Traumatic Experiences Community Daily Check-in: Friday, 7th February 2020
Heyyy Trauma Community, guess who is back on their check-in days I have deeply missed you all
today's topic is Setting Goals it can be very hard for any of us to do especially with Trauma
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Sorry for the many images i loved quite a few of them and felt some of them were needed especially the cute S.M.A.R.T gif then explaining what each part of that means when both planning and achieving any goals you set i understand how setting goals with trauma can be difficult especially since I can relate but I hope you give this a try when you feel ready.
What is a SMART Goal?
Goals are part of every aspect of business/life and provide a sense of direction, motivation, a clear focus, and clarify importance. By setting goals for yourself, you are providing yourself with a target to aim for. A SMART goal is used to help guide goal setting. SMART is an acronym that stands for Specific, Measurable, Achievable, Realistic, and Timely. Therefore, a SMART goal incorporates all of these criteria to help focus your efforts and increase the chances of achieving that goal.
SMART goals are:
Specific: Well defined, clear, and unambiguous
Measurable: With specific criteria that measure your progress towards the accomplishment of the goal
Achievable: Attainable and not impossible to achieve
Realistic: Within reach, realistic, and relevant to your life purpose
Timely: With a clearly defined timeline, including a starting date and a target date. The purpose is to create urgency.
Now lets dive deeper into each area
SMART Goal – Specific
Goals that are specific have a significantly greater chance of being accomplished. To make a goal specific, the five W questions must be considered:
Who: Who is involved in this goal?
What: What do I want to accomplish?
Where: Where is this goal to be achieved?
When: When do I want to achieve this goal?
Why: Why do I want to achieve this goal?
SMART Goal – Measurable
A SMART goal must-have criteria for measuring progress. If there are no criteria, you will not be able to determine your progress and if you are on track to reach your goal. To make a goal measurable, ask yourself:
How many/much?
How do I know if I have reached my goal?
What is my indicator of progress?
SMART Goal – Achievable
A SMART goal must be achievable and attainable. This will help you figure out ways you can realize that goal and work towards it. The achievability of the goal should be stretched to make you feel challenged, but defined well enough that you can actually achieve it. Ask yourself:
Do I have the resources and capabilities to achieve the goal? If not, what am I missing?
Have others done it successfully before?
SMART Goal – Realistic
A SMART goal must be realistic in that the goal can be realistically achieved given the available resources and time. A SMART goal is likely realistic if you believe that it can be accomplished. Ask yourself:
Is the goal realistic and within reach?
Is the goal reachable given the time and resources?
Are you able to commit to achieving the goal?
SMART Goal – Timely
A SMART goal must be time-bound in that it has a start and finish date. If the goal is not time constrained, there will be no sense of urgency and motivation to achieve the goal. Ask yourself:
Does my goal have a deadline?
By when do you want to achieve your goal?
check-in questions
1. What kinds of goals are more likely to make us motivated to achieve them?
2. What features of goal setting are important, if we want to ensure they are more likely to be successfully achieved?
3.what goals do you have and which ones do you wish to achieve first. remember to use S.M.A.R.T as explained above?
4. how have you found setting goals in your own experience do you find it easy/ difficult and why
if you do not wish to participate in the topic that is fine just a regular check-in for you how are you feeling today anything on your mind you wish to discuss what's going well not so well for you
hope many of you choose to join in on the topic along with some of the regular check-in questions listed above this sentence.
resource used https://corporatefinanceinstitute.com/resources/knowledge/other/smart-goal/
Taglist
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@CaringBrit just going to say welcome back and a quick hi, too many words for me to read on this post right now but will come back to it another time
@crimsonLime6525 no worries lime and ty how have you been
Hello CareBrit..........Welcome back. I missed seeing your face on the check-ins. Hope all is well
Great check in very mind provoking. I have never been good at setting goals and following through on them. To me when I did try to set goals they always seemed to fall through. In saying that most of the time I find that just setting my mind on what it is I want to do has proven to work better for me. Maybe because I programed my mind to think that (LOL) I am a very organized person and must have order and that has been my strong 
point. I am able to meet my expectations a bit better without getting over whelmed. Setting goals like that makes me feel anxious and That makes me panic if I miss the mark.
We all define goals differently- it is thought provoking to see how specific these goal setting can be.
@barncat indeed our experiences are very different so of course, things might work one way for one person a different way for another so makes sense we see goal-setting differently too
@scarletPear1945
awwww and thank you for the welcome back, all is great ty for asking
thankyou I do love this topic when I wrote it glad you like it. aww I understand how setting goals can be hard to do especially following through and then when we don't we feel frustrated panicked etc so I'm glad you found a way that works for you as that's awesome
yay for having a strong point being organized is defo a strong point .
i hope you're also doing well today
@CaringBrit
Check in - I feel tired. I felt like I froze in December, and I haven't quite thawed out yet. I got a therapist and have had one visit with them now, so I feel a little more hopeful than I have in a while.
