Traumatic Experiences Community Daily Check-in Saturday 1st of December, 2018
Happy Saturday to you! It is always so awesome to be here with you and I am really excited to hear from you a here. 
How are you feeling? :)
You know it was a big surprise for me but can you believe November is already over? 
Usually I do not care about these kind of dates but it just happened so that there was a whole lot of thing happening with me last month and actually there are some changes for me that will happen over this weekend so, in a sense,actually my December will be different than my November was in some small ways.
Anyways, how was this past month for you? If you would like to share anything I would be glad to listen :)
Of course, I know that this last month of the year can be really hard for some as well and it can be scary going into it or just to acknowledge the passage of time at times.
What are your feelings about this up-coming month? Is there something you are looking forward for or maybe something you are not?
I know I am looking forward for all the pretty lights but I also know that Christmas is usually hard for me but, still, you know, pretty lights :P
I mean, I am like a cat, easy to be distracted with pretty, shiny things. >.<
Either way tho, I am just happy to be here and I am really looking forward to hear from you or just to see you around or whatever you may feel comfortable with. There is absolutely no pressure on you to answer any of the above questions even just saying hi is totally fine if you feel like it!
Update boopslist: @Avaray @BeeLeigh @KLM3278 @jr50 @Morfo66 @KatieMoon1 @Tamba @Jenna0903 @melliotm @inventiveOrange1 @HearingYourHeart @Lilyflower0817 @exuberantTriangle2562 @Ivorycat5573 @weareall1 @moonchild95 @AMusicalSilence @catsith @energeticPenny8 @Rebekahwriter13 @sensitiveShade5337 @singercrystalspirit @Ocendade @tenacity37 @Raveninthelabrynth @blissedNblessed @AriannaPink @sereneSoul23 @Zombii @Godborned @resourcefulPond1641 @Lilibuth12 @Tir @Halogen @Hoxenos @Christine1980 @Compassionatelistener108 @TheHoneyDoll @purpleWest8143 @silverIceCream21 @Bumblebee16 @archerzvy @CopingwithTrauma @Musicheals61 @placidFriend3007 @orchard9786 @Calmlake1999 @emotionalMaple9419 @MoreThanAConqueror18 @Redhawk6547 @Sk1ttles @Shayc1 @stella17 @blinkk @Equalnotabove @Compassion21 @lilblackcat89 @amiableSummer3420 @FangsInsanity @rissadawn @brokenflutterby @g00dwitch @No715 @SpruceRaven @tidyMoon3222 @dynamicHemlock1736 @Hope3729 @hardworkingStrawberries3477 @humorousBeing8966 @NancySV1 @spotthedot @courteousNorth5140 @ArianaMay @affectionateNorth4018 @FloweringBunny @loyalDrum2337 @InvaderStitch@redmark @CaringBrit @Ambrosia @practicalIdeal2007 @incompl @Forgive2Live @Ayla @RockClimber18
>Click here< to add or remove your name from the *boops*-list (also known as taglist :P)
Please only submit once, as we only update the tag list once a week. If it's urgent, feel free to PM Kate or Hoxenos. We will clean up the list every 3 months of site inactivity, but just sign up again and we'll put you right back, no worries!
I am from India. I am suffering from OCD of thoughts since early childhood. But I was diagnosed at the age of 15. Now I am 20. I am feeling very heavy from inside and finding no way to proceed in life. Can I share my problem with anybody here?.. can anybody share his/ her story also... ?.
I will be grateful
@sirraghavgupta Hi friend, I am also feeling very heavy inside today. The last 6 months have been so difficult for me since something happened that threw all my childhood trauma back in my face. I have been working so hard on healing and this has been a real blow. I am trying really hard to struggle on and today I'm just trying to find one little thing at a time to lift my mood fractionally. Any little thing that makes me feel a bit better, trying really hard to care for myself. You are not alone in your struggles, we are all united in our struggle for healing 
@hopetoday what was your childhood trauma. Im here to listen
Hey there @sirraghavgupta *offering safe hugs*
It is so nice to see you around here!
