Traumatic Experiences Community Daily Check-in Monday November 27 2017.
Hello Trauma Community! 
Welcome to all the friendly faces and the people joining us for the very first time! This week Ive been pondering about how sometimes feeling stuck one moment can make us forget all the progress, all the good that we have made.
It has been a terrible, horrible, no good, very bad day. My mom says some days are like that. Even in Australia. - Alexander and the Terrible, Horrible, No Good, Very Bad Day by Judith Viorst
I think it happens because we are expecting big changes to happen overnight, instead of gradually and we dont see that, in every moment of joy, in every small win, we are walking forward.
The matter with human beans, the BFG went on, is that they is absolutely refusing to believe in anything unless they is actually seeing it right in front of their own schnozzles.- The BFG by Roald Dahl
So we need reminders to recognize and celebrate! Mindfulness, gratefulness, positive thinking and happy memories. This last week I asked one of the members, to try and think of 6 positive things in her life whenever she felt lonely, much like Alice in Wonderland thinks up 6 ridiculous things before breakfast.
So today I want to know a few things, guys:
What little reminders keep you going?
Do you have any tips to get out of the Im stuck mentality?
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Its been a while since I have been on 7 cups, I was doing really well for a little while. Anyway sorry not really read the first post, I just need to spill part of my day/week.
I have realised over the last week that I have high functioning autism (aspergers). And like. I've been all over the place. My therapist basically lead me down the route and I finally looked into and it explains like 90% of the issues I have had growing up and in daily life. How I easily trusted peoople and so many things.
But the worst thing is I have now realised all the things and reasons my parents abused and hurt me for where things I couldn't help and didn't and couldn't have known better. I didn't know why I should be sorry, I just knew I had to say it. I didn't know why asking why was annoying, I couldn't even tell my voice was loud and still cant. I wasn't talking back, I was genuinly confused, I didn't know they were angry. I couldn't sense they were sad. I didn't know that I was stressed passed the point of sanity and that I was going to melt down. I wasn't throwing an tantrum every time, I couldn't cope, and they just kept pushing me.
Sorry its been overwhelming to realise that despite so many really obvious symptoms noone ever pointed it out or supported me. Needed to share that, so sorry if its a bit random.
@Lilibuth12
Welcome back to cups! and no worries about reading the post, this is your daily check- in :)
Getting diagnosed with anything is always a hard moment, a new label takes some time to accept, but I'm glad you finally found out and things make so much more sense. Remember, you are still the same person, but now you can know yourself better. Better late than never!
I am very sorry to hear about your family experience growing up. Unfortunately it is very common for parents of aspies/auties to mistake autism for tantrums. Very frustrating, but parents in general try their best and don't have any guides to follow to make it easier. Perhaps they can now learn about Asperger's with you.
Big penguin hugs Lili!
@Lilibuth12 Hi there Lili,
feels a bit like I'm talking to parts of my past self. A similar thing happened to me, that during treatment for trauma we figured out certain symptoms weren't going away and my therapist introduced the idea of Asbergers. I remember feeling angry about being especially vulnerable, having another WORD to classify me. Feeling set back again.
But there are positives. You have explanations for why you are the way you are. Asbergers isn't debilitating, it's more like seeing and feeling the world differently. There are also a LOT of resources out there! You're not alone in this, even though I'm sure having another diagnosis makes you feel isolating, it actually gives you even more company! There are a fair amount of us here in the trauma subcommunity, even.
You picked the right word, though. Overwhelming. Talk to who you need to to help you process the news. It can be scary at first but we're here for you.
@PenguinsCrossing
'lo Penguins and trauma folks!
Well, I'm back. After I disappeared last time a lot went on. I failed my test the first time, then I had a mental breakdown. Then I miraculously got up again and immediately started reconciling myself to get the second attempt in order and to study my feathery behind off. I was gonna go with this study plan that someone suggested, but others were pressuring me to get it done quicker. I shouldn't have listened. Because I have my own pace for a reason. And I WILL get it done, eventually. I didn't take too much time to revise my knowledge But I was super stressed and ended up needing to take my anxiety meds to calm down. Well, got the second attempt approved and I got a 90/100. Yay. I now am completely done with that semester, paperwork and all. Think I got a last call thing for awhile with my advisor, but that's it.
Just wanted to say how important it was to come on here and be supported by you folks a week or two ago. I felt genuinely inspired and cared for! So thanks again. I was really grateful to all those who came together and were supportive, and even the admin kinda stuff how people were so efficient and kind. I plan on doing the check-ins since I'm back again. I'm in the process of writing off a letter/post to a friend right now. It's good to see all of you again.
In response to the initial post-
I try to practice mindfulness/gratitude everyday. Giving thanks at mealtime, giving thanks for a lot of things. Meditation and general mindfulness is good as well.
As far as resetting myself- I'll do random stuff. Play with the animals, watching animals or cooking shows on YT, having some tea and candlelit bath, reading, etc. Sometimes I have to force myself away from my schoolwork or a problem that's difficult to solve- of course, I also need a break from my chaotic home life. That's when it's nice to embrace being alone in silence. A nice nap usually does the trick. I've learned a lot from cats. XD
@CaloenasNicobarica
Wow! thats so much in such small amount of time. You are very strong and I'm glad the community helped you out. I'm sure you will achieve everything you want to do, little by little. Thanks for sharing!
@CaloenasNicobarica Hey I'm glad that things are working out again and I'm extra glad that it was because you listened and trusted yourself. You know you best!!
And yeah I'm pretty sure cats have this whole life thing pretty figured out. We could probably all stand to learn some lessons from them xD
wowone firendbothp arnets got caner.
one buddy ahsa parent in hospital,
i got passt up 2 buses.
everytihng is going wrong today
@reachforgoals
Hi! Thanks for sharing and reaching out, I hope things get better for you soon.
@reachforgoals
It's really tough when a bunch of things pile up at once. It sounds like you're feeling pretty emotionally overwhelmed right now. Remember that despite these things happening to other people, to take care of yourself. Reach out and chat with people, stay connected. We're here for you :)
