Trauma Support Community Check-in: Wednesday-Thursday, 10-11 March 2021
Hello community ❤️
I would first like to apologise for the fact that the team has not been able to post regular check-ins lately. We care deeply about all of you and this community and space we share, but sometimes our personal circumstances force us to take a step back too ❤️
As of now, most of our forum supporters are on self-care breaks, so I will be posting check-ins for the foreseeable future. I may not be able to reply to the things you all share, but know that you are all in my hearts ❤️
Today's check-in is optional, as always, so feel free to lurk, tell us about how you've been, or simply say hi to the people here ❤️
Life can be confusing and overwhelming sometimes, so taking time to reflect and take inventory on what's happening in our lives can help us figure out our next steps.
Take a minute to listen to your heart:
1. What is right or good?
2. What is wrong or bad?
3. What is confused?
4. What is missing?
Tagging: @adaptableLake3534 @adventurousBranch3786 @AstronomySkies @AveryLove @BeenAKiwi @BillyJoeBobb @blueScarf9326 @BrokenDreamsPalace @BrokenMedic @CaptainTrev @CaringBrit @clare7199 @Colorfulcatsofhope @communicativeYard2325 @CoolBeans29 @crimsonLime6525 @crxxtvfl0w @depressedsatellite1452 @DinaElwy @domesticEmerald50s @emylly @Feathersfall @FigureskatingEquestrian @Fireskye13 @Fleggles @Gagaintheroom @gentleLand5245 @goldenSpruce1512 @Grandmaof10 @gregariousBeing5071 @hillsideblues @honestpanda81 @HonestWarrior6624 @HopeNChayil @HumanPersonThingy @Hydrangea03 @InfinityandBeyond23 @Itisbailey @jr50 @jupitermatilde @Kekesea11 @Kickiree @Kimmkimm @LightofWorld @Lilly28 @littleHuman9247 @littleOtter1342 @lovehummingbirdsCindy @LovelyOrangeJuice @lowkeyem1001 @Lubo123 @Luchelle @maya6548 @Mellietronx @mkaitx @mytwistedsoul @navyMango2804 @neatBlueberry3608 @neonDog3649 @NevaehRose @Nolanhm @nonethewiser @NoneTheWiser @notmyselftoday @npos25 @oceancruiser48 @OffDutySeraph @OneWithSugar @ottersngiggles @Parvlakin @pencilmarks @PinkestOctopus @purpleWheel873 @QuietLotus @rainbow3140 @Randomperson453 @ReallyRuth @Rebekahwriter13 @Redhawk6547 @redmark @Rosa9570 @SarahAlaina15 @scarletPear1945 @sensitiveShade5337 @shiningDay80 @Silverviolets @sleepingd0gg0 @SnippyHam @SoulSupporter102 @stickercollection @Summer899 @SynSavory @Taylorz27 @tealOak8933 @The0Vetoed0System @TheFisherKing @ThisIsLogan @ThreadbareThinker @TransparentPuzzle @Turtlegrrrl8 @u1146 @Understandingempath @UndomesticGoddess @WarriorHeartsSystem @weepingwillow5489 @Worrior22Warrior @Writersworld
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1. What is right or good? I am writing and I have an awesome guy
2. What is wrong or bad? My guy's ex is pushing pills on him because his been feeling off. I just hope he says no.
3. What is confused? My family may have an option to better our living situation, but I feel they a family memeber is pulling us down.
4. What is missing? Confirmations and answers.
@Rebekahwriter13
Hey Rebekah ❤️ Wow, I'm glad to hear you're writing, it sounds like something you're passionate about ❤️ This guy seems to make you really happy, I'm happy for you ❤️ Even though he's been having a hard time, I can see that you believe in him; I truly hope he says no to the pills too ❤️
Some choices can be difficult and confusing, especially when another family member seems to make things worse. Even though we can't control what other people do, we can try to make the best out of the situation we're in. One problem at a time, Rebekah ❤️, I will be praying for you
@hopebeyondpain, Hi! Thanks for the check-in. I miss answering questions. :)
1. What is right or good? Helping people in need is good. Making a check-in is an example. :D
2. What is wrong or bad? Daddy issues. Hahaha.
3. What is confused? I don't know what to do with my research paper. It's literally my last activity for this school year. Instead of doing it, I am focusing my attention on other activities. Wahaha. My concentration is terrible right now.
4. What is missing? Trust and Freedom. Sometimes, I wish that my parents aren't so overprotective. That way, I will not be afraid to tell them everything about how I feel.
Have a nice day!
