Traumatic Experiences Community Daily Check-in Thursday 28th December 2017

@rozie

Today something deeply healing happened. I have been talking to a guy, who, a month ago, was standoffish and said he would never visit a woman or make the first move because he needed her to prove herself first. What an about face. After two all night chat sessions this week, he kept me up all morning to negotiate visiting me for a full week. His intention really seems to be all-in. It took me half an hour I think to realize he was really serious, and to be effected by that. I was also really exhausted. I had a conference call at 11am and he was discussing this right into the call.

So part of my story and trauma involves this deeply toxic situation with a guy following me around, trying to control me, making empty promises to plan a trip together and never following through. Never contacting me to have a discussion with me about when he would come or talk about schedules. He would just show up in town and stalk me.

This guy now is probably the first guy I have taken as big of a risk on as that guy, and that made me deeply afraid. Monday and Tuesday I was having a panic attack. He didn't know. But today I felt deeply loved and relieved he wanted to buy train tickets and wanted my commitment from me, that he wanted to schedule an actual time to come, and I wouldn't be waiting for empty promises and something that would never happen. And I wanted to cry. I felt loved by that intention from him and those actions.

Wasn