Traumatic Experiences Community Daily Check-In Sunday February 11th 2018
Good Morning Survivor Family. 
I often sit here for a good while embracing the stillness of early morning before I make a post. Sometimes I dare not type a word as I fear this graceful stillness is so fragile. Today I am thinking about alle those special secrett places we spoke of last Sunday, our places of peace. Cellphones, games, texts, facebook, youtube, favourite T.V. shows, quite a busy world we create for ourselves.Even the things we try to do for relaxation can be a stress to organize and pull off. Stillness can be hard to come by.
It is stillness I wish to challenge you to find today. Sit in a comfortable chair, lay still in bed (not sleep), go out into the world somewhere and just sit is best. Leave your phone behind or shut it off. Let your body relax and melt into your surroundings. Alle your thoughts will come, don't fight it let them come, then let them go and continue to be still. Feel your surroundings, become one with the wind on your face, the warmth of the sun. Listen to the birds and the leaves rustling in the trees. Find that place and moment when everything around you is alive. Be a part of it. Time doesn't matter but try to sit for a half hour and do nothing, just be. Give it a try! 
So how aare you alle today? As always this space belongs to alle of you, and is a safe place. Pop in and say hi! 
To add or remove your name from daily check-ins click here
@Avaray @Shadeshack @BeeLeigh @Faeryschild @dancingRainbow45 @Lavendermoonlight @KLM3278 @jr50 @agreeableKite4304 @PhoenixPatronus @Morfo66 @raycascotch @KatieMoon1 @Tamba @Jenna0903 @melliotm @PanamaBanana @inventiveOrange1 @HearingYourHeart @TreesandWine @guyb @Sharkradio @MKjart @Lilyflower0817 @caterpillargirl @Survivetoalive @exuberantTriangle2562 @coraline23 @Ivorycat5573 @fearlessPear8268 @SemicolonSurvivor @weare1 @weareall1 @Annaka1 @moonchild95 @summernight69 @sheaintgotnoshoes @rationalWillow8882 @DeborahUK @AMusicalSilence @catsith @energeticPenny8 @Rebekahwriter13 @behindhazeleyes @sensitiveShade5337 @singercrystalspirit @wittyTree8219 @Ocendade @Rpjrx @Brooke12 @tenacity37 @Raveninthelabrynth @Axeman53 @kkSp3nc3 @blissedNblessed @Softforesthsp77 @AriannaPink @sereneSoul23 @promisemehope @IPreferWinter @Zombii @Godborned @Jessica86 @resourcefulPond1641 @Lilibuth12 @Tir @Michelle0608 @The_Final_Chapter @Halogen @BubblegumPuppy68 @ScarletPear1945 @CaloenasNicobarica @Hoxenos @Christine1980 @TheresaWilliams @Compassionatelistener108 @LovelyChantel @Pureriver56 @unassumingSummer6022 @Reedrainshimmer @resourcefulPond1642 @Kuma0187 @NonHoPaura @courageousNorth9872 @NacienteLuz @Waterlily16 @Helpfulsoul64 @TheHoneyDoll @Saif1for1Resilience @butters45 @purpleWest8143 @silverIceCream21 @Dandelionmoon @Bumblebee16 @consciousawakening @Shaiya365 @archerzvy @JJi @CopingwithTrauma @musicheals61 @disneynerd23 @ScarletPear1945 @Longday08 @sittinginahoneymoon @Quietbeach @loyalYard9488 @thatdramaticsoprano @understandingJackfruit9057 @amiableZebra3993 @Waterstreams057 @placidFriend3007 @AndreT @orchard9786 @Myosotis17 @sociableSailboat9634 @Calmlake1999 @emotionalMaple9419 @calmballoon3183 @disneynerd23 @MomRNFNP @Pdanziger @easymap6620 @MoreThanAConqueror18 @candyhaunt @namelessgirl99 @plumLake851 @streamoftears @quixoticRaven @Redhawk6547 @Sk1ttles @Shayc1 @Samdoc99 @Mikathewolfdog @FrankieDylan @Tacomytaco @stella17 @blinkk @PaperCrane1123 @Equalnotabove @felicia96 @CartoonDarling @Tayboi @Compassion21
@Raveninthelabrynth Love your post Raven and we do create a lot of noise and chaos around us that we an sometimes forget those moments of stillness and forget to savour them. I too love the morning stillness and often sit in the garden, wrapped up warm, with me cup of latte listening to the birds, for they dare not venture into mine for I have cats. And I listen to the quiet. I love the quiet. We live in a world that is bustling and one where we can sometimes forgot to make time for ourselves, so that time that we take out for ourselves for some peace and transquility can be important.
