Traumatic Experiences Community Daily Check-In: Monday 18 May
Traumatic Experiences Check-In 18 May 2020
A friend in the forum suggested this topic to me on the 13th so I have decided to present it to the best of my ability. Todays topic is inter-generational trauma and how it affects us in every aspect of our lives. To present this topic I will go through examples of how a first generation can negatively influence the second generation leading to a cycle of continuing trauma as the generations progress.
In a first generation as children there could be a variety of traumatic experiences which can affect the individual throughout the remainder of their lives. Below I have listed several of these examples.
1.) Abuse
2.) Neglect
3) Poor Parenting
4.) Household Dysfunction
This can lead to the development of many issues such as but not limited to: Poor appraisals, poor cognitive style, and negative coping strategies.
This in turn can lead to an increase in stressor experiences which can in turn lead to decreases in mental health and even increased reactivity to stressors.
This too can lead to poor parenting later in life, abuse, neglect, etc. This ultimately causes a repeat in what becomes a cycle of trauma. This is Inter-generational trauma. Many of us may come realize that we have unknowingly endured inter-generational trauma. For those of us that have it is important to understand that we have the ability to break this cycle from repeating again. This is never an easy battle and often times can follow us throughout the rest of our lives. This is why it is so important to adopt positive coping strategies and to always try to be mindful of those around us. It is so easy to fall into the same cycles of abuse that have been enacted upon us and deep down none of us truly want to emulate/imitate the ones who caused our traumatic experiences.
This being said I will ask of you three important questions.
1.) How are you feeling today?
2.) After reading this what steps if any would you consider to ensure the cycle is broken? It can be any negative habit learned from an older generation of family or even friends.
3.) What suggestions might you have for a future check-in topic?
I would like to also thank you all for taking the time to participate in this thread. I will end this Check-In as I always will by wishing you all a better today than yesterday in hopes of an even brighter tomorrow!!!
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1.) How are you feeling today?
I'm frustrated by my work. I thought I was going to be effective but my boss just pissed me off this morning and did not validate or listen to what I had done last week so now I just feel like doing absolutely nothing.
2.) After reading this what steps if any would you consider to ensure the cycle is broken? It can be any negative habit learned from an older generation of family or even friends.
Shaming. That's my family's terrible habit. My grand-parents, my uncles and aunts and my parents shame each other and their children and it has resulted in horrible abuse against me. I am very self-aware of this and make sure to not shame others and apologize if I do without wanting to. I also realized that often, if I shame someone, it's because I'm ashamed, so I think back on why and tell myself to replace shame with love and compassion.
3.) What suggestions might you have for a future check-in topic?
No idea :)
@HenrietteK
It is unfortunate that your work is going unappreciated and I am very sorry to hear that my friend. It does however appear to be that you are very mindful and put alot of effort into breaking the cycle of trauma. I look forward to hearing great and wonderful things regarding yourself in the future. Don't worry about not having ideas for a topic. If nobody provides one I will decide myself what Wednesdays topic will be. As always I wish you a wonderful day my friend.
@HenrietteK
Replacing shame with love and grace and self compassion is not easy! You got this!
this post has affected me very badly now :( I will do my best not to traumatize anyone else.
i don't want to do the same things with others that my parents and my peers did to me at school.
@emylly
I am sorry this topic has had such a negative affect on you my friend. I hope this post does not have a negative impact on your day. I am a firm believer that as long as we are breathing we have the ability to change for the betterment of all. If you ever need a listener I am here as are many other wonderful listeners. It was not my intention to bring anyone's spirits down.
@Understandingempath
no problem..
@emylly Hey Hi :)
I think in that one sentence alone, you speak volumes about yourself. That you will do your best to not traumatize anyone else. It shows that you have a good heart and have concern for others. At the same time though, please don't feel you have to be silent. While you may not be comfortable sharing your story here, you can create a safe space for yourself and your thoughts here at Cups. Although I do understand how hard it can be to share the things we've endured. There are many here though, who have gone through similar things and I've found there's a feeling of strength and solidarity and even some relief in sharing with others. There's never any pressure though of course, move at your own pace and at the speed you're comfortable with. We'll be here to support you regardless.
@mytwistedsoul
Thank you my friend for this beautiful reply.
@Understandingempath You're welcome :)
@mytwistedsoul
thank you
@emylly You're welcome :)
@Understandingempath
1.) How are you feeling today?
i'm feeling a little bit overwhelmed. my mom has covid-19 and my dad who works with her at the hospital is filling her shifts because they're understaffed as it is. which leaves me at home with two one-year old twins that i'm responsible for watching, feeding, and keeping out of trouble. on top of that, i have my own part-time job and online schoolwork to do! i'm taking it one step at a time though :)
2.) After reading this what steps if any would you consider to ensure the cycle is broken? It can be any negative habit learned from an older generation of family or even friends.
i would say i would try to make sure when i have my own family, i take extra precautions to make sure my kids grow up in a safe environment. i'd try to make sure that before i have kids, i have a stable financial situation, and a good relationship with my partner to make sure my kids grow up in a loving and safe environment. i would also teach them about warning signs of violence and abuse to make sure they are aware of those red flags and avoid them in their future relationships and friendships.
3.) What suggestions might you have for a future check-in topic?
maybe the psychological effects on someone who has experienced trauma or been involved in an accident or natural diaster
@CaptainTrev
You truly are a Captain. The burdens you currently carry are overwhelming and I admire that you are doing all of these things in the midst of your parents struggles. I truly hope your mother recovers soon. Those twins will love you so much more knowing you were there for them through these hard times. As far as the answer for the second question I feel you will do very well once you have a family of your own. I will make the psychological effects of trauma inflicted on an individual from accidents and natural disasters a topic for the near future on the checkins I do for the forum. Thank you so much for the topic. This forum belongs to all of you and I will always do my best to involve you all in what I do here. Thank you again for participating in this thread and I do hope you have a wonderful day amidst the burdens you are carrying. You are awesome!!!
This was a great read. I'm working of fixing some of the tramua now. I'm not sure how to explain my answers, So have a good day and thank you again for the read.
@Goldcherry2113
You don't have to explain your answers, simply reading it and taking the information is all the participation that is needed my friend. I am glad you liked it and I only hope my future checkins will be as influential as the ones I have already posted. Thank you again for your participation and may today be a wonderful day for you. It was a member who gave me this topic last week and I thank them and all of you for your continued participation in the Traumatic Experiences forum.