Traumatic Experiences Community Daily Check-In Friday April 6th 2018
Good morning survvivors, one and alle. 
Sooo... Child Abuse Awareness Month, this is a tough one indeed. There have been several new forum threads, and most of a week of some hardcore tough issues being discussed in the Check-Ins, it certainly can be overwhelming. Although it has been hard, I have been learning a great amount about myself in reading them as well as alle your replies. Sometimes I learn so many new things of myself it acn be a mite suffocating. When I think "Hej I'm one toasted cookie" I remember a short scene from The Simpsons cartoon when a Dr is telling Mr Burns how he has every disease known to man +dozens more, he follows through by explaining that some how they are alle in perfect balance. Calling it "Three Stooges Syndrome", he explains how the germs Mr Burns has are trapped, like when alle Three Stooges are trying to get through a door at the same time an get stuck. Yep lol I can Identify with that.
So with alle this going on this week and alle month, how are you doing with it? Tough stuff to face indeed but have you learned anything new about yourself? Do share if you feel comfortable.
If it is too much to dwell upon at the moment how about a basic hello, you're here please do say hi. We so love to know how everyone is doing. This is a safe place, and it belongs to you alle,take the liberty to use it.
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@Raveninthelabrynth Thanks for acknowledging that it's tough Maybe my advice (to myself and to others) is to hold it lightly? Borrowed from an Aldous Huxley quote. Take it seriously, but hold it lightly. You (and I) can't undo what happened by feeling horrible and terrible about it or about ourselves now. And it doesn't mean we can't enjoy life until we're 100% fixed. We are like the Japanese bowl and we are in the process of filling our cracks in with gold, becoming even more valuable because we have the cracks in the first place. Maybe we can help stop the same things from happening to other children, I don't know. Sometimes I wonder if I will be forever sad because I did not have the parents I long to have had. I have sought relief by re-visiting my parents, and trying to form NEW relationships with them now. They have been very supportive. Not perfect. Some things are still triggering. I wonder, at what point, to let the past go?
@singercrystalspirit Aldous Huxley eh?
I always thought that was 38 Special "Hold on loosley an don't let got. If you cling too tightly, you're gonna loose control." lol
Exactly hon and very well said. Hugs
@Raveninthelabrynth
Hey everybody... Yeah, this weeks topic were quite hard, but I think it's part of some kind of healing? I think I'm learning a lot, perhaps a bit too much at once, I'm a bit confused, but I'll be fine... Had a stressy day at work and there's lots of chaos at home as well, but well, I'll be fine 😊
Hope you all have a sunny start into weekend ☀️🐇
@courteousNorth5140 Indeed it can be alot. We are here to learn of ourselves, to challange ourselves just a hair beyond our comfort level as much as we can, but also to back off a mite when things are too much and just chill.
Actually for the last two days it's been snowing 
@Raveninthelabrynth
Snowing? Honestly? Well, I like snow, but for my taste it can stay where it belongs, mountains and stuff 😁 luckily here spring finally arrived and we're having a sunny day... Unfortunately I don't feel like going outside today 😕 should go running, but well, can't right now, so well, tomorrow it'll be better again 😊
@courteousNorth5140 We had spring last week lol
@courteousNorth5140 sometymes if we just put ourselves out the door, we find ourselves getting somewhere 
@Raveninthelabrynth
Wise words, indeed 😊 sometimes hard to follow...
@courteousNorth5140 Hej hon, no one ever said simple meant easy
@Raveninthelabrynth
*defeated by Raven's wisdom* 😁 went for a walk instead of running 🙄 feeling better
@courteousNorth5140 Awesome how those endorphins kick in an we lose the gloom
@Raveninthelabrynth The day is fine, I guess. I've learned about some things that occur in child abuse, and I at first never realized that those things might have been happening to me when I was younger. I probably thought it was just normal until it wasn't.