I am sorry to hear that you have to deal with OCD, I can imagine it has to be really hard especially for such a long time now already. I think this is a really good first step to open up here and I am really proud of you as I can imagine it had to be hard for you to do so :)
I do not have any experience with OCD, so I may not be the best at giving advices however I would always be glad to listen if you would like to share! :)
About my life/story, it is pretty long aaand I would say complicated so I am not sure how to compile it into one post but is there something specific you are curious about?
I mean, either way, I just hope you will find this place helpful and do not forget that we are always here for you if there is anything you may want to share or if there is anything we may be able to help you with :)
Stay strong and awesome!
@redmark
Are u a person or chatbot?..
@redmark
What kind of problem did u have?.. what disease?.
Did u take medicine for that?. Was that effective? Did u take therapy? Was that effective?..
I have quit my medicines because of my family doesn't favour it and always warns me about the expenses and the side effects.
@sirraghavgupta I am 100% a person! :)
Well, what I have diagnosed is depression - dysthimia - and than there is the enormous amount of anxiety I deal with both generally and in social situations. I mean, I have got tests filled out for that wirh my therapost but then I have never got anything back from her so I am just kind of left here hanging so I may or may not have GAD and SAD but I feel like I do anyways.
First of all, as a disclaimer, I am not an expert but just a volunteer here offering support so my knowledge on meds are really limited compared to that of a professional. What I will write below are just my experience and opinions and nothing more, but since you have asked:
I am not taking any meds, When my depression was much stronger back at a tough point in my life I have been offered them but I have never taken any so I do not have any experience with that.
For therapy. Well, my experience with therapy is not the best. I guess I just picked a therapist who was not really meant for me but I kind of got myself stuck in that situation for over a year because of...well...anxieties were making me overthink it and feel like I cannot just say "no" when we were always scheduling the next appointment. In spite of my bad experience tho I have heard many other people having great experiences and it really depends on the therapist as well.
For example I have had met a really good therapist at a point in my life but back then I just felt like I am not ready to face my issues so I have turned them down, which I do regret to this day.
Most meds can have a lot of side effects, of that I know, but I do have a friend who have actually had luck with meds but with a lot of experimenting with meds and dosages by her psychiatrist. I mean, it took her doctor I think months to find the right dosage of right meds and until then it was quite of a bumpy road but since then, according to her, it helps a lot.
About the expenses of meds... Is there maybe a way that you could get your health insurance to cover it or at least part of the expenses? - or, well, I do not know about the system in India, but maybe there is a way that you could get help getting your meds if money is really an issue. It is probably worth to ask the person who have prescribed the meds for you.
@sirraghavgupta
I utilize both medication and therapy. I have found both to be extremely helpful and I do not believe that I would be able to function without them. I have a fantastic therapist and I could not do this without their help. I didn
@pioneeringBanana1598
I also feel that but this treatment process seems to be never ending...
@sirraghavgupta
It Does take a long time but when it starts to work, it
@redmark last month was a very difficult one due to my own stupidity. Not something I will repeat, just tried to make the pain stop. Hoping this month is a better one
@crimsonLime6525
But why it was tough for u, if I can ask?.. else I'll not be able to see Ur pain..
Hey there @crimsonLime6525 *offering safe hugs*
It is always so nice to see you around here!
I am really sorry to hear that November was so hard for you. I mean, even if it maybe was your fault, you do still not deserve it and I do really hope that you will have a better November now! :)
I mean, if there is anything we may be able to help you with we are always here for you to help or just listen if you would like to vent. :)
Or just sit here with us, of course! ^-^
Stay strong and awesome!
@redmark I shouldn
@crimsonLime6525 Hey, don't worry, I am glad you have shared. I am sorry if I have made you feel uncomfortable in any way, that was not my intention here.
