Traumatic Experiences Community Daily Check-in: Saturday, 24th of August, 2019
Happy Saturday to you! I am really looking forward to hear from you amazing people again. 
How are you feeling today? :)
How has this week been for you? Do you have anything you would like to share about it? :)
This week has kind of just run by for me. I mean, I am not saying it was short - or long - it just passed by rather quick. With that said I have not really been able to think much about todays check-in so you will not have to listen to me rambling here too much today :P
However, I still do really just enjoy spending time with you here and just hearing from you, so I would be just glad to listen whatever you may have on your mind. :)
I mean, I always have a bunch of random things on my mind I am not sure where or when to share and if it would really fit into a conversation or so...
Well, I would be glad to listen here, no matter what. No pressure tho, just if you feel like you would need to vent about something or just share. Is there something like that on your mind? :)
There is really no pressure on you to answer any of the above questions. If you would just like to say hi or sit around with us for a while we are always happy to have you here :)
Also, we have a whole lot of materials around for pillow forts and a steady supply of safe hugs if you would ever need one :)
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@redmark
Szia awesome red :)
I feel sad today, and I have very little energy. I barely slept last night, and a lack of sleep has always a terrible impact on my mood. My week was... mmm... let's say ok. A few good things happened. I started writing with my interim therapist, and she seems very nice. I have also started to write a little story and I am very excited about it. Very stressful things happened too. Someone has been messing with my car. I had my tyres deflated on purpose and then the petrol door and cap were broken. The police was here and all that stuff. Stressful. At the same time... I am not as worried as I should be. I think I have been dissociating quite a lot recently. Mmm.
Keep being awesome!
@admaiorasemper Hang in there!
Szia @admaiorasemper *offering safe hugs*
We are really glad to have you here with us!
Oww, not getting enough sleep can sure be tough. I know at least that it can really affect me a lot as well and I am sorry that you have to deal with all that on top of having such a tough week. I do hope that you will be able to catch up with some sleep this night - or just get a quick nap maybe :)
I am glad to hear that things are doing well with that interim therapist. I know that this situation is really hard for you now but I am really proud of you for giving her a chance and opening up to her a little bit, I know that it has had to be really tough but you are doing a really amazing work :)
On the other hand...I am sorry to hear about all those things with your car. It sounds really dangerous as well somebody doing things like that with your car so I am glad to hear that the police is on it now and hopefully that will mean that it will just stop and hopefully they will be able to just catch whoever might have been doing it.
Ether way, I want you to know that you are not alone in this and together we can get through this - I believe in you.
Stay strong and awesome!
My week has been good! I've done a lot of learning and growing lately. A lot of just letting my feelings happen and not fighting it. I'm currently struggling with a friend, (well, two) and it's really been bringing me down loads. I've been doing a lot of good stuff, though, and I feel like I'm ready to take on the end of this month. :)
Hey there @betterchoices *offering safe hugs*
It is always really nice to hear from you around here!
I am really glad to hear that you have had a good week. It is definitely a very useful skill to learn to be able to just let your feelings be and happen without fighting them and I am really proud of you and happy for you to make such an amazing progression in your road to recovery. :)
I do hope that you will be able to figure things out with those friends as well tho, just conflict surrounding you can really drag you down for sure but hopefully it will get resolved soon :)
Stay awesome!
@redmark hello.
How are you feeling today? :) How has this week been for you? Do you have anything you would like to share about it? :)
today i started feeling very positive but that changed quickly when my family and i got into a fight. then i tried to distract myself and now i came home very proud showing them how productive i was and how i try so hard for school just for them to tell me "well it could be better". everytime i do anything it is not enough for them and its seriously destroying me. i dont know how to deal with this, this is ruining me.
Hey there @dynamicHemlock1736 *offering safe hugs*
We are really glad to have you here with us!
