Traumatic Experiences Community Daily Check-in November 1, 2017

Holidays can be so difficult for those among us who are dealing with any sort of trauma in their lives. Days are short., memories are surficing, feelings are awake and raw, people remembering loss, many fighting depression and lonliness. Whatever it might be it is tough-right! Some may want to hug grandma, play with the neices and nephews, sit at the tables and eat and not in our rooms crying of fear. hugs

The holidays and other life celebrations are especially painful for trauma survivors who may experience

Outsideness. The holidays emphasize the fact that trauma survivors do not experience life as other people do. Trauma has robbed them of the normal life everyone else seems to enjoy. Other people seem happy, yet their emotions are out of control and they often find themselves on the verge of desperation.

Survivor guilt. The holidays can elevate grief for lost friends and loved ones.

Rage. A common symptom of PTSD is anger and rage. Rage serves a useful purpose as a survival response during was or sexual assault, but it loses its purpose as a coping mechanism after the event. However, people with PTSD become stuck in their trauma or traumas because the event has been processed primarily on only one side of the brain.

Agitation in crowds. Trauma survivors experience anxiety and agitation in crowds. The stimulation of noise and movement tells their brain to scan for danger and a means of escape. Their brain slips into hyper vigilant mode as a means of protection, making it nearly impossible for them to relax or enjoy a simple conversation.

So whats the solution? How can trauma survivors handle stress-filled holidays?

Know your triggers and get creative Are big crowds tough for you? Then consider asking a friend to video your childs recital or church drama so you can watch it at home in private. Make the event a family celebration you can view together. Cant manage the mall without a meltdown? Shop online or ask a friend to do it for you.

Pre-plan your coping strategies Give yourself permission to leave events early. Think through how youll manage stressful scenarios and how youll recognize when its time to head home. If you struggle with alcohol or food addiction, plan how youll eat in moderation or handle the temptation to drink.

Look for alternative ways to celebrate Lets face it, family gatherings can be tough for anybody under any conditions. Give yourself permission to Skype in to the celebration. Or set time limits to get in and out within an hour. Or suggest that you stop by to contribute in a particular way (bring dessert or appetizers) that allows you to be present and then make a gracious exit.

Create new rituals that give you a sense of significance and purpose Perhaps you dont want to decorate this year–consider, instead, how you might help with a celebration at a nursing home, homeless shelter, or a hospitalized family separated by illness (call your local childrens hospital for ideas).

Focus on people in need One of the best ways to create significance from your loss is by investing in someone else. Work with homeless vets. Spend time with trafficked or battered women or those who are living in shelters in your community. The possibilities are limitless.

Create a support network Line up your best advocates and accountability partners to help you walk through tough events and even hang out with you. Be sure youve got someone on your list that you feel free to call 24/7.

Focus on positive self-talk Those of us who struggle with PTSD tend to default to black-and-white thinking. The truth is that things dont always have to be the way theyve been in the past. You can change, and you have the power to make that change positive.

Engage in behaviors that build resilience Research shows that people build resilience as they 1) pursue an active coping style of facing their fears, managing their emotions, and problem-solving; 2) engage in physical exercise; 3) cultivate a positive outlook; 4) develop and live by meaningful principles; 5) seek social support; and 6) look for good in bad situations.

Most of all think of you. You deserve to smile and feel joy and love too on holidays. You all can do this one step at a time. Come on I'll walk those steps with you all and celebrate all the little accomplishments you all make. hugs

<-------walking with you

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