Traumatic Experiences Community Daily CheckIn - Sunday 11th June 2017
Good Afternoon Everyone!!! 
How are you all doing?
I have quote of the day for you
"Nothing builds self-esteem and self-confidence like accomplishment." Thomas Carlyle
What things do you feel you are accomplishing that is helping to build your self esteem, and how do you imagine your life, where you can begin to accept yourself for who you are, regardless perhaps of all the negative things others have led you to believe about yourself?
This space is yours to share whats happening in your world, in you day, whether good, bad or inbetween. Its a safe and supportive space to share whats on your mind, share any achievements, positive things happening for you, any troubles you may feel today. Healing from Trauma is hard work, so be gentle with yourselves and show some kindness to you!!!
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@Avaray @vriska44 @Shadeshack @BeeLeigh @Faeryschild @dancingRainbow45 @Lavendermoonlight @KLM3278 @sujaypai
@sweetMelody95 @jr50 @agreeableKite4304 @PhoenixPatronus @Morfo66 @themainjane @raycascotch
@KatieMoon1 @conscientiousPineapple1782 @Tamba @inventiveOrange1 @Jenna0903 @melliotm @PanamaBanana
@AutumnLeigh @DeborahUK @PuppyLove13 @KristenHR @BradyChay2310 @HearingYourHeart @vriska @TreesandWine
@guyb @chayil @Sharkradio @MKjart @AnnaKateMillerLCSW @Tamba @Celestialvoid @WaterLily16 @TheAsh @MKJart @Asiam1971 @philosophicalship9444 @Chayil @rumplesteeleskin @Survivetoalive @exuberantTriangle2562 @coraline23 @Lilyflower0817
@caterpillargirl
Good morning, DR!
Love the quote. Today is a day of nothingness over here, but in a good way! I'm trying to focus on relaxing myself for today rather than constantly doing and moving and going. TV and junk food for this lady.
:D
@sharkradio YAS.
@melliotm Love this LOL
@sharkradio Ooooh a day of nothingness sounds good to me LOL Sometimes we just need that time out instead of carrying on doing things, aiming for things, accomplishing things, working on our pasts etc. A chill out day or a vegging out day with junk food and TV is perhaps what is needed right now. Great quote isnt it :)
@sharkradio
Sounds like a nice recharge day.
What things do you feel you are accomplishing that is helping to build your self esteem, and how do you imagine your life, where you can begin to accept yourself for who you are, regardless perhaps of all the negative things others have led you to believe about yourself?
Well, in planning for my trip next month, I've realized just how important my job really is. I've been making a list of all the things I do that no one else does/knows how to in my office that will need to be done while I'm away. I really don't know who else can take over any of these things, because we're all stretched a little extra thin right now as we have someone out on leave for surgery. So, that's my plan for this week I guess. Figure out who can take over for me while I'm gone for two weeks! For today though, my main objective is to not melt to death in this heat 😵
@BeeLeigh Oh you can send some heat my way please LOL It sounds as thought your thinking ahead by working out what you do at work, that perhaps others may not know or know how to do in order to help them whilst your away and thats a pretty thoughtful thing to do, not only giving yourself perhaps the reassurance you need to know things will keep going whilst your away but also helping others to accomplish things to keep things running smoothly. Are you looking forward to the trip Bee? Wheres your first stop planning to be?
@dancingRainbow45
First stop is Dublin :)
@BeeLeigh Oh Nice, Ireland is a beautiful country and southern ireland in particular is amazing. Dublin is an amazing city and I hope you have a really good time. When do you set off?
@dancingRainbow45
We're getting into Dublin the morning of July 17 :)
@BeeLeigh Hope you have a safe journey and have a wonderful time away <3
@dancingRainbow45
Thank you! I'll still be on here as long as there's wifi at our hotels :)
Thank you for that amazing quote dancing rainbow. Well I had a bit of a difficult night, but a nice relaxing bath and sharing here on the checkin today is helping to ease the pain and bit. I am not sure if I am just going to take the day to relax or not,but as of right now I am just relaxing.
@philosophicalShip9444 You're most welcome :) Im a bit of a quote fanatic LOL I find quotes really inspiring and thought provoking so thought from time to time I would share them with you all :) Good to hear your taking some time out for a relaxing bath which can certainly help to soothe the aches and pains away, and can give your brain a chance to switch off a little and to just unwind. I hope whatever you decide to do with your day, that it can be a good one for you :) And each and every time one of you guys posts, or reaches out or shares with one another, is a true accomplishment when many of you have lived trapped in a world of loneliness, and secrecy, :)
@dancingRainbow45 Iam definitely a person who lived in pain and isolation so I feels quite scary to reach out, but healing . I finished another question for the discussion thread aswell so I will post it there later today.
@philosophicalShip9444 Another accomplishment and you guys are fantastic with the discussions :) So many views, so much support and very thought provoking at times :)
@dancingRainbow45
And each and every time one of you guys posts, or reaches out or shares with one another, is a true accomplishment when many of you have lived trapped in a world of loneliness, and secrecy, :)
This is so beautifully put Rain. I love reading your posts as you can sum up in just a few words what I would struggle to get across in an essay. You're one in a million!
@DeborahUK Thanks Deborah, even I need to hear that sometimes LOL Im not the greatest when it comes to words and getting them right but I speak them from my heart, in the hope that if they can reach one person and help in any way, then I too accomplish what I had hoped to achieve when I joined 7cups and particularly the trauma community. You guys are all amazing and your words of kindness touch me too. You Deborah are an amazing listener and I know a lot of people here hold deep respect for you. Stay cool Debs :) 
I'm not in a good head space. I know that there are way better people than me going through much worse with much better strength and grace.