Well, first of all, I am really proud of you! It is really amazing of you that you have turned all that negative energy into being productive and working on school stuff, you are doing a really awesome job there! :)
Of course, I know it can be tough when you do not get recognition from your family and those around you. This whole "it could be better" is just such an empty and generally vague thing to throw at someone as well not really helping them to grow but rather just making them feel bad about their achievements. I mean, I think it is important that you do really know that you are doing great progress and all those achievements are awesome you have got lately. Maybe you could track those, how your grades are improving, how you have been able to improve those grades. I mean, you can just tell them that you are working on it and if they ever want to get into it you will have all that at hand. :)
Of course, also, it is an option to just ignore them. As I have said this is not really a useful sort of criticism, they are not giving any directions for you to grow with it nor they are really telling you what they are not satisfied with and therefore it is sort of empty. You know that you have put all that effort into it, you know that you are doing your best and we are really proud of you here for it :)
Stay awesome!
@redmark thank you so much for this..... i wont ignore them because they are still my family and i enjoy my time with them. however, i should maybe not seek encouragement from them. I know they only put me down or say things like "well it could be better" because they want to push me and motivate me. But for encouragement they are probably not the right people to go to.
@redmarj just going to sit for a few moments if that
@crimsonLime6525
I could sit with you if you would like.
@RedHawk6547 I
Hey there @crimsonLime6525 *offering safe hugs*
It is really nice to have you here with us!
I hope you are having a good weekend so far. Either way tho, we are always glad to just have you here with us :)
Stay awesome!
How are you feeling today? I'm hang in there.
How has this week been for you? Up and down.
Do you have anything you would like to share about it? :) I realize I am better with people in my life.
Hey there @Rebekahwriter13 *offering safe hugs*
We are really glad to have you here with us!
I am glad to hear that you are hanging in there. :)
I am sorry that you have had such a rollercoaste of a week tho but I am glad to hear that you do have people like that in your life that can make it better for you. :)
Stay awesome!
@redmark thank you.
I'm just dealing one day at a time.
This week has breezed by but it has been a rough rough week.
I was able to do lots of school work, but that was only until the week hit me. My great uncle had hung himself...my grandmother's house caught on fire the next day...a man who roughed me up during a hook up tried to contact me...
It was just not a good week at all...and I had to pretend everything was okay and went to work.
I didn't get much schoolwork done after that, and today I had a nightmare that my blood grandfather had found me...
This week just needs to end...
Hey there @Gizmosmom1313 *offering safe hugs*
We are really glad to have you here with us!
Oww, that sure sounds like a really tough week. I am not exactly sure what I could say but I really just want you to know that, if there is anything we may be able to help you with, we are always here for you.
I mean, I do know that these things can really just stir up so many thoughts, feelings and emotions but you are not alone in this - although, there is absolutely no pressure on you, but if you ever feel like sharing anything here or asking for anything we would be glad to help and listen as best as we can :)
Stay strong and awesome!
@redmark
I was in a weird mood earlier today. I couldn't quite figure it out. Then I had a friend call me. Apparently things have not been going well between us for quite some time. I had no clue. She never said anything until now. How am I supposed to react to this? It really hurt that she felt she needed to hide it from me. I'm glad she was able to tell me now. If only I had known sooner things could have been different. I guess we'll have to see how it all works out. Anyway I started a new job recently. It's going ok. It's not exactly where I wanted to be but maybe eventually I'll work my way there. My daughter started a new school. She has had a lot of homework already and is getting frustrated. It's been busy the past couple of weeks.
Hey there @RedHawk6547 *offering safe hugs*
It is always really nice to ear from you around here!
It is always tough, I suppose. I mean, when a relationship - including friendships - hits a sort of a rut it is not always easy to really work it out. I mean, I know that for example I am not really the best at really just tackling the problem and trying to discuss it with the other person but I think it is a really important thing that your friend has had shared that problem with you and it really shows that you do mean a lot to them if they really want to work through this like that :)
Also, starting a new job. I am glad to hear that you have got to that new place but of course I understand that it may take some time to find your place there and maybe work yourself up a bit to a position you would really like to but I believe in you, you can do it! :)
I am sorry to hear about your daughter feeling frustrated. It can be certainly hard to start at a new school and throwing so much homework at her can definitely make it really frustrating. I do hope that she will be able to find her place around there and keep up with all that homework. I mean, I am sure she will, but, of course, it is importnat to not push her too much about it and I think it is really nice of you to listen to her and to her feelings like that. :)
Stay awesome!
