Traumatic Experiences Community Daily Check-In: Sunday 24th May
hi lovely community! good to see you today.
todays check-in will be just an open check in and space for you to share how you are doing, what you are celebrating or worrying about, whatever you just need to let out. So feel free to share your feelings, fears, worries, victories, moments of happiness with me today, i would be really glad to read them!
hope you are all staying safe and having a good start of the week tomorrow 
Love, Avery
@AveryLove
I feel fine, I guess, better than last weekend at least.
I wanna do something, but everything I start, I decide I don't wanna do that after a few minutes. Made food for tonight, drawn and coloured a bit, played some games on my phone, chatted a bit. And know I don't know what to do.
I just want the day to be over, but I know, at best, I'll feel the same tomorrow.
@AveryLove
I find myself feeling very guilty today for having an entire day to myself yesterday. I barely got anything done on my to do list and spent most of the day relaxing. But now I feel behind. Like I've missed something. I feel like I was selfish for not getting anything done. I am having a hard time this morning being able to free myself of these thoughts!
@AveryLove
Hi Avery, I hope you're staying safe too. Thank you for this Sunday's check in, I appreciate the open space. Today I'm kinda frustrated, Before the quarantine went into effect here in the California, I had booked a trip to Vegas, it would've been my first time back since October 2017. It took months of getting in the right frame of mind to work up the courage to go. I wanted to go back to the site of Route 99 Festival, back to the night that changed my life forever. I wanted to take some power back, if that makes sense. Well when the stay at home order went into effect it was the weekend I was set to go. I had to cancel, which I completely understand and have no qualms about it. I'm frustrated because I've been trying to get into contact with customer service so i can get a refund with and no luck. I tried back in March, I've tried Again last month, and today. Today after being on hold for over two hour listening to their advertising and how much they care about the customer, my call was answered and I was told to hold... and the line disconnected.
like its fine, It'll pass, but in this moment it's just frustrating and the hard part is knowing this wasn't going to be a typical trip to vegas, it was going to be one of healing. . . its like it adds insult to injury. anyway, I'll be fine, but thanks for letting me vent.
im having all these trauma memories and remembering things... but how can I say I am traumatized when all these adults did to child/teen me was use very lewd words... it was all online... they never touched me so why do i shake in fear everytime I remember it? :(
@HopefulSprings Hope you dont mind me commenting, but trauma is relative, love. It's like how someone may have a fear of spiders and someone else may not be afraid of spiders, but their afraid of clowns. Trauma is trauma is trauma is trauma. It's different for everyone, and it's not something that can be compared to others trauma because this trauma is real to you. Just as my trauma is real to me. The way you feel isn't wrong, there is no such thing as a wrong feeling. Your brain doesn't know how to lie about what you feel. If you shake in fear everytime you remember those online conversations, its because it real. That being said, I'm sorry you had to endure their lewd behavior. Thats awful, I've been there myself, I've been subjected to all manner of innapropriate conversation and been the subject of conversation that was in poor taste. I wish people were more thoughtful of the weight that their words carry. My heart goes out to you hopefulsprings.
@LindseyLobotomy
**hugs** thank you for your kind words. I am sorry that you had to experience that as well.
I deliberately triggered myself and now I cannot stop thinking of anything else. I don't know why I do that sometimes.