Another space I like is the beach. I love hearing the waves lapping the shoreline. And this is the place I often go when I need that headspace.
Great post
@dancingRainbow45 Thanks Rain. Yes I often sit and greet the sun from our pool deck over looking our woods. Mornings are pure magik, and there are moments within each and every one of them that can change a soul forever.
Yep the beach rocks too, but then I'm not sitting still I surf
@Raveninthelabrynth
Hi Raven! I love this idea.. might go down to my cliff tomorrow and do this.. Today has been a better day,, i am still lost coming to new realizations however i had two moments to be proud of today.. 1.. One of my poems has been published in a newsletter attached to a foundation close to my heart.. and 2.. I went shopping today, no panic or anxiety this time,, i actually enjoyed the trip and managed some self care this afternoon.. Its 1.30am here and i am not tired yet but think that is because i crashed out and got a couple hours sleep last night so my body is now on waking time... I also have had some body memories this evening but have been able to not panic or get overwhelmed just keeping myself grounded and reminding myself i am safe.. *hugs* to anyone who wants or needs them.. Hope everyone is well.. Much love 
@calmLake1999 Awesome Calm, These are two very great things to be proud of. I am Happy youhad such a wonderful day.
Your cliff sounds like a good plan for part of your tomorrow. Rest well my friend, Much Love and Hugs back.
I lay in bed too much, but I would love to be able to go outside again! I used to, but I really cant here as my little porch/deck thing faces the driveway so theres always people coming and going. We also have about a foot of snow right now soooo....yeahhhh lol. When its warmer out I like to go for walks as its starting to get dark. Theres really no people out, and it also challenges me a bit cuz it scares me and I have to keep reminding myself that not only do I live in a ridiculously safe area, but the police station is also only a couple blocks from my house (also, two of my neighbors are cops, one works for the court, and one works for Homeland Security). I have zero reason to fear anything here, so I like to challenge myself sometimes. Maybe in a couple months I can do that again lol. At work I go sit in the bathroom for a little bit sometimes just to get some peace and quiet. If I can get my place organized I can do puzzles again, and I do love those! I have a puzzle app on my phone I like to go to every now and then, and also sudoku. Thats all I can think of right now :)
@BeeLeigh Hel ja ye loaf about too much Bee lol ;)
Hugs Much love :)
@Raveninthelabrynth
OMGGGGGG Raveeeeennnn!!!! I got all my homework that was due today done already, and its not even 8:30!! 😧😧😧😧😧
Im gonna build the smallest of the three shelves while I watch a couple more episodes of This Is Us and then go to bed 😁
Then tomorrow, I can get up nice and early and get ready nice and early, and then Ill have tiiiiiiime to shovellllllllll, and maybe even stop somewhere for a nice coffee instead of just the kcups we have at work! 😁
@Raveninthelabrynth
I did it!! I built the shelf!! 😁😁😁
i need someone to talk to.. my husband just tried to assault me i recorded it on my phone. he's drunk on sunday morning and passed out now. i tried to connect with a listener but they were taking several chats at once. i tried to talk to someone in alanon chat but they said read the page after the preface in how alanon works and i dont know where my book is.
i guess i just wanted someone to sympathize with me... i'm fine, i just feel stuck. i'm fine physically but emotionally i'm out of sorts. and i still have to see my mother today because yesterday got cancelled.
if anyone can private chat me i would appreciate it but if not, i understand.
i looked in domestic abuse but no one talks there..and it seems daunting to get started on an empty slate in there. i dont know what good talking about it will do... i guess i just want to process it? i dunno.
a little bit i guess im beginning to think of an exit strategy if he wont quit drinking. i think i'm writing this now so i wont deny it later.
