Traumatic Experiences Community Daily CheckIn - Monday 26th June 2017
Good Day Y'all!!!! 
Well, its not quite Monday in my part of the world, but I know Monday has long begun in many other parts of the world some of you are from, so here's my post for today that I've been pondering on for some time tonight 
Sometimes, we don't always take the time to appreciate all the small things in life, we are busy getting through our days, going to work, dealing with family, with children, completing our to do lists, rushing about from place to place, meeting appointments, and for trauma Survivors coping day in and day out with the affects of what trauma has left you with. Some of us also spend a lot of time worrying about things day to day, anticipating problems, worrying about what will go wrong, instead of appreciating what is going right for us, and I hold my hand up to that one also!!
So maybe, we should consider spending a little more time, appreciating and being thankful for all the little things that usually go right instead of the big things that could go wrong. The reality though is that even with us doing this, it doesn't provide us with a guarantee that things won't go wrong later, even if our day starts off with lots of good things, such as the birds singing in the garden, the sun beaming through our windows, receiving an email or letter from someone we know. Appreciating the small things, being aware of the things we take for granted, isn't a safeguard against the unknown. It is, however, one of the best ways to fully enjoy the moment and create the next one from a place of peace and empowerment.
Also for many Survivors of trauma we often feel as though we have little to no control over things that we are affected by. When you start thinking about everything you cant control, it sometimes helps to remember and appreciate all the little things that work in your favour most days.
So having thought about the small things we often miss remembering and appreciating I have decided to share a few examples with you, of the things many of us may not spend time appreciating and being thankful for because we worry ourselves ragged about what is to be achieved or what isn't working, what's a problem and so on.
*You woke up breathing - No matter what happens in the hours ahead, you can come back to your breath for a sense of peace and presence
*You slept in a bed -Even if you didnt get as much sleep as youd like to, you had the opportunity to rest somewhere relatively peaceful
*Your roof isnt leaking copious amounts of water directly on your head
*Your shower works—with hot water
*The sun is shining, giving you all those feel-good brain chemicals. (The sun actually increases serotonin production—its a natural mood lifter!
*Your iPod works, so you can listen to your favorite tunes during your commute
*If you drive, your favourite morning radio show is on and its so funny you almost dont care about the gridlock traffic
*You received some type of email that lets you know someone cares about you
*Nothing - Those moments of 'nothing' where we are not running ourselves into the ground trying to achieve a million and one things allow for self-reflection and peace of mind. Especially in todays world where some people find it impossible to have those moments or where we are glued to our smart phone or tablet etc. We really dont appreciate the idea of nothing and take it for granted.
*Senses and sensation - You see, hear, touch, taste, feel, laugh and love (Unless you have a condition which limits one of those senses)
*Being able to read and write
*Locating a wet paint/wet floor sign before you ruin your day
So what small things do you feel you could take for granted that perhaps you don't spend as much time appreciating them, being aware of them and all the good things that are going right for you? How could you make time for yourselves, to see all that is around you with a much wider perspective, rather than one which seems to locate all the troubles for you, all the things that don't go right? What is the things that you wish to appreciate more in your life? What small funny things in life, often gone unnoticed make you smile?
This space is yours, to share what's happening in your world, to share the good, the bad and the inbetween. Healing from trauma is tough going, you will have good days and you will face some challenging day. Just remember your strong, you made it this far, and we are here for you if you need us
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I'm grateful for the health and happiness of my family. I'm grateful that occasionally I actually risk interacting with them.
Today I went with spouse on a job and on the way back we ran out of gas. While we waited for someone to bring us gas I was able to enjoy the slight coolness in the breeze (a pleasant break from the heat). I watched some hawks gliding slowly on the currents scanning for field mice. And most importantly I noticed the clouds. Today the sky was covered with low-hanging clouds. The kind that as a child you thought you could almost reach if you could only get a few stories up in some building somewhere. It was nice to have that memory. It was nice that the clouds still hang just as low as they always have. It was even nice that although I wished the hawks plenty of nourishment, I was secretly rooting for the field mice. A good day.
@themainjane
Love to hear you describing the clouds and those childhood memories..takes me back to those days and imagining what you could see in the shapes of the clouds. Good to have a moment to pause and see what is around us.I'm glad you had a good day,and I'm on the side of the field mouse too.
