Traumatic Experiences Community Check-In 1 July 2020

Good morning everyone! Today I have decided to do something a little more personal. Todays topic is change. Throughout all of our lives we experience changes both positive and negative. We may not have the same social circles as adults compared to when we are children. Our mindset will likely change over time. Our focus in life will also likely change. So I will discuss some of the changes in my own life and leave everything open for you all to talk about any changes both negative and positive you would like to discuss.

I for one grew up in a low income household mostly raised by a single mother. I lived in a predominantly black neighborhood in an urban area most of my life. Hearing gunshots was normal for me growing up. I was the only non black person in my daycare as a child and ultimately all of my friends were not of the same ethnicity as I am. It was unique and provided me with a learning environment which is outside the norm for many others I went to school with. I never really fit in with any one group of people in school. Instead I would venture around and associate with everyone whether it was the goth kids or the prep crowd. I tried to never isolate myself from the whole.

Instead there was a desire to be accepted by all. I never encountered a problem with this until I reached High School. My mother relocated to a rural area my freshman year and it was then that I truly encountered racism. I found myself being accosted for associating with black classmates by the overwhelming majority of biased students in the school. It eventually led to us moving once again to an urban area due to the problems I had encountered in the school due to my acceptance of everyone. It was then that I found High School to be a wonderful place and I excelled those last two years, making many friends along the way, but I have never forgotten about the hatred faced at the other school.

With the changes currently happening in this nation I reflect back on those two years alot. I think about the direction things are going in and while we can speculate all we want about how its all going to go, the truth is that change is necessary. This world is ever changing and sometimes it is unpredictable and much of the time that change is scary for all of us. None of us expected this year to go the way it has. Sure I had my assumptions but even those have not panned out in some cases. My mind always considers worst case scenarios with current events. Ive always believed in preparing for the worst but expecting the best out of every situation life throws at us.

We never fully know what will happen next so I hope for the best because I would rather be disappointed by a result than to be correct with a negative assumption.

I used to be a pessimist always seeing the worst in everything so I suppose that is one way I have changed over the years. I spent years isolating myself at home once High School was over. I went from being very social in school to being a shut in for much of my twenties. The biggest change occurred when I was 27 and decided to give away my home and take off walking like Forrest Gump did in the movie. I didnt know where exactly I was going but I felt I needed to experience life without anticipation of what will happen next. I craved adventure and felt if I did not make such a drastic decision I would remain in isolation the rest of my life. That moment changed my life for the best. Two thousand miles later I found myself living with Native Americans out in the desert. I became a farmer during that time and learned so much on my travels. Sure it was not easy but it was fun and it was the adventure I wanted it to be. The moral of my story is that sometimes it pays off to literally chase your dreams in life. Change is not always a bad thing that should be feared. Ive learned to embrace change in all its forms, even the negative ones. Its hard finding myself being forced into isolation again with this pandemic but ultimately I know things will open up again in time.

We will get back to living our lives as closely to the way we did before as we can, but it will likely never be the same as it was then. This does not necessarily have to be a bad thing. I for one have learned to cherish life so much more during all of this. Every life is precious and my heart goes out to anyone that has lost somebody during this time. My heart goes out to all who are affected by it.

There are some who will read this who are working everyday to help those infected with the virus and I truly admire all of them for doing the good work they do. Those souls often dont receive the appreciation they deserve. Anyone who takes this challenging time to lift the spirits of others has my admiration. Those of you who are crushed by the weight of your own struggles have my support. My PMs are open to any of you. If you ever find yourself struggling and just feel like venting to someone, that is what Im best utilized for. The first year I spent on 7 cups was nonstop 1:1 chats with members where more often than not they desired a nonjudgmental place to vent. These days Im focusing more and more time in the forums because I feel I can make a larger impact this way. So this is yet another change that is good in many ways but I still miss having so many 1:1 chats at times. I will do my best to make time for all of you as much as I can going forward. My latest change is being made as I type this. My laptop is the last thing being packed up for my move out of state and Ill be en route there this evening.

We all experience changes in our lives but it is up to us to be able to see the positive qualities of them or to dwell on the negative ones. So I will ask you all these four questions before ending this check-in:

1. What changes have you experienced over the course of your life?

2. What positive outlook are you able to gain from these changes?

3. What changes do you look forward to in the future?

4. What do you look forward to the most when the shutdown has ended?

I do hope you all have a greater today than yesterday in hopes for a better and brighter tomorrow my friends!!!

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