@themainjane Jane m here today hon. M commin in :)
@Raveninthelabrynth
raven, thank you for being there for me. <3
@themainjane https://www.thehotline.org/help/path-to-safety/ Hi Jane I wanted to leave you this link about creating a safety plan whether you plan to remain in an abusive relationship, plan to leave, and after you escape an abusive relationship. This is taken from The National Domestic Violence Hotline which contains lots of other information which may be of use to you
@dancingRainbow45
thank you, rain
@themainjane Your most welcome Jane, how are you feeling now Jane?
@dancingRainbow45
just got home. i finally saw my mother. i was hoping he would have mellowed but right now i cant tell what kind of night it's going to be.
hoping he passes back out. he doesnt seem any more sober.
@themainjane 1-800-799-7233 thehotline.org is the national domestic abuse hotline . Im assuming its for the US - I just googled it. They have online chats available as well as phone support at all hours every day! Im a survivor of 6 years of domestic abuse but did get out. My thoughts are with you and Im glad to hear it sounds as though you are safe at the moment. If you arent able to find the support here you are needing, or continue seeking exit strategies..... this organization (or a domestic abuse hotline in your area) should be able to support you and offer info regarding resources. I left my relationship 20 years ago with a young child and was taken to a shelter where the woman had access to counselling, social workers, clothing etc and the home was insanely secure. Im sure there must be even better resources available now. 😘
@purpleWest8143 Thank You Purple for your concern of the health and safety of OUR community. Everyone that shows support and offers help here makes a huge impact in the world.
How are you today?
@Raveninthelabrynth good morning! Im good today 😊 had a great sleep, and watching my daughter do some private dance classes today prepping for her first solo for dance competitions this spring (super excited 😆)! Were also having company for dinner and then Im looking
forward to spending BC Family Day with my boyfriend and youngest daughter tomorrow 😊. All In all a pretty great weekend!
Ive been doing pretty good at getting back Into a regular schedule with therapy, and groups Im attending which takes up about 10 hours a week right now. Im still trying to get back on top of my reading and into my yoga routine as I had a sprained SI joint and bulging discs? For about 4 weeks. I started new meds 2 weeks ago for ADHD (on top of my PTSD treatment) and Im noticing Im def more focussed ( prob shows up in my posts here 😉)
I also benefit from a reminder to take the time to just sit still with quiet. I find when I have quiet time, Im always filling it with something whether it be my phone, tv etc. Mindfulness is such a healing practise ❤️
@purpleWest8143
thank you. i'm sorry you went thru that and glad you are no longer going thru that.
i did call that hotline to ask them a few questions. ive spoken with them a few times after incidences but that was more just to vent... this time i was more wanting legal advice plus venting. they dont offer legal advice but it was good to talk with someone just the same.
i am fortunate in that it's not so much that i would be needing shelter - i'm sure my parents would help me but it's just blowing the lid off the whole thing and ending my marriage, i'm not sure i'm ready to do that.
and i am not at all sure i want to throw it all away. i just wish he would stop getting like this and value me more as a person...maybe it's just bc he's drunk. still not all drunks are abusive, i dunno.
@themainjane Im sorry about what you are going through! I mentioned my experience as each of ours are unique, but I do understand some of the struggles ❤️ I am happy to hear that your housing isnt a concern as not having that as a worry might give you the space to look at your situation with one less bias. It sounds like your family is supportive to you? Its too bad the hotline cant help with legal info also ( in Canada we do have free/ cheap one time legal advice and referrals available via telephone, maybe in the US this is available?) I hope youre able to get answers to your legal questions and able to stay safe ❤️
@themainjane sorry, I cant view posts while Im responding. I also wanted to say, in my experience and from what I know about addictions - change and the desire to stop only comes from within. And by this I mean, we can try to help or facilitate someone to stop drinking or using all we want but until that person truly wants to make that change themself, it wont happen.
