Traumatic Experiences Community Daily Check-in Friday 12th October
Heyy guys me and Kate decided this would be an awesome way to get to know me better, by me doing a check in myself here and there. So heyy there,.Before i write up my topic we are doing today how are you all doing today ?
Hope all is well with each and everyone of you im proud of you all
Our topic this week is Self Care & Trauma
Firstly heres a video to watch for you all click the here HERE
First thoughts on the video everyone ?
Anything helpful to take from it ?
Anything unhelpful?
It is good to note that some things in both videos wont work for everyone, it is about what methods you enjoy, that work for you, when it comes to Self Care. What are your Self Care methods you use? what works for you?
i have a 2nd video too i was using another but was removed, so i found a better one to use which also has, some SelfCare tips especially for those that don't have any, this may be a start to explore for you click the here again. HERE
I also have an article for you as i was told you want more articles so you can read that HERE
The bit to focus on in the article is Healing from Trauma, so heres the bits here i wish to focus on below
Trauma recovery tip 1: Get moving
Trauma disrupts your body
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@CaringBrit
"Self" "care"
Words that have never made sense. The blind obedience to serve stripped away any sense of self I had left.
Why would I want to care when I hate myself so much?
@affectionateNorth4018 it can be tough to care wghen youve faced trauma
why do you hate yourself so much youve done nothing wrong
@CaringBrit
I hate myself for allowing my reactions to triggers control my life, when control and cooperation were there before. I've been in a never-ending state of terror and anxiety for over a year with no meaningful progress. I'm stuck in hell.
@affectionateNorth4018 hugs if you want them north im here for you anxiety is awful to face i help members because i too have faced trauma and anxiety it is very tough especially the triggers just typing it here north takes alot of courage im sure and im proud of you for letting me in even if its a tiny bit since im still new ish im here to stay if you need a hug im here if you just want to talk im here if you need a distraction movies im here too for that
@CaringBrit
Thank you
@affectionateNorth4018 - I think it can sometimes become a viscious cycle where feeling hate towards yourself makes it hard to think self care makes sense and not caring for yourself makes it hard to see value in yourself. Even if it feels wrong, do you think it could be possible to try treating yourself with a little compassion and seeing if that starts to build over time? Even something small like saying a nice thing to yourself or giving yourself what your body needs (be it sleep or food or water) can be a good start.
@Anomalia
I do take moments for myself to sit by the lake and listen to music, but for most of my life my needs have always remained last. Not that I didn't choose to put others first though. I did.
@affectionateNorth4018 - I think taking some time to sit by a lake and listen to music is an excellent way to self care!
@CaringBrit
I am not so good a self care. For example I woke up in a panic, this is normal for me, so I made a cup of coffee and smoked a cigarette. In a time of panic stimulants are probably not the best thing, yet that is my routine. I don't know what else to say on the topic.
@practicalIdeal2007 self care takes practice its not always easy too do did you watch the vids or read article deal
how are you feeling today
@CaringBrit
Today I'm not feeling well physically or mentally. I haven't slept much in the last week and it's catching up.
@practicalIdeal2007 we are here for you Ideal and you did awesome at the open chat last night
what is one thing you could do today that would help you feel better even if a tiny bit better
not sleeping oh dear thats alot of lacking sleep
@CaringBrit
thanks, chat makes me anxious most of the time. It was okay though.
I just got out of meeting #4 at work. Why we need so many meetings I don't understand. Maybe when I get home tonight I can try to think of something to make it a little better.
@practicalIdeal2007 yikes that is alot of meetings too many maybe you could bring up that why does their need to be too many meetings why not just the one with an egenda if everything isnt covered the rest in emauil or something to get thoughts if needed
@CaringBrit
I asked my boss once why so many meetings, she said we wouldn't know what needs doing if we didn't meet, I disagee. We accomplish nothing in meetings, besides planning more meetings.
I'm finally home 14.5 hours later. I have no idea what I am going to do now. I hate weekends.
@practicalIdeal2007 Self-care isn't always easy. Thank you for coming to the open chat last night! You were great!
@practicalIdeal2007 - Maybe stimulants aren't the best way to calm panic, but I think the instinct you showed was to find something that makes you feel a little better when you were feeling panicked, and that's a self care instinct, which is a good thing. Maybe next time you could couple that with something else that feels good or calming - starting small, but letting yourself have the compassion you show others.
@Anomalia
I will try to come up with a plan. I have a hard time having compassion for myself.
@practicalIdeal2007 - I know it's not always easy. Sometimes it helps to think about how you would show compassion to someone else and applying that to yourself 
@CaringBrit
Hi
@Avaray heyy avaray how are you
@CaringBrit
Doing ok thanks x how r u
@Avaray im good
what did you think to the topic did you have any thoughts on it
@CaringBrit
I tend to hide it from most people, that's exhausting. I isolate if i can, My Psychologist says i minimalise things, for a long time life felt "distant" but lately i am getting more moments of "real" which i don't like. The problem is to protect yourself against feeling the bad one blocks the good too. My psychologist gave me a recording of him speaking through regulating my breathing to refocus when i get stressed. That does help me when i listen to it.