Lately my goals have been simple, like 'drink water', or 'stay alive today'. I'm hoping I can get beyond just survival goals eventually, but first things first, yeah?
Tonight I was able to open up to my best friend about stuff I've hardly been able to talk about for months, so I'm pleased by that progress.
Thank you for this post! I want to read it in depth later, but today's more of a 'get through today without pushing yourself too hard' kind of day.
@HunterRose
aww no feeling tired is this the drained tired or just general tired and aww no holidays aren't easy for any of us in this community is December one of those difficult times for you I hope you thaw out when you feel ready and we are here for you and yay on the therapist di that visit I presume go really well especially since your feeling more hopeful
that's perfectly ok everyone's at different stages and if yours are simple self-care related/survival goals that is perfectly understandable
that's awesome you opened up to your friend awesome job
your welcome and read over it at any time
hugs if you'd like one take it easy
@CaringBrit
Tired because insomnia and general stress
I think being frozen is my way of coping until I get to a better space. December is generally stressful, and was even more so due to fresh trama this year
I've already been able to talk about a little of it to my therapist in that first visit, so yeah it was really helpful to talk to someone who won't treat it like it's taboo. Being honest is really important to me, so it's nice knowing there's at least one person I don't have to sugar-coat things around, or withhold info from to protect someone else's privacy.
I struggle with perfectionism and have some unrealistic expectations of of myself, so thank you for helping me reaffirm what I'm trying to tell myself, that it's okay to be where I'm at in my recovery.
Hugs accepted and reciprocated anytime
I don't want to be dismissive but honestly I found focusing on goals is not helpful when you have trauma. Goals are outcome orientated and send me into a headspin of performance related thought processes. Kicks of my perfectionistic personality, or the obsessive thoughts come back up, or feel like a failure everytime I see the dishes piling up in the sink.
The reality is we only got a certain about of mental and physical energy, if im stuck in a body memory and can't get out of bed no goal to do dishes today is realistic even if I really want to.
But after a few years of tinkering with life style and making things simplier to do, I have worked out that it is systems that matter and not goals, because systems build habit.
In the last 3 months I started to look at trauma and dissociation as a 'working memory' issue. The most energy required in doing something is starting, but I didn't start because I didn't know what to do, and I couldn't work out what to do when stressed/triggered etc. So I ended up doing nothing.
When I realised it was a working memory capacity it helped me to observe, if I am triggered I dont do anything but self care. If I am not triggered then I know I can catch up with dishes worst case 2 hrs (if littles help it takes longer), or best case 20 mins. So when I look at dishes now I don't see I failed at my goal of keeping the sink clean... I see 20mins of work when littles are inside for adult me to catch up when I feel better. No guilt or shame leaving it there until I'm ready. If I need a dish in the mean time I just wash that dish and that is it. Seriously helped/actually life changing.
@LifeIsMyCanvas
Heyy canvas its good to see you again and your not being dismissive at all every one of us experience things differently some find goals help some don't that's just the way it is if you feel they don't help that's valid as you know what works best for you
I'm sorry it sends you in a headspin but I'm glad you found your way of dealing with things especially dishes just doing the one you need to use that saving the rest till you feel up to it
I remember doing a check-in on the energy using spoons and fork theory maybe I should do a refresher on that topic to somewhat follow on from this one for next week and i agree only having a certain amount of energy and true not realistic if stuck in that memory for sure
as I mentioned before I'm glad you have a method that works for you and i remember you have DID right I hope all is well with your system canvas I'm still not knowledged on it but been watching various YouTubers who have it to learn from them and seeing how they communicate work together to take care of the body get things done etc is inspiring to see
definitely getting tarted uses most energy once started your past the hard part but getting started can be very difficult indeed I understand that part all too well when it comes to keeping the house clean
@CaringBrit
The spoon theory is great, I just did a podcast about systems vs goals and used that in it. I think it kind of make sense for people with DID systems to find systems more helpful then goals as our brains are literally wired that way!?
The Entropy System on YT has a great video about the spoon theory, super helpful. I don't remember all the rules about posting links to mine/others videos, it used to be ok, then I got told off, then someone said it was ok again but idk so yeah I thought you could search for it if you wanted.
Good to see you again ^_^
@LifeIsMyCanvas yeah thats the video i used in my checkin when i was in my beginning stages on this team as a checkin poster i think ive found my next topic then and cheers canvas its good to be back
@LifeIsMyCanvas entropy system are so sweet the way they end their videos are so warming i watch DissociaDID and Team Pinatas vids too and multplucity n me
Check in-I'm actually feeling pretty great!!!
My two goals are: starting a comic strip and getting a service dog.
@AlexFox800
awesome to hear your feeling great and great goals too