@themainjane Hi Jane
www.womenslaw.com or it might be www.womenslaw.org
In spite of the name, has links and listings by state (USA) and topic re legal steps and resources related to domestic violence (e.g. not just DV perpetratrd against womrn....it is about legal matters related to ALL DV)
@SpruceRaven
thank you
@themainjane You're welcome Jane. Stay strong. Keep yourself safe. However scary the abyss on the other side...you deserve and have always deserved safety, respect, love and support. We all do. Always. No matter what.
Please keep me posted on how you are faring.
@SpruceRaven
i dont know how i'm faring. i should be okay. i'm okay phsyically.
@themainjane Hey jane. Glad you're okay physically. Want yo chat a bit? Anything you need yo release or unload or share?
@themainjane Sending you good thoughts and strength.
@Raveninthelabrynth
Hi Raven!
I'm all over lately. Tryin' to find my grounding. Find that I can really get caught up in games or movies when I'm procrastinating. Been doin' that lately, feel like I need to shut off my phone more and focus on what I need to do.
The day ain't startin' well for me, considering I've already basically been emotionally invalidated and had someone try to prove their experience meant more than mine. X_X; WTF So stupid. When did a conversation have to become some knowledge proving competition? Seriously. I kept on getting countered- I shoulda just walked away. Though, that's how it is when you deal with people who have rather narcissistic tendencies. Everything = Competition/Winner takes all. Already know not to expect anything from them before I cut them off eventually.
Another thing, my social anxiety stuff keeps getting minimalized by my psych. My experiences there. If I mentioned bullying or the stuff that's happened to me in the waiting room he just tells me it's the C-PTSD kickin' up and blah imagination! Yeah. I've only really woken up to this lately. Think I'm gonna have to have a talk with him. He's also avoided my e-mails when I ask for a call. It's very dangerous for me because of all the gaslighting, mindf***ery and invalidation I've faced so far. At this point, I don't even feel comfortable mentioning it to him. It also feels like he's bored with my case or something. Anyway...gonna try to have a good day and ignore the emotionally retarded reactive debris floating around.
Hope Raven and the rest of you have a good one. <3
@CaloenasNicobarica Minn Fraendr Pigeon. When in doubt, spread your wings an jump off the cliff. "Surley one must be lost in order to finbd ones self!
@CaloenasNicobarica Hey Pigeon....well that SUCKS! Challenged on all sides it seems you were today. 😛😥😒
You are doing so GREAT at noticing unhealthy patterns and trusting your spidey sense in that regard re: your psych blowing you off/discounting you, and brave in alrrady intending to address it.👍👍👏👏👊
I hear you re walking away....and that bemused state one can find oneself after getting caught up in in that unwinnable dance. I am doing some of my own walking away....and though I feel pretty solid about it...it also feels like failure....i mean I am a fairly articulate person and I know my own mind and heart and values so how in the f*** did thry mangage to turn everything around and pull the rug out from under me THIS time? ....aGAIN😳😧😖 . Mindf***ery INDEED!
Anyway...kudos to you for staying clear and on your feet! Keep at it! I'm pullin' for you! ...I also left some posts for you in your Nest. Stay Strong!
@CaloenasNicobarica
I like what RavenintheLabyrinth had to say about leaping off the cliff. That we must first lose ourselves to find ourselves. It seems like a # of us are right in the midst of that losing ourselves part...and it feels scary and self-annihilating as all get out.
We need to congratulate ourselves... that we have moved far enough that there is no turning back to that old unhealthy way.... we have shed that skin....and are yet raw and vulnrrable as we grow into our new size and power.
We are no longer caterpillar, and yet not quite a butterfly either. Inbetween ....i s messy.
@Raveninthelabrynth I am wonderful.
@FangsInsanity Hey Fangs, so what has your day so wonderful? and its good to hear your wonderful too
Hi,
I'm doing okay. Today. Had my friend Avery over today. We have a relationship where we cuddle as friends and give each other back massages. I got triggered a bit today, because I want to tell her when she touches me in a way that is too rough or that I don't like, but I get scared, and then also I feel like I messed up because I couldn't tell her. Thinking of maybe trying to express some of that through messenger since it's less scary for me than out loud. I also don't like when people put their arm around me without asking.
Overall though I know I need the intimacy and do enjoy spending time with her.
I am late responding, but Raven I just love how this check in was written :)