Problem is - 7 cups is actually making it worse. Not BECAUSE of anyone but in spite of.
Still I can't seem to stop. I was wrong - I can't face my fears. All this self-divulging is making me sick of myself and I don't think I can handle who I really am.
My husband has requested me numerous times to take my meds today. I just can't seem to do it. It's self preservation.
Earlier I would've gladly taken any type of sedating pill just so I could sleep.
I'm sorry to you guys that I'm needy and can't seem to stop it. I'm just miserable with myself and sleuthing around which only increases my paranoia. Endlessly hopping around from thread to a thread mucking it up. Trying to explain myself to myself and sometimes others.
Didn't think I'd ever say this but I wish I felt more depressed than I do keyed up. At least when I'm depressed I can sleep and get a break from thinking.
I'm hoping I can look back someday and say, "oh yeah. That. What was I thinking?"
Truthfully I don't know if I'll ever get to that point because I'm not sure I'll ever get better or change or whatever it is I'm missing and don't understand or refuse to do.
Not everyone "wins" in life or figures it out. It's not looking like I'm ever going to wise up.
Is it that I can't change? I think it's that I won't change but feeling like I can't at least feeds my false illusion that it's not up to me.
I think I'm beyond caring what anyone thinks. Going for social faux pas broke.
What I think of myself is what's robbing my joy. I don't know how people do it (or why I can't). Don't know how they pick themselves up by the bootstrap and carry on.
Maybe I should delete this app. I'd probably eventually get something done.
Like that scene in Reality Bites when Winona realizes she's been talking to a phone psychic for waaay, way too long.
If I only could've struck a balance.
@themainjane
I'd miss you if you left this place, but if you think it's better for you then I'd understand
@hereigoagain
I don't know yet. But I'm hurting everyone including myself and I don't feel so "stable."
Ive really got to slow this train down.
And thank you. Made me cry. Happy and sad. It's nice to feel wanted and supported.
I'm sorry I've hurt people.
@themainjane
I enjoy hearing from you, but totally understand if you have disconnect for a while. I hope you come back. You're a valuable member of this community.
@themainjane
Oh my heart goes out to you.. far from easy where you're at today. And agree one day you may look back and say "what was I thinking"But at the moment it doesn't seem possible. I know, have been there, and now realize that I can look back at this time..
But for now just keep it simple, taking your meds. and perhaps doing some thing practical.
@rozie
Thank you, rozie. Well that day came sooner than I expected. I'm proud of myself for reeling my emotions back in.
Working on boundaries, perception, self-esteem and facing my fears.
and Rozie - your words were perfect. I guess I did need a bit of sympathy. :)
I was thinking, "a stronger person wouldn't be struggling the way I am." Added to that was the confusing thought, "but how would someone feel in my situation - am I overreacting?" All adds to feeling alone, ashamed and misunderstood.
Going better right now - working it out. 🙂
@themainjane ..... good for you!
Bleeehhhh I'm feeling like total crap and like I'm not accomplishing anything. Was pretty relaxed earlier after exercising a lot, but now I've been feeling lonely, missing my loved ones I bleeped up with, hurting so much and crying for more than an hour again. And my period isn't due for another couple of days and it usually gets worst just before so how the heck am I going to cope 
@hereigoagain
All that exercise Bee, all those endorphins pumping round, good at the time, but when you come down from it... you can feel the opposite like you say.lonely and missing people, crying and wondering how you're going to cope. Be comforted, go easy on your self, listen to some music... and know that we are here with you.
@rozie
Oh wow... I'm not used to exercising much lol. Certainly not while I've got lots of other stupid stuff going on. Makes sense though, I'm sure it's not the only reason I feel bad but thanks for the reminder of basic brain chemistry 
@dancingRainbow45
it was an ok day, had 2 panic attacks and now i constantly have the feeling that i'm urinating but i'm not and it's super weird
@crimsonPenguin1886 hey Penguin thanks for sharing. What brought your panic attacks on Penguin, are you able to identify what it was for you that caused this and how did you manage to get yourself through them? Panic attacks can feel really awful at the time, but in reality often only last a brief time, even though at the time it can feel as though they wont stop or go away and can make you feel really scared, frightened and anxious at the time. Im glad some of the day was okay for you. Do you have anyone around you who could be an allie in helping to get you through panic attacks in the future?
@dancingRainbow45
i don't really know what causes my panic attacks but i believe it's having to do with problems that my mom is having and she'll come home with a lot of anger and releases it and tell me how bad her day was
@crimsonPenguin1886 Hey Penguin, thanks for sharing. How do you feel when your mum returns home and lets all the anger out and how do you feel about anger in general? Have you been able to speak to your mum about this and to see if perhaps things could be shared or vented in a way that does not cause you further distress?
@dancingRainbow45
we have talked before about this but she forgets about the conversation and can't seem to keep work separate from home even tho it's pretty hard for her
@crimsonPenguin1886 That sounds pretty tough for your mum and for you. It can be hard sometimes for some people to keep work seperate to their homelife but it is healthier if people are able to create that space they need for themselves. What do you feel could help this situation?
@dancingRainbow45
i honestly wouldn't know what to do, anything i say she'll just forget it, i've tried to help her but nothing seems to work out
@crimsonPenguin1886 Is there any particularly reason she forgets penguin? Its just you have mentioned this a couple times and I wondered if there was any specific reason for her forgetfulness?
@dancingRainbow4im not entirely sure but i have a hunch as to why she's forgetting