Traumatic Experience Community Daily Check-in: Wednesday, January 23rd
Hi all,
A common thread I've seen lately both in the forums and in discussions are anxiety about sleeping or beds. This is turn creates a difficult time both falling asleep and staying asleep. Anxiety about beds and sleeping could exist for a few reasons, such as the trauma you experienced took place in a bed, in THAT bed, or while you were sleeping. Another thing that could cause anxiety about sleep is if you suffer from nightmares. It's is difficult to willingly enter into a situation where you know you'll be scared. Other reasons sleep could cause anxiety is a fear of the dark or a fear of closing your eyes... perhaps because you are in a state of hypervigilence, you do not feel safe so you feel you must keep your eyes open.
So how to combat this?? One way could be systematic desensitization. First, make sure that your bed is in a room that you feel safe and secure in. Perhaps also having an extra pillow or stuffed animal will help with soothing as well. Steps should be taken either a couple hours or a couple days apart from each other. They are as follows:
1. Find something that calms you, such as meditation, deep breathing, muscle relaxation, grounding. Meditations and relaxations for sleep can be found on youtube or on various meditation apps. Meditating for sleep appears to be a common thing... the ability to clear your mind and relax the body is a necessary component for sleep, so it makes sense that the topic is popular. Feel free to link your favourites in the comments.
2. Start by sitting on your bed during the day randomly, and do one of your calming exercises. Try your best to stay until you are completely calm.
3. Try lying down on the bed during the day. Proceed with relaxing until completely calm. Make sure every last whisp of anxiety melts into the bed, away from you.
4. Sitting on the bed at night.
5. Lying on the bed at night (but not necessarily intending to sleep).
6. Do one of your relaxing things every night before trying to sleep. Let your muscles completely relax into the bed, no longer needing to fight gravity. Let your worry and anxieties melt away out of your body.
Learning to reassociate sleeping and the bed with calm can take a bit of time, but knowing that it's a problem and working to fix it is a big part of the solution. Over time using strategies like this should help, and if your recovery is going on as normal, then a reduced anxiety overall from that will help as well, especially with the nightmares.
Do you have any other ideas for how to improve sleep anxiety? How do these steps sound to you?
Sweet Dreams!!
If your sleep is fine or you jsut don't want to think about that right now, how are you feeling? Thanks for checking in today :)
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@Hoxenos awesome topic Hox how are you feeling
@CaringBrit
I am A-OK. It's a blizzard here today but I decided to go out and get some groceries anyway because I've put it off for a long time. I also did my laundry and tackled a difficult social situation that I was dreading, so all in all a productive day! How are you?
@Hoxenos im good and definetly sounds productive been relaxing mainly today
@Hoxenos
Great information! I personally have trouble initiatating sleep at night. I tend to drag myself up right before I fall asleep, I go check the door locks, fridge door, patio light and all sorts of things one more time. When I am experiencing higher level of anxiety, I tend to do this multiple times. Takes me quite sometimes to finally get back on my bed.
I will try to spend some time on my bed during the day time from now on. Thank you Hoxenos!
@Jackie
No problem! I hope some of these strategies help. Remember to not get discouraged if you don't see results right away, stuff like this can take practise. You'll get it <3 Plus if you know it's goign to be harder when you're more anxious, you can deliberately take steps to self soothe more before sleep on those days. Knowing our warning signs can be so useful in this :)
Sleep has been really hard for me lately. Then things seem worse because I'm so tired. Thank you for the tips.
@RedHawk6547
Absolutely, when we aren't getting enough quantity or quality sleep, everything else gets 10x harder. So sometimes working on our building blocks liek sleep, eating, drinking water, hygiene, and exercise feels so silly, but they can make a ton of difference on mental health. I hope some of the tips work for you <3
I tend to sleep deeply and fall asleep quickly, but I have stressful dreams, nightmares, or anxious, restless sleep. I used to be embarrassed about sleeping with stuffed animals, but they keep my anxiety at bay. I also watch ASMR to help ease me into a more restful sleep. I tried sleeping without ASMR for a couple nights (because I don't want to be dependant on it, it's just an aid, though there's nothing wrong with that! It's just how I feel about it. I like to be self-sufficient.) and I had really terrible sleep. Then, last night, I slept with ASMR and woke up refreshed!
@betterchoices I understand the fear of being dependant on something. Perhaps there is a way to replicate what ASMR does within your body. Like next time you do it, pay attention to how it makes you feel and the effects on your body. Try to do that without it. Or maybe trying to do like... half ASMR, half you doing it yourself. It could be like teaching yourself to fish instead of taking a fish every day :) I'm glad that you found something that works for you, and even if you can't replicate it otherwise, people use aids for thigns all the time. Some people need ear plugs, others need the eye cover thing, just for sleep alone! It's nothing to feel bad about, especially if it reliably works!