@redmark
The weekend was mostly... I don't know. Something. I'm not sure how I'm feeling. Maybe sad, or... some kind of malaise that feels unjustified because it's such a beautiful day, and I have some freedom today to accomplish some things that I've been putting off. I get angry with myself for not being 'happier' with my fortunate circumstances.
Saturday was spent doing almost nothing. My partner had to go to work, so I joined him and worked on some comic book ideas - including doing a fairly decent concept drawing when I haven't drawn in months. My partner works in a shop, and had to paint parts with a silicone based paint that was extremely noxious with poor ventilation, and that made me angry. I got a headache and went outside, but my partner finished the job and I am worried that he's doing this all the time.
Sunday we cleaned out the garage some, started planning how to organize it. It wasn't as satisfying as I hoped it would be. There is just so much work ahead of us. He also put in a valve on our water main, and I spent 3 hours pruning a giant rhodendendron taking over our yard that had been malpruned by the previous owners. I did some weeding, and realized almost every tree and shrub on the property needs to be pruned, transplanted, or removed, so to retaliate I fell asleep for 2 hours in the middle of the day.
The cat has been sick, and she's been recovering well the last three weeks from a digestive issue, but the last two days she stopped eating. Since it was Sunday I couldn't talk to any vets unless I took her a 45 minute drive to an emergency clinic - so I scheduled an appointment and waited it out (she's doing better this morning). I got into a fight with my mother who thinks I should put her down. She told me I was just torturing her and wasting money on vets, and then went and 'apologized' to the cat for the pain I'm putting her through. It was extremely upsetting.
I guess the weekend was a roller coaster emotionally, even though not much 'happened' technically. It's sort of the story of my life right now. To be honest I feel like crawling under rock and never coming out... or maybe hiding somewhere in the woods, as I did when I was a kid and felt overwhelmed. Heh.
Hey there @calypteanna *offering safe hugs*
It is really nice to hear from you around here!
Aww, I am sorry to hear that you are feeling like that. I can understand that you may feel guilty feeling bad when everything seems to be going well in your life but just remember that your feelings are always valid, no matter which way you may be feeling. Maybe you could ask yourself why you may be feeling like that and just try to write up points as an exercise but, of course, there is absolutely no pressure on you :)
Oh..that sure sounds like something that might not be good for your partner. I mean, maybe you could push this a little bit and I think one of those painter's masks thingies are relatively cheap - well, for a shop like that anyway - and probably it would be possible to get him one as well as maybe find something better ventilated.
Either way tho, I am glad to hear that you have got to draw some comics and that they have turned out well. Just drawing and being creative itself can really be such an amazing way of self-care :)
That usually is just going like that. I mean, when you start to renovate something or just clean up you have some quick and easy plans on your mind and as you are going into it it always just turns out to be so much more of a hassle. On the other hand tho, I think it is nice that you have taken some time to work on it and also starting to clean up the yard and garden for the time being. I mean, one step at a time you will get there and I think you are already doing a great job. Also, taking a nap for retaliation does definitely sound like something I would do as well :P
I mean, pets are really family members. Like, I can understand where your mother may be coming from but it is just not that easy. She would not just pull the plug if someone would need care and it would come to just spend money on it. I suppose, she was not really thinking that through tho and I can imagine how upsetting it could have been to you and I am sorry that you have had to go through all that.
On the other hand, I am glad to hear that your cat is making a recovery so far and that she has became better once you have took her to that emergency clinic. I do hope that she will have a speedy recovery and you will be able to spend a whole lot of time together still :)
If you ask me it sounds like you have done a whole lot and that you have got a lot on your plate with the cat and your mother's reaction. I do not know about you but we do usually build pillow forts here to just hide from the world so I can offer you the materials to it and the willingness if you would ever need help with your virtual pillow fort here :)
Stay strong and awesome!
@redmark
Thank you for taking the time to respond. I appreciate it. :) Sometimes it's hard for me to see where I am until I write it out. I'm looking at my rhoddy, and currently feeling inspired that I did that yesterday and proud of it.
Pillow forts, ha! Yes, that's what we do in these parts, as well. I'll bring a flashlight for shadow puppets! ;)