Traumatic Experiences Community Daily Check-In: February 29th, 2020
Good Morning To Our Trauma Community!
Hello everyone! I hope you are having a great day so far. Please feel free to answer the following:
1. Is there anything bothering or upsetting you today?
2. Have you ever been unable to sleep? What do you do with your time then?
3. What is the most adventurous thing you have ever done in your life?
Stay Beautiful My Friends!
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@PeppermintStar0912
1. Is there anything bothering or upsetting you today?
My signing day is this Wednesday (signing day is a celebration for all the seniors who received an athletic scholarship) and it's always a great event at my school and all of us student athletes look forward to it. I told my mom about it and she yelled at me and said if I have any respect for her, I wouldn't go. The thing is, I got cut from the high school varsity team and I've let the whole thing go and moved past it a while ago. I learned from it and stopped holding on to all the anger and frustration. However, she is still very angry at my coach for cutting me as a senior, and she takes it personally. Honestly it wasn't personal, about 20 kids didn't make it this year. Looking back now, no, he did not realistically have it out for me. My mom has a different picture in her mind and she thinks me going to the signing party is somehow beneath me. She was like "Seriously Emirson, you get slapped and you're just going to turn your other cheek?" No, I'll learn to fight back and show everybody that getting knocked down once doesn't mean I'll give up. Coming back from a disappointment like that and still getting where I need to be... I think THAT is an example I should be setting. I'm a high school senior for all it's worth, not a five year old with an attitude problem.
2. Have you ever been unable to sleep? What do you do with your time then?
Many times. Before tests, before games (and after games too, especially if we lose), as a result of PTSD, before big events - you name it! I usually try to do something productive with the time, there's no point in trying to force myself to sleep if it's not going to happen anyway. I either go outside to practice (but my 3-year old brother sleeps in my room so if I leave, I have to take him too), do house chores, get ahead on homework, or do anything else that needs to be done. I don't make it into a free time because then I'd be tempted to stay up late on purpose. I have my own rule that if I can't sleep, I'll have to get up and do something productive.
3. What is the most adventurous thing you have ever done in your life?
Get on a 200 foot high rollercoaster! My brother was afraid to sleep with the lights off and he knew I have a fear of heights. So I made him a deal - if I get on Sheikra at Busch Gardens (which pulls you up 200 feet at a 75 degree angle, drops you straight down, and then turns you upside down once), then he'll agree to try to sleep without the light on. Let's just say... I almost had a heart attack but I did it. Someone had to set a good example :)
@Emirson2018
Awwwww it's so wonderful how you try to set a good example for your little brother! And I also think you're right about your mother. Maybe she doesn't accept critics and doesn't want to see her own mistakes, and this extends to you. She blames others for your (totally human and legit) mistakes, so that she can still think that she's a perfect mother that raised a perfect child who's always right. Besides when you're not of her same opinion. Whatever is the reason for your mother not accepting reality and yelling at you, it makes you honor that you could distance yourself from your mother's behavior and develop your own way to rationally interpret the circumstances. I think your brother has a wonderful example in you.
@GhostlyLilian
thank you so much Lilian! You're the wonderful one 
@Emirson2018 Hi there friend! Oh my gosh, how exciting that you had signing day last Wednesday! That sounds like a fantastic celebration. How did it go for you? I'm really sorry for the reaction that your mom had when you told her about it. I just have to comend you for your attitude though. You are so mature, kind, and logical! I really love how you said that you are a high school senior and not a five year old with an attitiude problem. You are definitley setting a good example and you should be proud of yourself because I sure am proud of you! I like your rule you have on not sleeping. Doing something productinve is the best way to go. Great job! I have a tremendous fear of roller coasters so I think you are very brave for doing that for you brother (and also very sweet for helping him with his fear)! Thank you for sharing this with me and checking in. Have a lovely day!
@PeppermintStar0912
1. Is there anything bothering or upsetting you today?
Panic attacks, flashbacks, realy bad anxiety. It's only been getting worse these days.
2. Have you ever been unable to sleep? What do you do with your time then?
As a chronic insomniac, yeah. Music, reading, writing. Quiet things that won't wake my family.
3. What is the most adventurous thing you have ever done in your life?
"It would be an awfully big adventure to live" - from Peter Pan by James Berrie. There are a lot of ways to live, but I guess getting to know people is the most adventurous thing I've done. And letting my friends get to know me too. I was able to tell them about the panic attacks today, even though I couldn't say why it was happening. It's a step forward. Finally called my therapist back, but got voicemail, so I left a message. Another step forward. I'm having an awfully big adventure right now.
