Traumatic Experiences Community Daily Check-in Monday 6th November 2017
G'day
Its Tenacity and rozie here with you today. A new day and a new week,.. yesterday is gone, tomorrow isn't here, so all we have is today. Let's live each moment as it comes.
We were talking recently and Tenacity, who is quite a writer, came up with this quote which we're sharing with you today. It goes like this.... "I was riding along the path and I couldn't see me getting to the end of it. I stopped looking at the end of the path,but rather just looking at the next pavement stone.I could see myself getting there. I kept just getting to the next stone, then eventually got to the end of the path. I looked back, and the distance I thought I couldn't do, I had already done without even realizing it."
How often when we look to the end of the path does it seem too far, too difficult, too overwhelming. But if we focus on the next "pavement stone" and take that step, and then the next one after that, we will get there and be surprised at how far we have come. This can be applied to what's ahead in our day too. By breaking it down into small manageable steps, we can do one step at a time, and are less likely to become overwhelmed.
How is your day going? How has looking at the next "pavement stone" helped you to accomplish something that seemed very big?How can you see this helping you? Do ask for support if you need this. Or pop in to say hi! Love to hear from you. This is your space and a safe place. Luv from Tenacity and Rozie. x
@rozie Hi!!! Your post reminds a very important truth. Especially, people who suffered from trauma, try to look ahead, so that no trauma like before happens. And at the end, this makes his/her situation more difficult. So It will always a struggle to live in the present, for trauma survivors. But still, we have to try. We have to try to stay at the present moment. We have to try to focus here and now. Who knows, this mindfulness will bring new surprises along the way....
@Saif1for1Resilience You are so right Saif, Trauma survivors do strive to ensure that what they went through and what happened previously doesnt happen again, and this can be for lots of reasons. One of those reasons is not repeating the past, trying to keep people they love safe in the here and now, and also not being revictimised. It is a struggle also for trauma survivors to remain in the present but it is possible especially once the trauma from the past has been processed so it affects less of your life in the present day :)
@dancingRainbow45 Thanks for elaborating on the topic. In my recovery path,I tried mindfulness exercises by myself. It was really a struggle.. I became so self-critical for my apparent failures back then. Later when I started going through trauma literature, I forgave myself easily for the struggle. I understood I waa indeed a trauma victim and my traumatic past is the reason for my difficulty in mindfulness exercises. Not my lack of will or insincerity, which I thought initially.
@butters45 Your most welcome :) Mindfulness as with any new techniques you begin to learn in your trauma healing, don't always come easy for a lot of trauma Survivors and often takes a lot of practise, hard work and willingness to give things a go, even if at first they dont work. it can be easy when things dont go the way we plan, to use that as further ammunition to beat ourselves up, bu you are right in what you said in your post, when people have trauma issues, it can make things much more difficult to deal with. Not only are you having to cope in the here and how and with day to day functioning but also trying to cope with past issues that very much affect pretty much every aspect of day to day living. The key sometimes is not to quit, not to fall down and stay down, but to get back up about, give yourself a break and keep trying, keep moving on and finding that fight within, not to quit trying :)
@dancingRainbow45 Thanks a lot!!! Your encouragement means a lot. I read your reply multiple times. I took a screenshot of the reply too. It really made my day!!!
@butters45 awww glad it helped butter :) sometimes taking screenshots of things said that stood out, or even a therapist recording a personal message to help us get through tough times can be really useful when we need those reminders :)
@rozie @Tenacity Beautiful words to hear today. Thank you and Much Love. 
To add or remove a tag, please click --> here
@Avaray @Shadeshack @BeeLeigh @Faeryschild @dancingRainbow45 @Lavendermoonlight @KLM3278 @jr50 @agreeableKite4304 @PhoenixPatronus @Morfo66 @raycascotch @sujaypai @KatieMoon1 @Tamba @Jenna0903 @melliotm @PanamaBanana @inventiveOrange1 @HearingYourHeart @TreesandWine @guyb@chayil @Sharkradio @MKjart @Chayil @Lilyflower0817 @caterpillargirl @Survivetoalive @exuberantTriangle2562 @coraline23 @Ivorycat5573 @fearlessPear8268 @SemicolonSurvivor @weare1 @weareall1 @Annaka1 @moonchild95 @summernight69 @sheaintgotnoshoes @rationalWillow8882 @DeborahUK @AMusicalSilence @catsith @energeticPenny8 @Rebekahwriter13 @behindhazeleyes @sensitiveShade5337 @singercrystalspirit @wittyTree8219 @Ocendade @Rpjrx @Autisaunt14 @Brooke12 @tenacity37 @Raveninthelabrynth @Axeman53 @kkSp3nc3 @22charms @blissedNblessed @Softforesthsp77 @AriannaPink @sereneSoul23 @promisemehope @IPreferWinter @Zombii @Godborned @Jessica86 @resourcefulPond1641 @Lilibuth12 @Tir @Michelle0608 @The_Final_Chapter @Halogen @BubblegumPuppy68 @ScarletPearl1945 @CaloenasNicobarica @Hoxenos @Christine1980 @TheresaWilliams @LovelyChantel @Compassionatelistener108 @LovelyChantel @Pureriver56 @CaloenasNicobarica @unassumingSummer6022 @Reedrainshimmer @resourcefulPond1642 @Kuma0187 @NonHoPaura @themainjane @Compassionatelistener108 @courageousNorth9872 @NacienteLuz @caterpillargirl @Waterlily16 @Helpfulsoul64 @FrankieDylan
@rozie I keep thinking that today is Tuesday, what with your byline up today. 😊
Feeling rather 'off' today. Lots of vivid, unsettling dreams last night. Woke up with my mind racing and my meditation app on the fritz (it's working now thankfully).
