Traumatic Experiences Community Daily Check-in Friday 28th December
Hey Trauma Family,
So were moving on to my next part of the ACT series, i really hope in just even reading these or doing the activities on your own if you dont feel quite ready to participate on here is helpful.
Day 5: Regain Power Goal: To understand how fighting against or running away from our problems contributes to suffering.
Our natural instinct when we face a stressor or problem is to try to win (fight) or run to survive (flight). This is a hardwired process that we inherited from our ancestors to defend themselves against predators. The threats we now face today, however, are not larger predators, but internal and external experiences that cause stress.
The more we struggle against, the more we suffer. A rule that captures this idea is
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@CaringBrit
I like the first video a lot. Freeze is such an important concept to talk about when it comes to trauma, because when you're completely in the control of another person, instead of in an evenly matched fight, often the most optimal route to survival is through freezing, or in the animal kingdom how they play dead. I think that often survivors worry that because they didn't fight OR try to run away, that they wanted what happened in some way... but in reality, we just WANTED to survive. And it is ok to want to survive. It does not make you a bad person or disgusting because you wanted to survive and you responded in the only way you thought you could.
@Hoxenos yes exactly its why i felt this topic of ACT needed a video to back it up was due to the questions
@Hoxenos
I agree completely about the freeze thing. Now in school when they talk about trauma responses they say fight/flight/freeze response because the freeze response is starting to get more recognition. Sometimes freezing and not fighting back is the best you can do.
I have a situation with someone I live with who is a major bully and super triggering and I tried to fight back and it made things worse for me, so then I fled for a while and took a break from being at the house, and that didn't really help either, but now I'm just like, "you know what, I'm done fighting and running from this, it takes too much energy that I don't have." So now I just don't talk to the person, I keep my distance, but I don't let her dictate what I can and cannot do inside the house anymore.
I have found in a lot of situations that once I stopped fighting against the threat that things start to get better. I've also found that a lot of times running from the threat has made things worse though it's really hard to control the instinct to fight and run. My PTSD symptoms have gotten worse to the point that I have psychotic features (mostly delusions and paranoia) when I am incredibly triggered, I get super defensive thinking that the people who are trying to help me are actually hurting me more (because it's happened so much) and so in the hospital I start panicking and demanding to be allowed ot go home, one time even called the police because I was freaking out so bad (I was never like this before this year) and then they give me strong antipsychotic and anxiety meds and when I realize that I was over reacting I feel so embarrassed.
This is a really good topic to discuss thanks @caringbrit for bringing it up!
@InvaderStitch it is after all within the ACT series ive been covering for the past 5 weeks plus as had a few reflection style posts inbetween too
but when those particular questions appeared i thought a video was definetly needed
and your welcome
yes definetly flight is lets run avoid get away from situation fight fight back kinda obvious isnt it which true doesnt always work at all but then freeze you just dont put any energy in at all
@CaringBrit
While I answered the fight or flight questions in another post, I did want to share the accomplishments one because I hope that maybe it inspires others who feel like they can't catch a break. This last year I spent a lot of time in and out of hospitals and spent several months homeless. I also moved 2 states away from everyone I know and love and had to give my dog up for adoption (which was the hardest thing I've had to do because she was my reason for living). This year was so stressful and brought up so many more trauma symptoms than I'd ever dealt with but I got through them.
After sleeping in my car in January I went to school and took a test and got an A on it, I missed an entire month of class but still managed to pass the class I was taking. In May I hoped to graduate, but I was under a lot of pressure from family and life and ended up in the hospital before I could finish the other classes. My anthropology professor would not respond to me for several months so I went to the deans office and they figured something out for me, I had to write an appeal that ended up being about 7 pages but after explaining my situation I was given a passing grade because I had done enough work to pass and it wasn't my fault my professor wouldn't respond, and December 7, the day after my friend's memorial I turned in my last assignments for my last class, and on December 21st I found out I passed and that I am now a college graduate. I live in the place I have wanted to move since I was 16 (I'm 28 now) and I am starting a new job as a behavior therapist, working 1-1 with kids on the autism spectrum doing ABA therapy! Are things easy? No, but they are getting better because even though there are days that all I want to do is give up because progress has felt so slow, I kept going, and I keep going to see where life leads me, hoping that it continues to move forward.
As far as future goals?
