Traumatic Experiences Community Check-In 12-13 Wednesday-Thursday August 2020

Good morning everyone! In todays check-in I will be discussing one of the most common adult symptoms of childhood trauma which is Isolation. This is something that does not only affect those who have experienced trauma. Many individuals feel isolated. People who have experienced severe trauma in their lives are at a higher risk of experiencing isolation. In part the urge to isolate is somewhat learned and used as a protective measure when an individual is feeling traumatized. Maybe we become masters at cutting off the connection from whom we deem to be dangerous people; even doing so with a smile on our face interacting just enough with the outside world to make it appear as if we are alright.

This tendency to isolate could also be neurological, or a change in the way our brains developed during our early stages of growth because we did not get the attention and connection which children need to grow neurons that support connection with other individuals. If that is the cause this will be something that those individuals will have to work harder to overcome than people who have the innate ability to connect with others. For many who experience childhood trauma it is a sort of developmental delay.

For starters Isolation is much different that solitude. Solitude on one hand is a choice one makes to be by themselves in order to focus and collect themselves before returning to their normal level of connection with other people. Many of us who have endured past trauma often have a difficult time choosing solitude when we need it. Isolation on the other hand is much different. Isolation is a state of living with very little connection to other people often without meaningful relationships. If isolation gets so bad that it blocks us from being happy or functional perhaps a shift is in order. Accomplishing this can be very difficult because once life becomes stressful, which often happens, PTSD symptoms can make us want to isolate even further.

Loneliness itself is a huge factor when it comes to the development of Complex PTSD. It is also a factor which causes the symptoms of PTSD to last for a much longer duration than they otherwise would. The best chances to overcome the harmful effects of CPTSD and childhood PTSD such as depression or the increased risk of serious health problems, is to strengthen the ability to safely make a connection with other people. Loneliness is not just painful emotionally. It becomes poison to our bodies. It cuts us off from many healing opportunities almost like restricting ourselves, giving us little space for movement.

It is not uncommon for individuals who have been severely abused to feel resigned to loneliness, especially as they get older. Learning to connect with others however, is definitely worth the struggle. The best way to overcome isolation is to take change in small doses, trying something new and seeing how much we can tolerate it. Then we try a little more while checking again to see how well our tolerance for this change is. We dont have to go out and change everything all at once. Baby steps are usually the best long term strategy.

A common misconception is that by doing things all alone being independent makes us strong. In reality living without the love and care of others does not lead to strength. A couple things to keep in mind about isolation is that it is normal for survivors of trauma to feel this way. It is very common especially in those who experience trauma very early in life. We do have the capacity to walk forwards out of isolation, one step at a time, no matter how reclusive we may have become.

So before I end this check-in I will ask you all three optional questions.

1. How are you feeling today?

2. Do you currently isolate yourself from others?

3. If yes to the second question, what steps would you consider taking or have you taken to overcome this sense of isolation? If no, what helped you to not become isolated after experiencing trauma?

As always my friends I hope you have a greater today than yesterday in hopes of a better and brighter tomorrow!!!

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