One of those days, as they say.
I did a lot yesterday (for which I'm proud of myself) -- brunch with my little one, immediately followed by a big shopping trip, all on the first day of EST. All this extra activity and overstimulation seem to have pushed me beyond my limits, and today I'm paying for it with mental/physical fatigue and discomfort. Am having to sit with and manage the resulting anxious feelings as they (slowly, tediously) pass through, which they always eventually do.
In the meantime, I'm doing my best to pause, breathe, not look too far ahead down the path (nor allow the inner critic to seize the opportunity to compound my symptoms with self indictment). Is simply a message that my stress cup overfloweth. Trying to observe without judgement and respond with kindness and self compassion while I recover.
Tl;dr: My brain and body feel exhausted and overwhelmed, thus, self care measures are in order (and well deserved).⛺⛺⛺
@melliotm
Yes one of those days! They happen, and often follow a day that has taken a lot of effort and managing to get through. Good on you for being proud of what you accomplished yesterday.! But for today and listening to yourself you know what's needed... and I know you will take good care of yourself. x
@Rozie
Hi Rozie, I'm sad & struggling a lot today. And, yesterday was one of the worst days of my life. I know you will understand, to a degree, about why. My therapy dog, Boo Bear, died. I brought her home when she was just 3 days old, and I've had her for over 17 years. I have two other dogs, but Boo was trained as a therapy dog, and she & I had an incredible, indescribeable bond. I have not been successful connecting and forming relationships/friendships with my peers, or more truthfully, humans over the age of 5 (I connect deeply with very young children, and they bond very easily with me). So Boo's death yesterday has left me such a painful emptiness. My struggles with autism, sensory integration issues, severe social anxiety, and my daily challenges trying to cope with PTSD and depression were somehow managable with Boo beside me, comforting me, sensing when my depression, and suicidal thoughts were leading me into a danger zone. I've been through SO many devastating experiences & major losses..and Boo went through those things as well. I did not want to come home from work tonight because the first thing I see every time I come home, unlock my door and open it a crack...is Boo's nose. She is always so excited to see me that she uses her nose to push the open quicker. Where ever I've lived, most neighbors and others don't know my name. I just kindly referred to as, "The lady with the 3 dogs." People know and remember my dogs names: Miss Boo, Mister Magoo, & Louie Lou, and I was rarely seen without my constant companions. I miss my best friend in the world so much, and nothing eases my pain, or distracts me from it. It is a reverberating hurt that is triggered by so many things I cannot avoid. I always wanted to die BEFORE Boo so I wouldn't have to endure this awful & agonizing pain, and feel so lost and alone.
@caterpillargirl Oh Dear I am so sorry to hear this news. Losing such a close and trusted friend can leave our world upside down. I know there are no words I can say that would change much what you are going through hon. Please remember the Trauma Support Team, the Wonderful Members of our Community, and I am here for you. Please lean on us all as you need or wish. I also hope you make use of your support network out side The Cup. Post me anytime you need or wish hon, please do take good care of yourself. (((HUGE HUGS)))
@caterpillargirl
Oh my heart goes out to you Cat..and I can empathize with you in this loss of your beautiful Boo (tears in my eyes as I write) I know Boo meant so much to you, shared so much of your journey, understood and comforted you. You will miss her so. and will grieve.There are some comforting words on www.petloss.com that may help you. Remember you are not alone. We are here with you.Hugs. x
@caterpillargirl
I'm sorry to hear you lost such an important friend and also about knowing some of your problems. I hope 7 Cups helps you cope with all (or at least a part) of that. You're clearly on the right track, by sharing these experiences, and by the little I know I believe you're an extremely brave and kind person :) Take good care
As for me, my most traumatic experiences are: 1) The brief psycothic breakdown I had 5 years ago, from which my life changed completely and major problems appeared: anxiety, drowsiness, lack of energy and depression ; 2) The death of my grandmother and my grandfather and aunt having cancer; 3) Nightmares
@PedroMAlves
Hi, thank you for sharing with us..and sorry for the traumatic experiences you have been affected by.And for the loss of your grandparents.. were you close to them? Grieving takes time and is painful, so be gentle with yourself. And with your aunt being ill too.Hoping you are getting support, and know that we are here in support too. x
@rozie
Thank you, and sorry for the late reply.
I "only" lost my grandmother (my English probably wasn't well articulated, I meant that both my grandfather and aunt have cancer), and she was very close, totally a second mom.
@caterpillargirl so very sorry. We are with you. Please hang on and know you are not alone. Hugs
@caterpillargirl ❤️❤️❤️❤️❤️❤️❤️❤️ So so so sorry for your loss, Cat.
@rozie
I've been having a tough time. Not sleeping much because I'm getting nightmares about the trauma again but I'm trying my best to stay strong...
@InsomniaMilk
nightmares can be really hard (i get them too) but you're reaching out and that is a really positive step.
how do you normally resettle after nightmares?
I find grounding helps, because the trauma is past, they can't hurt you anymore, trying to remain within the moment, breathing, using your senses can be a great way to remind yourself that it's in the past and it's not happening now.
I know it's hard, but you're doing really well! It's not easy opening up and you just did that.