4. Thank you.
I like the quote, it's very true. It reminds me of a story I'm writing as a way to cope and heal, one I think I'll work on today. Thanks for checking up on us. Regular updates are helping me keep track of my progress, the highs and lows. I'm really thankful for this community.
@HunterRose Hi there friend. I'm really sorry to hear about the attacks and flashbacks you've been having. It must be so frustrating for you to feel as though it's only getting worse. Does self-care help you at all during these times? I have insomnia too and it can be really horrible, especially when you get to a couple days of no sleep! I like what you do when you can't sleep. I take walks, clean, and come on here! It is helpful. Getting to know people and yourself is a huge adventure to be on actually! I'm so happy for the steps that you're taking to move forward and I'm so glad you were able to tell your friends that you have panic attacks. Strive for progress, not perfection. You are doing a really good job! I'm glad you liked the quote. I feel like it really means a lot and you are right about it being true! I'm glad that the check-ins help you. They really help me too because I get to connect with everyone! Thank you for sharing this with me and checking in. Have a lovely day!
@PeppermintStar0912 Hello!
Self-care definitely helps after the worst of it passes. Journalling used to be my go to way of coping with overwhelming feelings, but with the recent trauma it only makes it worse. I've found that light hearted shows for distraction and writing fiction helps more with it these days, so I'm really glad I've found an alternative. Ah, I'm sorry about the inomnia, it is very frustrating to deal with. I'm glad you have activities that help you :) Yeah, 7cups has helped me a lot too. Trauma can be really isolating, so it's good to connect with a community focussed on connecting and supporting each other through what ever comes. Thanks for sharing with me too. Have a good day!
Today was a lot better that I would have expected. What could have been a very triggering morning turned out to be positive and in the afternoon I got creative and did a lot of stuff. Now I'm going to sleep trying to recover from last night, because I had sleep issues. And when I do, I just lay in bed until I fall asleep. Luckily it works for me. It could be way worse.
@GhostlyLilian Hi there friend. I am so very happy to hear that you had a good day! It is so helpful when our days turn out to be positive, especially when we are expecting them to be negative- It's a really nice surprise I think! How wonderful that you were able to get creative and get stuff done! I hope you got the rest you needed. It can get tough on us mentally when we don't get the sleep we need. Thank you for checking in with me and have a lovely day!
1. Is there anything bothering or upsetting you today?
My mother was just released from the hospital yesterday after having a stroke earlier this week. I am her caregiver and do not live close to her. I do caregiving from a distance, and the past week has been one of the worse times in my life. What makes it worse it that my mother is the only family that I have. My anxiety has been off the charts and I feel like a hamster on a wheel.
2. Have you ever been unable to sleep? What do you do with your time then?
If I cannot sleep, I will likely read or go online to find something to occupy or distract myself, like watch a TV show or movie.
3. What is the most adventurous thing you have ever done in your life?
I am a very shy person and haven't done anything very adventurous.
@amusingCranberry1537 Hi there friend. I'm so sorry to hear about what you have been going through and about your mom having a stroke. I hope she is okay. That must be so hard for you to be her caregiver but not live close to her. That seems like it could put a heavy strain on you to constantly have to go back and forth. It's unfortunate that you are going through so much anxiety. Does self-care help you during these times? Distracting yourself when you can't sleep is a very good thing to do so great job. I read and watch TV too when I'm having issues falling and staying asleep. Thank you for sharing this with me and checking in. Have a lovely day.
@PeppermintStar0912
Thank you for your kind words. I do everything remotely because I don't like to spend too much time in the town where Mom lives because I don't trust the neighbours and she lives in a small town where gossip is common. I wish that I had my driver's licence because I don't want to bother people to get them to drive me somewhere. It is just too much, and right now, I think that I am very close to losing what little sanity I have left. I talk to Mom on the phone several times a day and I need to find some way to deal with my anxiety as soon as possible. I see my doctor tomorrow morning and am looking forward to the appointment.
1. Is there anything bothering or upsetting you today?
Maybe...
