way to learn, and I'm happy to see that you recognised that. Learning is about understanding what we didn't know before. There is no shame in struggling or not knowing ❤️
Yay for good weather! Thank you for checking in with us today ❤️ Take care, and I hope youll have a good day
@hopebeyondpain, Hello!
1. How are you?
I'm doing okay.
2. What expectations have you been putting on yourself lately? Are there any that you can let go off today?
On myself, huh. I'm expecting to make progress in a game that I have been playing. I don't really want to put some expectations outside video games because it might disappoint me in the end.
I guess I have something to let go of. Not sure what it is.
3. What is one good thing that happened in the past week?
Found a game that could entertain me in the long term.
Have a nice day!
@SnippyHam
Hey there! ❤️ It is so good to hear from you. I'm sending good vibes for this okay day ❤️
I can really relate to the fear of having expectations that are too high in case they fall through and we end up disappointed. Personally, I see the value in mustering the courage to hope. If something disappointing is going to happen, it will happen whether or not you were expecting anything of yourself. Perhaps you can try it out, and see how it feels to hope for better things and set some reasonable expectations for yourself ❤️
It is okay to make mistakes ❤️ It is okay to slip up and do something disappointing. Nobody is perfect, and therefore everyone ends up doing something disappointing sometimes. You get to choose how you want to live in the meantime ❤️ As for the thing you have to let go of, I am sending you all of my encouragement for you to face it when it comes up, and make the difficult choices ❤️
Yay for fun, long-lasting games! Thank you for checking in with us today ❤️ Take care, and I hope you'll have a good day!
@hopebeyondpain I had the worst nightmare of my life last night, which woke me up over an hour early, when I already had been tossing all night before the nightmare. I'm scared because, while this one is the new worst, I've been having worse and worse nightmares over the past few months, and the threshold was already pretty high, and I have nightmares at least 2 or 3 times a week, so I'm just really worried about how bad they can possibly get cause I keep thinking "ok it can't get worse than that" but then it does... I'm honestly at the point where I really don't want to sleep anymore because I'm scared of what might happen in my dreams. I know I'm having a bad PTSD flare up right now but it just feels like I don't know what I did to deserve all of this :(
@HumanPersonThingy
Hey there ❤️ It's good to hear from you ❤️
I'm awfully sorry for the terrible night you had. It sounds like nightmares have been bothering you for a really long time, even before things got worse. Perhaps it'll help if you could ask a medical professional for some advice and options ❤️ Nightmares are awful, and I am offering some gentle, comforting hugs ❤️
I want you to know that none of this is your fault. You did not do anything to deserve nightmares, or PTSD, or anything other bad thing that has ever happened to you ❤️ It's not your fault. These things can happen, but they will not last forever ❤️ It might not be easy, but you will get through this
Thank you for checking in with us today ❤️ Take care, and I hope you'll have a restful day
@hopebeyondpain
ugh, I feel so overwhelmed. I feel like that blank spot. Sometimes I worry I am getting worse. I don't know how to deal with the cards I have been dealt. Today and yesterday the most I got done was niether here nor there. I did not clean like my goal has been. Today I went shopping with my husband. We both eat differently than each other. I try to eat healthy, my husband does not. So in the store I pretty much was walking like I was under the influence.. Extremly dissy. People gave dirty looks. It was hard to not fall and pass out into a seizure. I try to fight it as much as possible.
I am trying to clean. It has been a goal of mine. Mostly to prepare to move, due to stress I am done with living where I am at. (I don't stay long in places.. Always "running") I am trying to let it go. I just can't.
One positive thing that happened this week was setting up the apple watch. It was my husbands, he no longer has an iphone so he gave it to me. Since having it, its been a peace of mind thing. Also planning a camping trip so I can get out of the apartment and getting the needed items.
@Mmhuebnermmm
Hey there ❤️ It's good to hear from you
I'm sorry that life has been giving you such a frustrating time ❤️ I can tell that you've tried to do better and it's been a real struggle. I want you to know that I am proud of you for putting in that effort and for trying. It's true that you've been dealt some pretty awful cards, and it's okay you find it more difficult to build healthy habits like cleaning because of them. You are enough, just the way you are, You have nothing to prove ❤️
If you feel as if you're getting worse, perhaps you can try asking a professional about it. There might be something they can do to help you ❤️ Remember that you can be kind to yourself, because you deserve it ❤️
Letting go isn't easy ❤️ You don't have to do it all at once either. I find it much too easy to put some unhelpful expectations on myself, and then feel disappointed when I don't meet them. Allowing myself to do things gently and slowly really helped, so it's something you could try too ❤️
Aww, that's great to hear ❤️ I'm offering you my gentlest hugs and sending some peace and encouragement your way. Thank you for checking in with us today. Take care, and I hope you'll have a restful day ❤️
1. How are you? I'm haning in there. I gave myself two days off as I have been typing and coloring so much that I have been tingly and achy and swollen in my hands.
2. What expectations have you been putting on yourself lately? I have been putting a lot on myself. I wanted a daily word count for my writing and I keep pushing and I have over worked my hands.
Are there any that you can let go off today? I am not letting go, but I am easin up a bit.
3. What is one good thing that happened in the past week? I made some awesome stuffed peppers.
@Rebekahwriter13
Hey Rebekah ❤️ It's good to see you
Wow, it sounds like you've been busy lately. I'm glad to hear you're taking a well-earned break after putting in so much effort ❤️ Your wellbeing is just as important as the work
It can be a major change, so go ahead and take it easy. Easing up the word count is one excellent way to do so. I'm really proud of you for recognising when you need a break and for taking care of your physical needs ❤️
Your stuffed peppers sound delicious. Keep making them! Take care, Rebekah, and I hope you'll have a good day ❤️