@themainjane What a beautiful post. Despite running out of gas you were able to appreciate your surroundings, the breeze on your face, nature, and seeing the beauty around you. Beautiful post Jane. I too would secretly route for the field mice too lol Its all these little things sometimes we dont get time to appreciate because we busy our lives with so much else, but thank you for sharing this brilliant post. I have just heard the seagulls squawking as I am about to post this to you, with the little birds chirping away in the background
@themainjane oh and the clouds, it reminded me of how many of us may have made pictures from the clouds, something a lot of people do in childhood but sometimes also do in adulthood too
@themainjane
Hi Jane, I love how you reframed running out of gas to be a chance to be present and enjoy what is around you. What a stressful situation and how brilliantly you turned it into somethng beautiful inspires me.
@dancingRainbow45
Good morning,
I'm back from my trip. It was wonderful and I was able to go diving in four cenotes-underground cave systems that eventually lead to the ocean. They were amazing. I met someone who may raise money to bring me back to teach teachers how to use donated art supplies and recycled items for teaching art to Mayan children and show my art at the same time. Cool connections.
I hope all of you are doing well. I'm thinking it was a smart move for me to disconnect from 7 cups while on vacation, just so I could be fully present in the moment and leaving my troubles in a compartment for my return. It allowed me to grateful for small things and big things that I might have missed had I not opened to the present.
One thing I tend to take for granted is the connection I have with people important in my life when I've filled my day with activity and to do lists. Taking time to meditate and feel gratitude and openness toward them assists me in being more present with them.
Being present is a challenge to me, but I'm slowly learning through meditation and non-smoking breaks to bring myself back to the present.
Thanks Rainbow.
@MKJart Welcome back, Mary! Sounds like an amazing trip (although scuba is not my thing ;)). I can relate to what you said about the struggle to remain present in the moment -- mediation definitely helps, but takes practice, thus, patience and time. Anyway, in keeping with the check in theme, I am grateful that you've returned to us. 😊
@melliotm
Thanks Mel, It;s good to be back.
@MKJart Hey MK your post brought smiles to my face. It sounds like you had a fantastic time away and had some wonderful experiences that you will cherish Your braver than I am when it comes to diving in underground cave systems.
Its good to meet some wonderful people in our lives, especially those that inspire us to take up activities or jobs that help others and using donated art supplies and recycled items to teach art to Mayan children sounds an amazing thing to do. If you wish to put your art to use, we have a PTSD design event happening at the moment It can be amazing to work with children in the way you described and I hope that this can become a reality for you
Sometimes, it can be good to completely disconnect from everything, even cups at times, just to enjoy as you said being in the moment and appreciated the fullness of the experiences you had. It can help to refresh our minds and give new perspectives on things and give clarity to situations which we may have found troubling beforehand.
Im glad you have some important people in your life and are able to take a little time to appreciate them. Sometimes when we have these special people in our lives, especially those who have been with us through good and bad, we can forget sometimes how special they really are and what they bring to our lives.
Am glad your able to enjoy a little more being in the present, even though thats tough for you at times
@dancingRainbow45
I've been working with children in art for almost 20 years now. Everywhere I was stationed in the Navy I did it starting with a children's hospital in Chicago every week. After that I was hooked and found ways to make it part of my life. I've taught children between the ages of two to 12 and teens/young adults from ages 13-25yrs in Chicago, Puerto Rico, San Diego, Lima, Peru, Puerto Vallarta and throughout the lake region of Mexico that I live in. I organized a free art program in small pueblas here, where I have taught teachers to use supplies and recycled items in art classes for children, mostly with Purépecha, Tarascan and Aztec descent. I absolutely love what I do. Art teaches children so many skills or emotional regulation, self expression, confidence, out of the box thinking, creativity, relating to others etc etc. Children who do art do better in reading, writing and arithmetic too.
Getting all the classes and teachers ready for the summer rollout is taking much of my time right now, so I'll pass on the PTSD design work, but I look forward to seeing what everyone comes up with.
<3 Mary
I am grateful for new opportunities, opportunities to connect and meet with people. I am grateful for a friend of mine, that patiently listens to me as I talk about my worries, pains, and concerns. Walking with me through all my trials and tribulations. I am grateful that "life starts at 40!", and regardless of age, I am stepping out and trying new things. I am grateful for 7 Cups for teaching me how to support, and how to truly listen to others. Finally, I am greatful that I have resources and provision, so am not in financial need.
@Amandisa16 Don't know about you Amanda, but I find when we have the opportunities to connect and meet other people, it enriches our lives and our knowledge and social skills too Am glad you have a friend who listens patiently no matter if you are having a good old chit chat about anything and everything or whether its more supportive when you have concerns and worries. Life starts anytime you want it too LOL Life is not dependent on age LOL Lovely appreciation there of all the things which help your life to be a good one for you
@dancingRainbow45 thanks for post. Sorry bit late as day almost done in the UK now but been long and hard.