I want to get mental health education and trauma informed care into the school system and have teachers trained better on how to spot trauma symptoms early and have kids learn more about how to deal with their negative emotions in a more productive way. I'd like to see kids screened for ACEs every few years so that early intervention for traumatic experiences can be put in place before it gets too bad. I would also like to see centers that allow at risk children and youth to learn whatever skills they would like in order to give them something that makes them feel good about themselves so they have something positive to focus on instead of all of the chaos in their lives. I want to make a difference in the world so that the world is a better place for everyone.
@InvaderStitch reading your story is truly inspirational , im sure the community would appreciate reading it too stitch. You have been through so much but yet never gave up so yayy and made it through which must have taken tons of strength great job
i also love those goals and agree with them all even in britain they need to be doing more when it comes to bullying in schools or kids with trauma etc
@CaringBrit
Thank you for this. There is sooo much good information here to think about.
Maybe it is too hard to talk about that...so instead I will just say that I'm feeling some better now that the stress of the holiday has passed...plus, I have had some time off work to rest.
@ReallyRuth theirs really no rush on getting a response on this activity you can always bookmark and come back to it when you feel ready
im glad holidays are over too so understand the stress that comes with it
your also welcome for the topic and rest sounds awesome
@ReallyRuth Congratulations for making it through the holidays! You deserve to do something nice for yourself.
Today is a better day than yesterday
@wittySpruce8187 yayy for better days witty
@wittySpruce8187 
Wonderful first video on trauma. I have used all three responses - fight, flight or freeze- over my lifetime of various kinds of traumas.
There is also a fourth type of response called- fawn- which is described in "Complex PTSD- From Surviving to Thriving" by Pete Walker. In the book these responses are referred to as "The 4F's." A very good read on the subject and a great book I keep around for recovery and reference.
@emotionalMaple9419 i havent heard of the 4th one before
@CaringBrit
Here is a quote about Fawning which helped me understand one of my types of reactions to trauma.
In Pete Walker's book, page 13, it says "A fawn response is triggered when a person responds to threat by trying to be pleasing or helpful in order to appease and forestall an attacker."
@emotionalMaple9419 I didn't know about this either. Thanks for mentioning! I'm going to look it up this weekend.
@emotionalMaple9419 ah that makes sense ty for adding that
Hello.
I am not feeling well today. Im sorry. I just want it all to stop. I want to learn how to stop hating myself. I keep crying today. I hate nearly everything about myself today. Didnt know it was possible to feel as disgusted by someone as I sometimes do by myself.
I know in part Im overreacting to some things that were said to me yesterday. I think they had some triggers from the abuse when I was young and from a very very very low self-esteem. Sometimes I feel like everyone be better off without me. I know its not true, but I still fight thats all about. Im sorry, Im not being positive right now which is basically what I got in trouble for yesterday. I dont know what I think about anything anymore just that everything seems all upside down and backwards. I thought I was a good person, I was finally starting to feel that way then all the stuff comes. I definitely made some mistakes that were brought to my attention that I had already started attempting to correct them but the way it was brought to my attention was very painful for me. I know people were trying and they were right to tell me about it because I did need to know in order to be able to make changes so that the situation worked for everyone, not just me.
I feel so unwanted a lot. I am sorry. But I am not sorry for being abused. Because that was not my fault. That was entirely the fault of the person who hurt me and it was 100% out of my control. At least I can say that.
@pioneeringBanana1598 vent away if you need pioneering sorry for delay in response by time you posted it was late for me to respond
if youd like a hug my offer is there you are very safe here
Im struggling. I feel like im invisible. I dont know what to do.
@Npepsicola
I hear you. I am sorry for your struggle.
@Npepsicola your not alone and in here your definetly not invisible
hugs if you would like one
Questions for you:
1.What are some examples of fight reactions? I get mean, tell off people or growl, slam things, pure anger
2..What are some examples of flight reactions? Run away from problems, avoid them, in a fantasy world
3.What colour would best describe how you are feeling today? Kind like swirled colors in water that swirl into a mud like color
4.What are your goals you wish to achieve? Next year I want to lose weight, get healthier, publish some of my writing
would you like to share them with us.
Have you achieved any goals you are proud of and wish to share? This year I wrote over 200 blogs and 500,000 words
@Rebekahwriter13 awesome on the achievements you made and the goals you wish to acvhieve are awesome too