@SnippyHam
Hey there! ❤️ It is so good to hear from you too ❤️. Aww, thank you for your kind words. Being able to listen to all of you and get to know each of you better through these check-ins always warm my heart. No matter what kind of issues you're facing, know that it's not your fault, and we are here for you no matter what ❤️
I really relate to your research paper struggles. Deciding on a good topic and finding good sources and ideas can be so time-consuming and tedious. If it helps, you could some common tips to help with your concentration. These include breaking the work down into concrete, acheivable steps you can take every day, sitting down and forcing yourself to write something, and giving yourself a set amount of time to do some of the work before allowing yourself to go back to the other activities you're working on ❤️
I can really relate to having overprotective parents too ❤️ Our parents are flawed, and sometimes it really hurts us. If it is difficult for you to open up at home, we are here for you, and you can share with us what's on your mind whenever you like. We might not be able to control what our parents do, but we can rely on one another to be there and listen ❤️
Have a good day too, Snippy ❤️
@hopebeyondpain
1. I have a job
2. How people can live so carefree after hurting another human so badly
3. I am. Why didn't I deserve to be treated with dignity?
4. Answers and closure.
@creativeShip8033
Hey there ❤️
It's good to hear you have a job, it's an important part of taking care of yourself physically. Emotionally, it sounds like you've been having a really difficult time. I'm sorry for all the awful things you've been through. You didn't deserve them.
After being hurt, we often search for answers and try to rationalise what happened, because we're trying to protect ourselves by making sure it doesn't happen again. The truth is: we might never be able to understand what makes a person hurt others remorselessly. It doesn't seem fair or right. It certainly doesn't make us feel safe about the other people we meet and interact with.
Still, your ability to heal and move on doesn't depend on someone else's behaviour or excuses. They do not have that much power, to permanently hold you back from learning to love and respect yourself. We cannot control the actions of other people, but we can learn to heal without needing the person who hurt us to be a part of the process. We don't need someone else's validation to move on and make everything okay.
It might seem unfair to allow ourselves to carry on with life when the person who hurt us has not expressed any remorse about it or tried to make it up to you. It can be difficult to let go of these experiences, after all the pain they have caused. But you deserve to live a life of dignity and joy. You deserve to decide for yourself what your next step is going to be. You deserve to live free from the things other people have done.
We may never get answers or closure. For a long time, that might really ache, and that's okay. But we do what we can with what we have ❤️ The steps we take don't have to be big, as long as they take us in the right direction ❤️
@hopebeyondpain This is beautiful - I hope it's ok that I took some comfort in what you wrote - thank you
@hopebeyondpain
1.What is right or good? The weather is finally taking a turn for the better. Seeds have been started for the garden.
2. What is wrong or bad? Some days is feels like everything is. Mistakes have been made. Things said that shouldn't have been and now its too late.
3. What is confused? Feelings and thoughts. What's right and wrong. How things are seen and perceptions are just so skewed. But that could be wrong too lol. See what I mean? (Smh)
4. What is missing? My voice lol. Should have kept this mouth shut before about things and didn't. Now there's consequences and the words are more of a struggle.
Thank you for the check-in. Take care.
@mytwistedsoul
❤️ Just because
@crimsonLime6525 Lime - thank you ❤ made me cry
@mytwistedsoul I didn't mean to make you cry, I'm sorry
@crimsonLime6525 Please no - don't be sorry. It was a good kind of cry. That heart meant alot and it came when I really needed to see it ❤
@mytwistedsoul
Hey there ❤️
The turning of the weather can be so soothing and uplifting, I'm glad you've been able to take that in and take care of your garden ❤️
I know of those days ❤️ Some days truly are awful. We are flawed human beings, who sometimes make terrible mistakes. And of course, these aren't things we can ever take back or change. I'm sorry ❤️
I can't pretend to be able to imagine what it feels like to be in your position. I read your responses and posts, and I can feel the turmoil from across the screen. I feel in my heart the regret and bitterness, and I only wish I could ease the weight on yours. Feelings can be so treacherous. They don't often represent the truth of the situation, yet they demand to be heard and processed. It feels wrong to lean into them, when we're still so angry with ourselves. If only that pain could take away any of the guilt.
Some days remind us of everything that it wrong with the world and with us. That's okay. We don't have to live in the past. The only thing we can change is the remaining time we've been given, and the life we still have inside of us. There is courage in letting go, and strength in choosing the next right step. You are capable of doing what's right for you.
I hope tides of time will slowly wash away the bad, and I hope the gentle touch of sunlight will bring rest for the weary. Take care ❤️
@hopebeyondpain Thank you. Thank you so much for your words and your kindness. I think I've read your word half a dozen times. I know you're right. There is courage in letting go and strength in choosing the next step - some times the fear and uncertainty leaves me feeling frozen - afraid of more missteps and mistakes. I have a really hard time with emotions. Doesn't matter which ones - as soon as they get uncomfortable they get shut down. I know I have to deal with them soon. I have to at least start with them. Small steps are better then no steps and we have to move forward at some point because we can't change the past - we can shape our future - we have to try anyway
Thank you ❤ Take care too
