Traumatic Experiences Community Check In for February 10th, 2019

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Welcome back.

I do feel like Im getting better, yes. Feeling more like a person than in a long time.

Good friend of mine just got engaged. He & I liked each other for a long time. We actually dated & it didnt work out. So, on the one hand, I hope hes happy & it works out for him. But its also sort of a loss. I had an idea in my head of what he & I could be for a LONG time. And he used to be one of my closest friends. Thats all changed now. Someone else, rightfully so, now has the first & foremost claim in his attention & time. Its hard to give that up. And its hard to picture him with someone else. Its ok, but since I dont have a significant other nor am I looking for one right now - focusing on getting myself healthier first - it is a little more isolating. Even though i know he & I arent a good match, its still hard. I always thought it was going to be him. Hes the only person Ive ever really loved, in that kind of a way.

Guess I had a lot on my mind. Didnt realize it!

*How are you? Hows your week? My weekend I have been in pain as I have very heavy female health issues. . . I have been to three OBYGN and Three family doctors. I see my newest family doctor tomorrow. I hope he will listen to me and maybe we can map out a plan with new specialists and figure out how to perementally stop my problems.

* How far do you feel are from being recovered? I'm not sure if I am recovered just yet. . . I'm still in the process of dealing with things.

* Do you feel you are making progress? It's a day to day thing as my many health issues can easily mess up my process,

i feel like i made a big step today. i made an appointment with a therapist, the first one i will be seeing about my trauma. i'm happy about moving forward but nervous about starting therapy because i don't know what i will uncover or how it will go. i can't sleep tonight because i'm really anxious about it. but i'm happy to finally be dealing with these things i've had inside for so long.