Traumatic Experience Community Daily Check-in: Wednesday, November 28
Hi all! Today I'd like to talk about animals!

I grew up with pets, and whether or not I owned them, I always loved looking at pictures or petting friends' pets or whatever. I grew up with dogs but had no pets while in school. I found it to be pretty lonely without them. I then got some cats but after a messy break up, I had to part ways with them. One day I think I'd like to work my way up to owning a dog again. I think maybe I'll adopt one, but I've always had a thing for this one particular breed, so maybe I'll save up for it one day.
I'd love to hear about your pets!
Do you think your pets have helped you mentally or emotionally? How? Have they helped with your recovery in any way?
If you don't have pets/don't intend to ever have pets, I'd love to hear why?

This is the breed I want! The Nova Scotia Duck Tolling Retriever!! As an extra pat on the back for doing the check in, try your best to reply to one other person in the thread today :)
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Hello.
No pets currently. I would like a dog but live with my parents theyre older and dont want the hassle of a dog. Maybe someday.
I am struggling today. Right now anyway. Sometimes I just get this feeling of like I dont even deserve to be alive. Why did I survive? I didnt think I was going to. Sometimes just dont feel like youre good enough to live. I am hanging in there it is really hurting right now. I dont even know why I lived. Sorry. Nothing makes sense to me right now. Sorry, having a hard time right now I guess. Positive feedback would be appreciated
@pioneeringBanana1598
You are doing what you can, and that's what's important. If these particular feelings about surviving are what's weighing you down today, it's ok to focus on the problem at hand, and not get weighed down by the feeling that you're not good enough because today you're doing your best you can, and that's ok. All we can do with each moment is accept it as it is and thinking about what we can do with what does exist, instead of what could have or should have. There are infinite possibilities of outcomes and going down that rabbit hole is very deep. Just let yourself focus on one thing at a time. You are worth surviving. Youa re worth being here. We want you to be here and be alive with us. We are happy you're here. There is nothing to apologize for <3
@Hoxenos
Thank you
@pioneeringBanana1598
Sometimes when I have these kinds of thoughts, I think about something outside myself to get a different perspective. Like I think about all the people on Earth and each of them going about their lives with their struggles. I think about people here going through all sorts of different things and how I'm not really as alone or weird as I thought. I think about the sun, moon, stars, and planets all out there just going about seemingly without a purpose but also coexisting with each other and gravity keeping the galaxy together. I think about how it was all created and how everything in it is connected, how time and history evolved to get where we are now. I believe every single person was born for a reason, that every person we interact with has the potential to teach us something, and that we are probably teaching them something even without knowing it. Just being here, we have no idea who might be reading our words and getting inspiration from them, even in our darkest moments. You matter. You have purpose and worth. You survived for a reason. You're here right now for a reason.
Sorry if that was sorta out-there. It's the only thing I can think of sometimes that gets me out of that hole. Hope maybe something in it helps.
@SentientiaPoecile
Thanks. It did help a little. I appreciate that. Still struggling but positive reminders are good.
I had a dog for 13 years, she was my family and my friend. Now she is gone and I am alone... and I remember how sweet and gentle she was, and she knew when I was struggling and she was just there... I remember and so sorry to her that she suffered in the end, and maybe life with me was difficult, she may have been better elsewhere... though I miss her everyday and hate the feeling of loss... I tell myself that its worth it for the love and companionship, security, just having something to love and something that loved me back and not cause harm to me... but I wonder which hurt is greater... losing something special or never having it in the first place... 😢
@Hoxenos
I have always had pets, but the one that touched me the most is my dog Riley. I had to rehome her in July and I wrote this poem about her. I miss her incredibly all of the time, but I just hope she's in a happy family near the mountains and making another person happy. Here's a picture. I also got a tattoo in memory of her. And now I have Gigi, but I have to share her with others in the house and I don't want to share her. She's a 13 year old shitzu.

(Me and the Gigi, she didn't want to take a picture so she looked at the camera and then went back to sleep before I snapped the photo. But I'm her safe person.)

(My tattoo: infinity sign with a heart and paw prints, for always in my heart. THis was right after it was done, it's much cleaner now, but I got this one for my Christmas present.)

(Riley and I during my graduation photos. Look how happy she is.)
Love at first site
Your energy brightened my day
Unsure what i was looking for
You chose me.
The love radiating from you
Healed my broken heart.
I took you home
We became best friends
You taught me how to love
And how to be loved.
Never in my life
Had I ever felt like I mattered
Bringing you into my life
Has saved my life.
You gave me a reason
To hold on
I know I havent always
Been the best mom.
Ive been selfish
And left you alone too much
I took your presence for granted
I didnt provide you the life you deserve
But never have I ever
Felt the love I have for you.
Since the day I adopted you
The thought of saying goodbye
Was a thought I couldnt handle
I hoped wed have many, many years
And memories together
But sometimes life is unfair
And we have to say goodbye
Before we are ready.
This situation sucks
More than words can portray
Neither of us are ready
And its not your fault
Im so sorry I let him hurt you
And make you sick
I just pray you get to live
The long happy life you deserve
Even if I never get to see you again.