2. Have you ever been unable to sleep? What do you do with your time then?
Yes. Usually I read or draw
3. What is the most adventurous thing you have ever done in your life?
Aw man, I soooo wish that I could go on more adventures! I've been to a waterfall with a bunch of rocks to climb and I've hiked in the woods before
@AlexFox800 Hi there friend. I'm sorry if there are things that are bothering you today. I read too when I can't sleep and I think that is really cool that you draw. Not being able to sleep is very difficult but it's good to be productive when it does happen. Wow- That is amazing that you've been to a waterfall and hiked in the woods before. Being among nature is truly the greatest adventure! Thank you for sharing this with me and checking in. Have a lovely day!
@PeppermintStar0912
First post to this site, so here goes.
1)Bothering you. Well, I've been in counseling for a couple months to learn how to cope after growing up in a physically and emotionally abusive home and still being in contact wth the abusers. I've had panic attacks, flashbacks, anxiety, regarding having to be around them and struggled wth subsequent self harm. So, I found out the other day that my counselor is leaving.....right as I finally trusted her. She wants to meet a few more times, but I don't want to. Alot of abandonment issues flared up. I'm usually a calm person, but I kinda lost it. Now I'm too embarrassed to go back. And found someone ele to take me on.....but I don't want to trust anyone else again to that degree.
2) Sleeping....sometimes. But my cat knows when I wake up or am upset, and she snuggles up against me and starts purring really loudly till I can calm down and sleep.
3)Bravest thing. Decided to pursue my passion of competitive figure skater. Went cliff diving (well jumping). Spent a summer teaching English in the Czech Republic.
@Figuresk8ter Hi there friend. Welcome to our Trauma community! It is so wonderful to have you here. I'm sorry that you grew up in a physically and emotionally abusive home. I did as well and it was very traumatizing. I wish you didn't have to go through that. That is really unfortunate that the therapist that you were starting to trust is leaving. I can see how that would bring up abandonment issues. I hope your new therpaist works out and you can start to feel safe again. I love that your cat can help you go back to sleep when you are having issues with it! You have certainly done some pretty brave things for sure! Thank you for sharing this with me and checking in. Have a lovely day.
1. Is there anything bothering or upsetting you today?
Posted about this elsewhere but there doesn't seem to be a listener here who actually talks about eating disorders. I joined the ED community which was a mistake because there's so much triggering content there, and I'm ready to and trying to recover. I wish I had trusted my gut because my gut says all ED communities - even recovery driven ones - are bad for me. So I don't plan to go back. It seems like all the listeners that "specialize" in EDs just forgot to pick the topics they really are comfortable with. This makes filtering for listeners very useless. I just want anonymous 1-on-1 help for this. That is all I want.
2. Have you ever been unable to sleep? What do you do with your time then?
Yes, pretty much every night. I lay in bed and stare at the ceiling, take supplements, surf the internet, listen to meditations, lay with my eyes closed, try deep breathing.
3. What is the most adventurous thing you have ever done in your life?
I once went around a college campus (as a high schooler on a class trip) and spoke to random people about their major and why they chose the college. My teachers and classmates were stunned and so was I. My social anxiety tends to be very bad, and definitely got worse after that day. But it felt like I was outside of myself in a trance, I wasn't controlling me. Just happened. Would like to do something else adventurous though. I have a huge urge to just go on a day trip without any plans and very little money.
@Lexloveslife Hi there my friend. It can be very frustrating when we can't find someone to just listen to us. There are people that say they "speacilize" in certain things but unfortunately that's not usually the case. If it's okay with you, I can send you a message from my listener account and you can talk to me if you'd like. I'm not on everyday but I do respond to my messages and I'll just listen to you. I'm really sorry to hear about you not being able to sleep at night. That just recently started happening to me and I'm trying to find different, positive ways to deal with it. Being productive seems to be the best way to go though and I'm going to try some of the things you use! I think it is a very adventerous thing to talk to people you don't know so that's great that you were able to do that- I have social anxiety too so I admire that. Thank you for sharing this with me and checking in. Have a lovely day!
@PeppermintStar0912
Hi, I'm okay with you sending a message. Though your post doesn't imply this, I didn't mean to come across as if no one ever helps me 1-on-1. That's far from true! I've gotten great help, I just get needy when I feel lost and frustrated. Thank you for the offer to help me, I really appreciate this and the social anxiety comradery 
I am a child sexual harassment survivor! Horrible trauma!
@ishika201 Hi there my friend. I'm very sorry for what you have gone through in your life. You are absolutely right- That is horrible trauma and it's awful that this kind of thing happened to you. Thank you for reaching out and being a part of our community. I hope you are getting the support you need on 7 Cups. Have a lovely day.
