Traumatic Experiences Community Daily Check-in February 16,2018
(oh snap-I'm a bit late)
But I'm here now
Let's do this
Morning/evening trauma communityToday I wanted to sit and talk with you on humiiation and trauma. Yes that big big word, but also a very dangerous-scary-heavy feeling to have to deal with. We all know the things that others done to us in the past haunts us,bothers us, let alone going to someone and sharing details on this all in order to heal. HUMILIATION 
Why do we feel this? Why can't we just be normal? Why can't we just share our trauma stories with someone and not feel this awful feeling?
We feel this way cause the things that were done to us are hmmmm sick, disgusting,hurtful,don't make sense. We feel these things maybe cause those things don't happen to little ones you know. We feel this way maybe due to confusion. Many things are the reason-thing is THEY-ARE-YOURS
(hugz to all of you-you all are very important here and to some out in your world. You are all special, and unique no matter what. )
Humiliation is shame. We all have it in us, some more then others. But trauma experiences give us more then just a normal anount. No one can tell you"don't feel this shame, all this was many years ago" tsk-tsk so wrong guys
A good person who has "Compassion" would share to you "That is a very heavy feeling you are dealing with due to your trauma stuff. Do you want to find ways to lesson that feeling and to deal with it?"
Well do you all want to see a few things you can try?
Good news-there is a way of healing even our most painful shaming experiences. The answer compassion. Compassion is the antidote to shame. Compassion is the only thing that can neutralize shame. Yes I'm telling truth. If we show some compassion to ourselves as well as our trauma past things. But how you say........
* Show yourself self compassion- show compassion to yourself as you would a child. Protect,reward,educate,talk to you and be gentle
*Give yourself permission to be "imperfect" who is perfect anyways-right. We have to forgive ourselves many of times when something doesn't go right. Or we fall short on issues in our lives.
*Practice some mindfulness. When doing this you automatically get connected to your inner you. You can check in with your whole self, and also allow yourself to be calm in the inside in a safe place.
*Celebrate your accomplishments. Get an extra coffee, or cookie or a new shirt or something. You deserve it. It is not easy recovering on any level on trauma things. But let yourself enjoy a much needed reward
*Maintain a journal. This is important as we forget things, even the good things in our day or week. Keep a routine daily or every other day and share in the book about all things big and small-happy or sad
There are many ways to show yourself some compassion. What will you all do or try today or this week?
@RumpleSteeleSkin
Hi Rumpleboo, and trauma folks.
The opposite of shame is compassion. Makes a lot of sense. Have been slowly learning to accept and give myself compassion over these last few years. To give it to others as well. It takes a lot of time... especially if you have to deal with those nasty embedded programs from the past. How do I give compassion to that poor little girl in that fetid room locked away with objects and abandoned animals? The little girl living under the stairs? She needs acknowledgment but is scared to even get it since it might lead to more abuse. That she doesn't deserve it.
Still feel like this little girl today. I wear my clothes til they fall apart. Sometimes I don't even brush my hair. I just feel like hiding so I don't fall victim to abuse or bullying yet again. Besides the journal(which I NEED to put positives in, thank you), mindfulness, and some other things... I've offered my little girl treats, stuffed animals, coloring books, and letting her know that she's a pretty princess despite what happened to her. She always felt ugly compared to her "beautiful" mother. Gray. A shadow. Lately, I gave her some fun girly makeup and skincare stuff. Because she's worth it, damn it. She always wanted to try that stuff, to see how it would feel. I've never been good with that kinda thing...so I'm learning.
I feel like there's this teenage part of me that has all that angst, anger, rebellion, kinda feelings. Acknowledging her, too! By letting my truths be heard, being able to stick up for myself or blatantly tell people what's up when I have a problem. It's still a bit overwhelming. She's my goth/punk side. She needs a hug, too! Damn it! XD But she's kinda haughty and doesn't want to admit it. She's also the front I put up when I try to intimidate people because I don't want to reveal my true feelings.
Okay. A text wall has been built. Time to stop. XD
@CaloenasNicobarica
HIya Caloenas so great to see you todayI agree with you, it does take time to show compassion to yourself and to others. I can so connect with you on that "little girl" and showing compassion let alone truly connecting to that side of you. No joke. But for me over the years I have just put out my hand and waited for the little hand to accept I won't let harm or danger come. I know that all sounds weird, sorry. But we all have that inner child of us. I do believe its our roots of being born in this world. We mature those as we get older.
Also thing is to feed YOU so it runs over to that "little girl" part of you. It always done. Keep working on letting go of some trauma stories, achnowledging some feelings,forgiving others and self. Continue on whatever you are doing. Honest the little girl will feel it all.Yes not caring for self is one way still in a victum role. For fear we don't get hurt again. But stats show don't matter if ur beautiful and sexxy or a bum on the streets-it will happen to any. Its sad when I wrote thatStill we need to feed ourselves with goodness no matter what. We don't give power to the abusers but to ourselves. Its timeI'm so happy to hear you say you do nice things for her...but can you turn that around and do them to you first. Do for yourself so it runs to her. Keep up the great work on this
thank you for being brave and sharing this. You are doing well, but you first ok. Also here ya go..........
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❤️⛺
@melliotm
hugsfor Melli too
@RumpleSteeleSkin Thank ye, pachyderm! Hugs ❤️⛺🐘
@RumpleSteeleSkin
hi -hides because anxious-
@sensitiveShade5337
HI Shade good to see you!
@RumpleSteeleSkin
you can't see me now, I'm hiding and I won't tell you where but it's good to see you also
I treated myself with sweets.
I also got out.
I will give myself time to be me.
@Rebekahwriter13
HI Rebeka good to see you Those are all wonderful self compassion things. I really like you saying you will give yourself timeHealing isn't a 1 day thing or has a time limit on it. And best thing you can do is nurture self and give time-great job
@RumpleSteeleSkin
I'm trying to heal but I feel like I'm stuck in the dips of a rollercoaster.
@Rebekahwriter13
Hi rebekah my pm is open if you like to chat