Im grateful for my husband without whom the last few days would have been impossible. He came and suffered a busy sikh wedding with nosy unsubtle relatives who causally dropped news of their grandchildrens recent difficult birth quite cruelly into conversation. I was able to hug anothet cousins wife who is due the same week i was. We survived but it was raw and he doesnt fake being ok even with alot of alcohol. Reception still to come this weekend but we are a bit more ready.
Im grateful for friends on here without whom i couldnt face yet another meeting the Trust has organised in maternity tomorrow. I managed to miss the last one but have no staff and need to present new medications. I lack much focus and the sh has been flaring at work. Im now scared of being caught and whats more the patient returned ampoules i squirreled away which need disposal.
Im grateful for still seeing therapist and though am still not honest about the sh or worse urges, she is still helping to start a trauma timeline. Staying with it for now and will see when she goes away for her break if i cope.
I am infinitely amazed at how everyone on here copes despite everything in their lives. I dont feel like im holding on half as strongly as you all.
With much love.
@inventiveOrange1 Hey Orange, good to hear from you
Im glad that your able to find the important things in your life to be grateful or appreciative of, which can be hard sometimes to see when things in life feel chaotic/busy. It sounds as if both you and your husband coped remarkedly well given the circumstances you both were in and Im glad you were able to find some moments of comfort in it. Preparing for family dos, or events which you know may prove difficult or even raw can always help you be prepared. Maybe even think in your mind of the worse case scenarios and think how you would manage those if faced with them. I hope you dont have to but it may help to think about those.
It sounds as if your friends mean a lot to you and I am glad you have them. Does anyone know about the SH flaring up? Have you been able to speak to your therapist about this? I know you said you havent been able to be completely honest with her yes, but shes there to help you and if she knows what you going through and having to deal with, it puts her in a far better position to be able to support you and thats whats important, you in all of this!
I think you will find many people on here who like you thinks everyone else seems to be coping better, but the reality is, your all doing great, you all doing the very best you can with very difficult situations. Hang in there and reach out when you need to
@dancingRainbow45 havent told her. havent told anyone. not even husband and he hasnt noticed. Not coping really. Dont know why i say i am. Its all a facade and im breaking. its been awful today. I dont know why i went to that room knowing id be triggered by posters . Hate myself now for giving in to going and being affected. Csnt even leave work now no one would understand why. Just deal with it by twking it out on myself and go on.
@inventiveOrange1 Taking it out on yourself is always an option you have, but nine times out of 10 in the long term, it only ends up making you feel worse about yourself, which then reinforces the need to take it out on yourself again. I guess its perhaps considering whether you wish to try and break the circle that you find yourself in.
Think about sharing but do so when you feel ready to. But if someone knows whats going on for you, you stand a far better chance of being able to get your needs met and to receive the support that you need. Its hard for others around us to know how to help when we kind of keep them in the dark. When we do that, sometimes we may even end up resenting them for not helping and yet it is us who has prevented them from doing so more often than not.
What room are you talking about? Sometimes it can be useful to make a note of situations that perhaps act as a trigger for you and to work on what to do in given situations so as to prevent a situation from becoming so overwhelming that you then end up hating yourself etc.I dont know why i went to that room knowing id be triggered by posters . I hope you are able to find some comfort for yourself today.
@dancingRainbow45 I've thought about this post all day, wanting to reply positively. To be blunt it's been a horrible day. I am grateful for many things: nature all around me: wildflowers, animals, trees. Grateful to be mostly walking atm, and equally grateful for a wheelchair in storage if needed. Grateful for fewer seizures.Grateful for food in the fridge, and money to buy it. Grateful for the worlds best dog. Grateful for a few special people in my life, even if some I will never meet. I could go on and on and on....
There is so much to be grateful for but I just can't feel grateful very much it seems lately. It's empty inside. And it scares me because this is so not like me. All I'm feeling and seeing are the doors closing, the obstacles that I don't think can realistically be overcome (hello? Is that acceptance knocking?), the scary changes that need to or will inevitably happen.... blah blah blah.
im sorry this is so negative (and personal.)i don't know where to turn atm.
@survivetoalive
Thank you for sharing. Sometimes it is all a struggle. I do not know what it is that you are facing but I do know that all here will welcome any thoughts or trials you need to share.
I think everyone has had those times when you know you should be grateful but you just don't feel grateful. There are certainly some things that are very difficult to be grateful for or perhaps it's not even appropriate to be grateful for them. They tend to muddy the waters.
At any rate, hang in there and share your worries to lighten the load.
@themainjane thank you for your words. Felt uneasy posting all that.