I do want you to know that you are always welcome to share here anything on your mind or, if you are not feeling up to it, just sit with us
@redmark it wasn
@crimsonLime6525 Oh, I see. I am really sorry to hear about that it sounds really hard for sure. *offering safe hugs*
I can imagine that after all that you have been through it has to be really hard to trust people and open up and I want you to know that I feel really honored that you have decided to share this with me and I am really proud of you for doing such an amazing job and still sharing about this here with us. :)
There is absolutely no pressure on you to share here tho, only if you feel up to it. If you just feel like you would not like to be alone just sit with us it is totally okay as well or even if you may skip a check-in or two you will be always welcome here to post again.
@crimsonLime6525
Hi Lime. I completely understand about the sharing. Whether you share or not I still want to see. Today I have teddy bear hugs and cupcakes if you want.
@practicalIdeal2007 Ohh...these are so cute! I kind of want one but then I am sure I would not have the heart to eat it >.<
Still, I love it :P
Also, sorry for just jumping in on here as I know it was not meant for me but it is just soo awesome! >.<
@practicalIdeal2007
Those are very cute Ideal!
@practicalIdeal2007 I will take teddy bear hugs as I am really missing my stuffed bunny but don
@crimsonLime6525
Anytime. Those of us struggling have to stick together.
@practicalIdeal2007 I am going to try harder to be here a little more often
@crimsonLime6525
i truly understand the feeling of "enough pain", and the desire to escape by any means... it takes great strength to continue in this world of suffering, sometimes. my heart goes out to you~
I've been low with depression last whole last month, hoping it'll change with the upcoming one. Managed to start it with torn shoulder ligaments due to an accident at work, though, so not sure what that entails... lol
Either way, looking forward to spending some time with my partner during the holiday season.
@OneErased
Are u not worried for Ur productivity?.. Ur goals and all,..
@sirraghavgupta
I worry about a lot of stuff, way too much for my own good. Jus trying to concenrate on the positives wherever I can.
Hey there @OneErased *offering safe hugs*
It is so nice to hear from you around here!
I am sorry to hear that November was so hard on you but I do hope you will get better and that you will have a good December. Although, I can imagine that gettin your shoulder ligaments torn is not a good start to it buut there is still a lot left of this month to turn out to be a good one! ^-^
Also, spending time with your partner ac Christmas sounds really exciting! I mean, I just hope you will have a nice time together and just a good Christmas :)
Stay awesome!
Im new here, but feeling very lonely and really need to chat. My boyfriend of 3 years ended our relationship in April. I had been experiencing bullying for months at work and was getting panic attacks. I didnt have the strength to go to a tribunal and had quit my job. I then lost my flat and am living with my parents again. Im so scared of starting over and have lost all hope.
Im 40, which is also REALLY scary as everyone I know is settled. I miss my ex I was with for 5 years in my 30s - we split because we had a great friendship but there was no physical attraction, even though there was a LOT of love. We probably slept together about 8 times in 5 years. Now Im older I regret breaking up with him even though it wasnt completely right for me.
I am truly dreading Christmas and my birthday which is in December.
Some days I cant get out of bed. So alone.
Hey there @littleNest6284 *offering safe hugs*
Welcome here! We are really glad to have you here with us!
I am sorry to hear that you have had such a hard year so far. I can imagine losing someone so important for you had to be really hard and to simultaneously experience bullying as well sounds terrible. I know that it had to be really, really hard and things can be just scary after all you have been through but I want you to know that it is okay to feel this way, it is okay to be scared.
I can imagine the peer pressure on you considering your age has to be really big to settle down as well. You know tho, my office manager - who is my boss generally, but she is very nice - and she is around the same age as you and she is single as well. She has decided that she has not needed anyone in her life - yet - and just moved on with it and still she is one of those people I look up to. I mean, I am not saying wanting to settle down with someone is a bad thing but it is okay as well to focus on other things rather and build yourself if you feel like that is what you need.