@FangsInsanity we learn many truths here for sure. I have learned much of myself being here.
an Here we are not alone, here we are with others of kind. It's not always easy what we discuss here, but it helps us heal.
chin up hon, it is a beautiful day after alle
@Raveninthelabrynth Yeah, the day isn't the sunniest, but the temperature is pretty good.
I'm feeling a little bit shut down today like there's pretty much nothing there. I can't focus on anything and I have tons of things to do. I'm restless. I can't even sit long enough to watch a movie. I do not want to go to therapy today. If I'm feeling like I am now I can't wait to see how I'll be feeling later tonight...
@ArianaMay Hugs hon, slow down. Alle will be alright.
Perhaps write alle your tasks down and take one thing at a time.
Got it on a piece of paper ye don't have to keep it on your mind so much.
@Raveninthelabrynth morning Raven! Not sure how I'm feeling today.... lots happening this week and daughter #2's having her Psych assessment today. It's important so I'm a bit nervous about conveying everything and all of the right info..... As well as hoping my daughter won't shut down as she usually does and deny anything's wrong - hoping she'll speak up for herself and say how much she has been struggling as that has a lot more weight coming from her. Also feel a lot of her issues stem from manipulation from her dad or at the least her feeling caught in the middle and this is difficult to talk about without feeling like I'll be seen as blaming the other parent.
@purpleWest8143 Hugs hon, I hope things go well with your daughter.
And ja I know how hard it is to not hate or blame our ex too much. It's always a tough spot with our children.
(((HUGE HUGS)))
@Raveninthelabrynth thank you. Things went ok I think? I didnt blame but was able to convey that I believe a lot has to do with the dynamics shes caught in the middle of. I did find I didnt feel as confident as I should have though and the Dr was in agreement with me about my suspicions of anxiety and / possible ADHD without a behavioural component. I think well get some access to some more resources at the least and some recommendations with things to keep an eye out for if meds are ever needed down the rd.
@purpleWest8143 Hugs hon, have faith alle will work out
@Raveninthelabrynth
I have been working a lot this week. Extremely busy. Not a place and a time to loose myself. Had to really focus hard to stay present.
As soon as I walked into the house these days it has been crazy. Switching back and forth. Hardly any sleep. I don't know how long I can keep up.
But I have learned a lot. I recognise more of what is going on inside. I am trying to listen to the voices on the inside. Not always with great success. But I am learning and making progress. So, I had a good week I guess.
@MaschaV Yes, you have been everywhere lately lol.
I'm glad to hear you're working inside factors out. Rest, you'll feel better. Have a nice long bath an take a huge nap, You Deserve It!
M gonna go make some scandinavian pancakes for my mann be back in a few
@Raveninthelabrynth
Enjoy
@MaschaV Skol
@Raveninthelabrynth
Likte du et måltid? Har pannekaker vært vellykket?
@MaschaV lol how nice to read it in this form here, but m afraid we must keep it in english.
The Pankakes came out awesome an my mann loves them. 
þøkk Yðr
@Raveninthelabrynth
Ég mun ekki gera það aftur. I promisse
@MaschaV lol
@Raveninthelabrynth
Hoot an Phoohey a Hawk is after my Chickens! 
brb
@Raveninthelabrynth
@Raveninthelabrynth ug m horrid with that button today lol
alle set
Struggling with memories today. Hate when some little detail creeps itself into my head and hangs around all day....or days.
@affectionateNorth4018 Hugs North sorry for the rough day. anything we can do to help make it better some?
@Raveninthelabrynth hello raven :) thanks for this post..
I'm not really sure what to say, but I am learning a lot from everyone really . Trying to look beyond
@energeticPenny8 Hej Penny, it is our pleasure to make phosts, forums and run groups for alle to learn from.
I'm glad it is helping, keep coming around, we're happy to have you with us
@Raveninthelabrynth
LOL An interesting analogy!