@survivetoalive
please don't ever feel uncomfortable.. have you seen some of the stuff I post on here?!
Seriuosly though, I think sometimes just voicing a burden eases it a tiny bit sometimes. I know I've relied on those here as a sounding board or a new way to approach a problem at times.
Hope you are feeling a bit better after what sounds like was a long hard day.
@themainjane thank,you again, voicing it, or maybe feeling heard, does help a little bit. Here's to a better day.
@survivetoalive hey Alive, So proud of you for being able list all the positive things that you can appreciate, the nature around you, your ability to walk despite any health issues you may be battling with right now. And Yeah!!!! for dogs. That certainly are mans best friend and are always there offering love and comfort no matter if we have a good or bad day. And really pleased that you have some special people in your life, even if some of the people you may never meet in person but have had the pleasure of knowing online.
Im sorry that you having a tough time, feeling empty or perhaps more a bit shut off from things inside. You said its not like you. What would you say you are like, if you had to describe yourself to someone? It can feel sometimes when things are really tough as though there are all these obstacles in your way or doors that shut on you, but for every door that shuts, there are often doors that will open too, and sometimes its about finding that door and trying out that key. I know its tough, I can appreciate it can be really hard sometimes, even to find one positive thing to hold onto. But you are strong. I know it may not feel that way right now but you have Survived, you are alive, and you have people here who care about you and will be here sitting side by side with you in this battle to open those doors up
@dancingRainbow45
Thank goodness for dogs indeed though even he seems a bit annoyed at me.
You said its not like you. What would you say you are like, if you had to describe yourself to someone?
What has often kept me going is the exact quote you mentioned, which I had actually stumbled across a couple hours before reading your post. Really learning to feel consistently genuinely grateful for smaller things. It was enough. Now it doesn't feel like enough. I feel empty, like a shell of who I used to be. I also feel i am (was?) a kind, giving, good person at the core, but it's stifled, and suffocated and covered up in darkness of some sort. Like there is nothing left to give. Yes, I have survived, but I want to do more, I want to live.
Thanks for caring to ask. Wishing you a good day.
@survivetoalive Hey Alive thanks for the honest reply. Dogs love their humans, you dont have to worry there and dogs have the uncanny knack of making us feel bad or guilty with their eyes if we have to tell them no etc but dogs give love uncondtionally.
It can feel as though your a shell of who you were before the trauma, who you are with all those lovely qualities you mentioned such as being kind, giving and good is still there. Its the very core of who you are but sometimes on our bad days it feels impossible to get in touch with that side of you when so much else is going on. Perhaps feeling empty is your minds way of trying to cope with emotions that for now is just too much to deal with and so you disconnect from them which can sometimes make you feel empty.
I can appreciate the desire to live rather than survive or just exist. Each day you survive its a day closer to living once more. Wishing you a good day too
Good one!!!
Today.... I have nutritious food from all food groups to eat. I have money in my wallet to buy food with. I have a computer that is keeping on chugging, and I have a brand new iphone that works great. I have a car that runs smoothly, that gets me from place to place. I have a job offer for several hours of work this week. I have friends who are connecting with me. I have family who is connecting with me. I am breathing free from any issues. I have mobility of all of my limbs. I have air conditioning in the apartment in which I am staying. All of these things, today, are going right :)
@singercrystalspirit all great things. good to hear all is well x
@singercrystalspirit And all those things you listed spirit are really good things thath happen around you day in and day out, but perhaps can be lost a little if your having a tough day. I am glad your able to find those positive things in your life and that you have good friends with whom you can share some special moments together and to get the support you need
My mom had that image framed on the kitchen wall for the longest time!
The small things...
I've got a roof over my head, plenty of food to eat (even if it's all healthy 😝), a good office job where I'm truly appreciated (and just got a raise!), a bathroom to shower in (and fight off yucky spiders 😬), I have the best friend anyone could ask for - even if she is on the other side of the world, I have an over abundance of clothing (even though I wear the same like, ten things all the time 😜), I have a lot of things that I've worked really hard for, and also a lot of frivolous things that I bought when I was low and should never have saved my cards to any online shopping accounts 😂
I have a lot to be grateful for, even if I don't always remember ❤️
@BeeLeigh
congrats on the raise!
@themainjane
Thanks Jane! 😊
@BeeLeigh What a brilliant list Bee thank you for sharing all this with us. It can be hard at times to remember all those little things that we often taken for granted even friends who are always there for us, even if they are the other side of the world, or online only. I think sometimes we dont realise what we do have when we are striving for what we feel we dont have. Thank you for sharing
@dancingRainbow45
Thanks Rain :)
@BeeLeigh Your very welcome