I mean, it is up to you, of course, but the way you feel and the way you are is okay and you do not have to settle down with anyone if you do not want to. Of course, I understand that you would like to improve your current situation and I think you are doing a good job at that. I mean, this is just one step, I know but I know it had to be scary to reach out to us here but you have still done it. I am really proud of you and I do believe in you that you can get through this step by step and we will be here for you through this :)
Also, we can maybe celebrate our birthday together - virtually. I mean I have been born in December as well anyways ^-^
I am looking forward to hear from you more later on but there is absolutely no pressure on you, of course :)
Stay awesome!
Thanks for replying, it was such a comfort. Ive logged in a couple of times but didnt post. Bit the bullet tonight as feeling completely hopeless. Receiving a response really did help.
I get what youre saying about being ok by myself and focusing on moving on alone. Think I need to find a way to be happy being me first. But baby steps. Need to start liking myself again 😔😊
@littleNest6284
Im sorry you feel alone. Sending safe hugs if OK.
More than OK. Thanks for reaching out
@littleNest6284
:)
@redmark
Hi Red. I wish I could tell you that things are better. November was so very hard for me. I know that December will be even harder. December is so cold and loud. I think it's the loudest month of the year. I keep trying. Hoping things will change. Some days it is so very hard to not give up.
Hey there @practicalIdeal2007 *offering safe hugs*
It is always so awesome to see you around here!
I know your November was really hard but I am still really sorry to hear about it. Also, December can be really hard for sure with all those things going on in this last month so I - kind of - get that. I do want you to know tho that you are always welcome here and we can always just hide away in a pillow fort as well if you ever need it :)
I mean, I do still believe. Believe in that we can get through this together and that after things calm down a bit with December being over I do believe that things can get better. I mean, I do not only believe in it but I am willing to help if I can so feel free to reach out to me - or anyone here - anytime. ^-^
Your feelings and you are important and always will be :)
Stay strong and awesome!
@practicalIdeal2007
Hi Ideal 👋
I think it is awesome that you keep trying. I understand that some days it
@practicalIdeal2007
If all you did today was try, thats ok. Just keep trying and knowing that there there are so many others wishing December wasnt shouting so loudly at us.
A day at a time.
@redmark
That is such a beautiful picture! Did you take it?
Hey there @wittySpruce8187 *offering safe hugs*
It is really nice to have you around here!
It is actaully from Google but it was it was taken in the capital city of my country some years ago in the Christmas fair which I have attended as well actually back then.
I mean, I just love Christmas lights and it is always really pretty so I usually visit the fair just for those :)
@redmark
I'm doing ok. I had a scholorship competition this weekend and I think I did ok. I can't wait for December.
Hey there @friendlyLake5949 *offering safe hugs*
We are really glad to have you here with us!
Oh, a scolaship competition sounds stressful but I am really proud of you for all the hard work you have put into it and for doing well at it! ^-^
I do hope you will have anamazing December. :)
Stay awesome!
@friendlyLake5949
I really like your user name
Thanks!
@pioneeringBanana1598
Last month was a big one for me and a lot of people in my life
I've been waiting for it to be December but now I don't want it to be the end of the year already
Hey there @wittySpruce8187 *offering safe hugs*
It is always really awesome to see you around here and hear from you!
Oh...it sounds actually kind of stressful but exciting to have such a big month but I hope it was the latter for you - and everyone else in your life - and it went well :)
Either way, I get your mixed feelings about December. I mean, I usually just try to go every single day with the same kind of mindset and just stay at the moment and in that day and enjoy it if I can but at this time it can get me as well with the whole year ending. I think it is good tho once you get into the new year because you can kind of get some motivation with something new, like a new chance to make this year better in a way for yourself and try to leave bad things behind. At least for me it helps that way anyways :)
Stay awesome!
Hi.
Hi @RedHawk6547
Hey there @RedHawk6547 *offering safe hugs*
It is so nice to have you here with us! :)
I hope you are doing well lately! I mean, either way, it is really nice to just have you here with us and if there is anything you would like to share or anything we may be able to help you with we are always here for you!
Stay awesome!