@Avaray im glad that really does help you and if you feel the need to protect yourself im not going to judge its what you feel you need it must be hard though when it blocks the good too though
Sometimes i just dont feel like i deserve self care.
@Npepsicola aww i think we can all agree sometimes with trauma we all may feel that way too but you certainly do deserve it
do you have any hobbies you enjoy as even a hobby can be a form of self care
@CaringBrit
I like playing piano. Maybe just listening to some music tho would be helpful.
@Npepsicola ooo awesome that you play the piano and music is fantastic for self care it can be super relaxing
what genres do you like best any particular artists you love listening too
@CaringBrit
Sometimes i like bands like switchfoot, i like soft music usually. Kellin quinn is someone that i like, and boyce avenue. Sometimes i like angry music, but not today.
@Npepsicola soft music sounds cool i havent heard of those artists i maty check them out
@Npepsicola - It can definitely be hard to be kind to yourself when you're not feeling deserving. One thing that I find helpful sometimes is to reframe and think about how you would treat another person in the same situation and then give yourself that care, when it's hard to assign the care initially to yourself, if that makes sense.
@Anomalia
I think just trying to not self harm is about the best I can do today. Ive been fighting the urges so far somehow. Self care seems like a whole other thing that feels like too much to even try. I dont know how to get through today. Im sorry
@Npepsicola its perfecrtly ok to feel the way you do what you feel is right to do matters most we are here for you
@Npepsicola - Trying not to self harm today sounds like a fantastic goal. Sometimes the best self care is just not hurting yourself more and if that's what feels manageable, then I think it's perfect.
Lending you a soft bear to squeeze if you need a safe hug or something to hold onto when those urges come
@CaringBrit
This is a great check-in. I'm really impressed by you
@incompl thank you was worried about the wording so that means alot
how did the videos and article feel to you
@CaringBrit
I am at work so can't watch the videos yet, but I liked the article.
@incompl can watch them anytime and yeah the article was very well structured full of information that i was looking for , for the check-in so im glad the article was a good one.
in the article was there anything you liked best the helpful parts
@incompl - I agree! :)
@CaringBrit - I really appreciate that you acknowledged that for some people these steps might not be possible or might be too much - they are absolutely good ideas where they work for someone, but it's also okay to be not there right now or not able and finding ways to get some of the same benefits is a helpful adaptation!
@Anomalia ty Anomalia many of the resources needed some adaptations for sure which is why it was done couldnt have found these resources to use without canvas though so they were vetted first and then pointed bits to adapt
@CaringBrit
I watched the video. Thanks for the reminders. There were lots of great ideas.
@emotionalMaple9419 your welcome and glad you thought that
I find self care hard, I feel like I have no will power or energy to devote to these things sometimes. Some of the self care activities I find triggering. Idk. I am good at some bits, and getting better at others. Just wish I was a little more consistant. :) I'll get there lol xD eventually :P
@Lilibuth12 - I think starting small is still starting! You said that you're good at some bits - are there any that you find are generally easier for you? Perhaps those would be the sorts of things that you could work on building consistency around first - perhaps even building something into an existing part of your daily routine like right when you get up or right before bed?
@Anomalia
Ahaha this is true, small is still something. I am pretty good at not isolating these days, thats most likely the easiest for me. I am not a massive people person or anything but I have a good support network thats helping me a great deal. I am now sharing stuff with people more frequently. I have here, a therapist, my partner and my best friend. Small thing but yes :D
I struggle with any physical or food related stuff. Quite frankly I get more and more uncomfortable the more I can sense my body, I hate how my skin feels and stuff, and its likely a mix between sensory issues, dissociation problems and body memories. And I used to have an eating disorder so eating a bit of a mine field for me.
I am quite good at hobbies though and mindful things that help center me. I have lego kits and stuff like that hanging around for when I need to use my hands and focus :) I am good at playing and doing stuff I find fun. Gardening :) I don't enjoy meditation as I find it often upsets me (awkward) but I find centering myself physically really helps.
@Lilibuth12 yayy proud of you for noticing the small is something at least what hobbies do you enjoy to do like i put above its ok if some of these methods arent for you everyone has their own helpful things they rather do instead meditation can be frustrating it requires patience and persistent so i dont blame you if its upsetting etc ooo gardening awesome lots of great things you mentioned you love doing in there
the more i post in here and respond to you all the more proud i get as you open up to me even if its a baby step baby steps are great we wouldnt want to rush you to big decisions etc it wouldnt be right or fair and might not be the right thing for you or safe
@Lilibuth12 it takes practice and you sure will get there lilibuth i believe in you
@CaringBrit
Thankyou :) :) :)
@Lilibuth12 your welcome
Just a hi, dont have words so trying to at least check in where I can
@crimsonLime6525 thats more than ok if no words right now we can talk about how you feel if you want too or maybe hide in the fort with movies and snacks
Today has been pretty rough. Started crying at work. It is seeping into my work performance. Luckily I have a great support system though.
@anonymoushouseplant thats awesome you have a great support system and aww sorry to hear about the rough day evn just sharing that here takes courage so proud of you and everyone here