Raven, you know about the struggles with going to school with PTSD/Trauma kinda stuff. Recently, I decided to come out about my issues to the ADA thing at my school. Feel a huge amount of stress and stigma. Just got off the phone with a professor who took a look at my paper and we were talking just fine until I mentioned how I sometimes have to take medicine for my concentration issues. Then things became clipped and well...like they just wanted to not engage me further than they had to. Maybe I imagined it? But it certainly felt... odd considering how friendly he was for awhile. I mentioned my issues with concentration and how I could probably get a lot of stuff done if it weren't for my issues surrounding it. ...Not like I went into detail- the focus was just how I had issues focusing. X____X;
I'm trying not to personalize it too much... but it's really hard. Because my advisor is givin' me grief constantly. Telling me to get stuff done faster and being an ass because he isn't very empathetic. Believes I'm just being irresponsible and that somehow b*tching at me to do it faster will make me do it. It's so unprofessional. I feel really marginalized. Like I shouldn't even be attending right now. Like...I'm near tears. I say too much and just need to fake being "normal". Wish I would've just laughed and nodded, continuing the conversation- not going into detail about how I could accomplish more if I didn't have these concentration issues. Feel like hell right now.
@CaloenasNicobarica Get a letter from your Therapist to back up your issues then take it to that office. They have to work with you so whom cares what he thinks. Whom knows, maybe you were nervous an perceived things off a bit. Idk, but I do know a letter from yer T will help.
@Raveninthelabrynth
Thanks, Raven. I'm in the process of meeting with the ADA peeps still. My T has already agreed and knows about the situation. So a letter should be forthcoming. It's still really hard for me to come out about this... and reflecting back on it- I'm not sure what I would've said either if someone said what I did to me. lol Now I'm just chillin' and scopin' out some thigh high leather boots on Amazon and getting my paper prepped to calm my nerves. XD
Have a good weekend! Hope the chickens are well. <3
@CaloenasNicobarica yep that's the best way to do it. I just had to do this to like This comming week! lol Already got my letter tho ;)
ok Bath tyme bbiab
@CaloenasNicobarica
Hey Cal, I overshare with my instructors and within my assignments and I couldn't care less. My life hasn't been my fault, and I just don't care anymore if it makes anyone else uncomfortable. Guess what? It should make them uncomfortable! At least they aren't the ones living with it on a daily basis! I've actually said that to an instructor before in the comments on one of my papers. I put that I know I'm not "supposed" to write about this stuff because we have to do the peer reviews and my life makes people uncomfortable, but it's what I have to work with and I really just don't care if it makes them uncomfortable. lol. Just own it dude. It is what it is. I went a little bit overboard in my last journal for my Social Psych class, but that's because I was nearing the end of my two therapist-free weeks, and I had basically fallen apart at that point, so I had reached a whooooole new level of not caring lol! I'll admit I can be a bit mean at times, but people responding with "that look" has gotten a bit old. Sometimes I'll be like, "I'm sorry, did that make you uncomfortable? I know living with it makes me uncomfortable." with a dead serious face. It makes them even more uncomfortable, but I'm fairly certain my point gets across 😉. Don't feel bad for bringing up concentration issues. I promise you I have brought up FAR worse in FAR more detail because, when they ask you to write about your life, you work with what you have 🤷♀️. If anyone has a problem with the fact that you have trouble concentrating, that's not your problem, it's theirs. You're doing the best you can, and they can't understand that. Just keep doing you buddy 💜
@BeeLeigh - I love this philosophy and completely embrace it myself. It's not easy to take that leap from mask to realness. My heart really goes out to people who feel they can't take the risk. But I completely agree with you - once we start being honest with everyone, especially people we maybe think we "shouldn't" be honest with, the sense of freedom is extraordinary. Of course everything is still basically awful, for me at least, but without the extra pressure to pretend. That pressure is a lot heavier than it feels when we're inside of it. I think it's great that you are able to live without it and encourage others to take off their masks too.
@wontsleepwontwake
It
Well folks I can hear the mouseketteers in the background beginning to sing.
Thank you alle for sharing a part of your day, and a part of your souls with me.
Much Love and Respect Alle
Raven bows and fly's away...